Saturday, October 24, 2015

Cyber Violence Towards Women

My friend Addi posted this on Facebook in response to the woman who collected 10 years of violent threats and messages from many many men:

When I was in Tokyo, I had a blog to keep my family up to date on my life. Halfway through the year, an anonymous user started commenting frequently, starting with things like smiley emojis, to passive-aggressive messages, and after a while it escalated to full-blown, terrifying remarks with language I dare not repeat here. Every time I blacklisted their username or their IP address, they came back, and their comments became more and more violent.
A year later, after coming back to the states and my blog quieted, by bizarre coincidence a friend had stumbled upon a blog that was solely dedicated to hating me. There was just a single post, with a photo that was likely taken from my blog, and a ton of really awful things said about me. I cried a lot, then reported the blog, and it was taken down. To this day, I don't know who that commenter was or the blog owner, but I imagine they are the same person based on the language they used. I'm also positive they are the same person who began stalking me when I worked at Eastridge (side note: Eastridge Security has the nicest people).
My point is, the Internet is a scary place, but it's an especially scary place for women. If a woman in your life tells you about something that is frightening her, do not gaslight her and tell her "it's probably not that bad" and "they're just trolls". Every woman who has an internet presence has experienced messages like the ones this woman has collected, and having an internet presence does NOT equal consent to receive such vile comments.

Commenter on Addi's Post: The Internet: where "no thank you" can escalate to "I will rape and kill your whole family" in under a minute.
This is why we can't have nice things.

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Deodorant Issues

So I just found out the other day that #1 The main ingredient in 

deodorant is ALUMINUM??? WHYSSSSSSS? Did not notice that 

before. Noticed it now because #2 it leads to Breast Cancer???!!! 

WHYSSSSS! I hate products. I just hate them. Because then I 

went to get some NON-Cancer causing deodorant that was 

Aluminum-free and guess what -NO LUCK. WHYYYYSSSSS?!!!

It just frustrates me that #1 a company could make a product with 

aluminum in it that people put on their skin and not think, "Gee 

maybe this might have negative health effects on consumers" and 

#2 As a consumer YOU have to be the one to keep an eye out for 

products slowly trying to kill you.

You know what frustrates me most. I said NO McDonald's french 

fries yesterday. I realized as an intelligent, well-informed human

that McDonald's fries will lead to cancer if I eat too many too often.

And even though it was only going to be that one time that I eat the

fries, I still thought, "No. It isn't healthy and is bad enough to cause

cancer in the first place." Then I find out my deodorant is trying to

kill me. WHYYYYYYYY! Why can I not get a break. 

If the french fries don't get you the deodorant will. 

A Queer Day

I watched Rocky Horror Picture Show for the first time yesterday. I had multiple opportunities to see it before, and I understood it was a "cult hit", but was never really int he mood for it. I always figured it just "wasn't time" yet. 

God works in interesting ways. And I think He aligned various events to converge as He often does. So shortly after watching the film, a friend of mine posted this article on his Facebook and said, "Leave it to humans to make life complicated":

The article is about various sexual identities other than Straight, Gay, and Bisexual. Other people then commented on his post saying that it was all made up bullsh*t and a waste of time. I was the only one to comment to the contrary:

I know it's not a popular opinion, but I like this new found attempt

to understand different identities because it opens people's eyes to

the fact that we don't all love/find attraction in the same way -not

just based on female/male gender but the way attraction itself 

works and the many forms it can take.

And so in the full interest in transparency I will attempt to explain my "sexual identity" and what I learned form watching Rocky Horror. 

Firstly let me say I acknowledge Tim Curry is in touch with a very dark-side understanding of well... darkness. He's played the evil clown in IT. He played Satan in Legend. And in this movie he plays someone who is hyper-sexual and in some instances violent. 

The movie was made during a time when transvestites were first openly being acknowledged and were openly feared. So the movie was kind of poking fun at "clean, white bread" people who act pure and innocent being just as stereotyped into that lie as people who are transvestite. Since trans people were being treated as monsters, Dr. Frank (Tim Curry) was essentially a take on Victor Frankenstein. There was also some reference to being space aliens. 

Basically the film argued, what people fear as homosexuals and transexuals "being different" is really just a fear of sexuality itself -which people ultimately don't fear, but instead secretly desire. They can thus be "converted" into "monsters" themselves. 

Anyways, sub-plot to the side, the thing that got me most was how impressed I was with Tim Curry's CONFIDENCE. He never coward, or flinched, or gave any kind of notion that he did not "own" his entire existence. The main "couple" in the movie was riddled with insecurity, but Tim was constant in confidence until the end when you find out that all he really wants is LOVE and to not be so alone in the world. 

