Writing Prompts 1 and 2

1. Is Hell really that bad?

As stated in a previous blog:

"Hell. When a person degrades their soul and loses sight of their humanity and acts out of cruelty and hate making others suffer -they go here. It is not a happy place. I wouldn't even say it's a place for you to wish people to go to. It is a place of torment, violence, pain, loneliness, agony, wretchedness, fear... A place for criminals to drown in the crimes they've committed against themselves or others. People get weighted down or dragged down to this place. Never hope anyone goes here. Only hope they find their own salvation out."

To be more specific, I agree with the way Anne Rice described Hell in Memnoch the Devil. It is a place where people wander blindly. It is a desolate plce where people bump into those around them, and full of fear and rage lash out at anything that draws near. They scratch and scream and cry out. They feel no love or hope. In this state they exist until they find themselves again and rempent, pray for forgiveness, overcome themselves, and move forward with teir existence. Rarely if ever do people in this state make it out.

2. Don't stop forgiving yourself.

This is an interesting topic because today our ToastMastress Regina mentioned keeping a gratitude log. She said writing 5 things you are grateful for every day makes you appreciate life more. Forgiveness and Gratitude seem to go hand in hand. Forgiveness is letting go of your wrongs or somebody else's. Gratitude is appreciating yourself or someone else's good deeds. Forgiveness is therefore more difficult and challenging and thus more important and significant.

People always have problems letting go. They hold onto grudges and disappointments. But forgiving yourself for your wrongs and short-comings is often the hardest because we do these things regularly without thinking. You're an idiot and a failure when you mess up and embarrass yourself. You're a loser when someone won't be your friend or doesn't want to hangout with you. You're pathetic when you won't work up the courage to ask someone an important question because you're afraid of their reaction. You're a coward and a nobody special and a joke and a...

Very few people have it in them to be this cruel and heartless to anyone outside of themselves. And yet internally they are always cutting themselves down for not reaching their own expectations and ideals -for not being "perfect". And in the end it comes down to Love. Do you love yourself or do you hate yourself? When you love others unconditionally and you realize God loves you unconditionally, why don't you love yourself unconditionally? Why is everyone but you caring about and appreciating you?

Self-loathing is telling yourself all the negative things you are and will always be. Self-loving is telling yourself you are more than your flaws and have greater potential to live up to and will one day reach it because you know you can. Forgiving yourself is essential to succeeding in life. It is essential to understanding who you are, overcoming your faults, and achieving who you aspire to be.

I beat myself up every once in a while -usually with self-doubt. More like, "Why couldn't I do what I needed to do? I knew I can do it, but I lacked the confidence in myself to see it through. Why do I always do this? Why do I always suck at having the confidence to believe in myself to achieve my goals?" Irony. After I fail I question why I always fail. We breath negativity into our esteem and then it gets lowered and we're stupid enough to ask ourselves why.

It doesn't happen very often though. For me it is a challenge, coming from the lower end of the self-confidence spectrum, to give credit and praise where it is do. I use to think I wasn't anything special, but over the past couple years I have learned how unique I am. I have learned to appreciate my talents and no longer hold my flaws against myself. I use to beat myself up for being shy -now I am not shy, I am overcoming shyness. I am not a failure- I am overcoming failed attempts at success. I am not weird or strange -I am leading my own life and it is therefore different from the lives of others.

You are not your flaws. You are not your mistakes. You are not your doubts. You are not your fears. You are Overcoming them.