As for my "identity" I'd first have to lay the groundwork for a few other identites first.

1. Sex = What you were physically born as -Male or Female

2. Gender = How you identity your self as a sex Internally and with intentions of it being mirrored Externally -Meaning someone could be born as a Boy but identify as a Girl. 

3. Heterosexuality = Attracted to someone Physically of the opposite sex

4. Homosexuality = Being attracted to someone Physically of the same sex

5. Bisexuality = Being attracted to someone Physically of Either sex

6. Pansexual = Being attracted to someone Emotionally/Physically of ANY Sex or Gender

So really what you have are 2 MAIN identities that need to be distinguished. What is your GENDER identity and what is your ATTRACTION identity. 

My Gender Identity is: I was born female, but am not very Feminine. I don't carry that much about my physical appearance in general. I don't usually wear dresses, I hate high heels, and the color pink can go screw itself. I have stronger leanings towards Masculinity -but mostly in Thought Process. I don't dress like a guy, I'm not a "macho man", I hate male ego, but I identify more "masculine" than feminine in personality. I'm more or less balanced, with masculine leanings in terms of Gender. 

My Attraction Identity is a little more complicated: 

I acknowledge that I am attracted to some men physically and some women physically -but not ALL. I'm usually attracted to Personality, Empathy, Spirituality, and Honesty -which are present in Both genders and sexes. 

I do not desire to have sex with a man. I actually find the concept kind of a turn off. If I was to have sex I would rather it be with a woman. But I do NOT desire sex in general and never really have. Society seems to want me to lust more than I actually do. Just not that interested. 

I would rather be married to a single person for 30 years with no sex at all. That would be a great relationship for me. 

As far as "types" go: 

I am not attracted to people who are "high maintenance" and overtly sexual. I am not attracted to Channing Tatum, Ashton Kutcher, Megan Fox, Kim Kardashian... I am actually UNNATRACTED to these people. 

Keira Knightley, Jennifer Aniston, Milo Ventimiglia, Jonathan Scott... More empathetic, mindful, caring people. 

I do acknowledge physicality and Physical Attributes to account for some amount of attraction. But nothing KILLS attraction for me like EGO, conceit, vanity, arrogance, disdain, and bigotry. Beliefs and attitudes towards others as well as spiritual presence resonate more with me when it comes to romantic attraction. 

So what does this make me? I'm sort of Bi-Sexual but also sort of A-sexual. I acknowledge I can lust, but have No interest in it and even less interest on acting on it with another. I want long-term committed relationship of meaning and quality and I don't honestly care if it's with a man or a woman. 

For people who are simply straight, life is uncomplicated. But for those who's life isn't as cut and paste, it is important to acknowledge Who you are and What you want in a relationship -if you want one at all. And unfortunately the only "identities" being represented right now are Hetero, Homo, Bi, and quite recently Trans. But there is an entire SPECTUM here. 

It's like ignoring the existence of a rainbow in preference of only the colors you "like". I only acknowledge Blue, Purple, Green, and Red. You say "Orange exists" and I say "I don't care because I don't need orange or want orange". These identities aren't being mentioned because they serve you in particular, they are being mentioned because they EXIST. 

The best comparison I can make is an overt one. Since these identities are internal, let's compare to one that's external because the fact is this phenomenon of ignoring identities exists within Race as well. 

Black people exist. White people exist. Sometimes White/Black mixed people exist. And that's it. 

Except that it ISN'T. Sometimes White/Black/Hispanic people exist. A Tri-Race person can exist. 3 equally prevalent ethnic identities. These people are a Minority within a Minority. Because the minority itself is generally ignored, those within a sub-minority are even more INVISIBLE. And they EXIST. 

The bottom line is that it matters to see the INVISIBLE. It matters to see the full SPECTRUM. To acknowledge all the Truth there is within our lives and the lives of those around us. 

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Hey Skinny Girl

My sister posted this on Facebook: 

"Hey, skinny girl." I look up. Of course they're talking to me. I 

wear baggy clothes but people can still tell I'm 30 lbs underweight. 

Oh no, please do come over and flirt at me. I'm not intimidated by 3

 guys surrounding me by my car and invading my personal bubble 

at all. In fact, let me date all of you, one each day or maybe all at 

once to save time? I'm a terribly efficient person. Ah, yes, my cane.

 To you it says,"weak person" to me it says,"weapon of choice as 

my limbs are perfectly healthy and I've got a lot of pent up 

aggression. So go ahead and try something. Make My Day" But 

fine, leave. Walk away. Nice chat, I guess.

I responded: Pepper spray + a cane = DEATH. Stay armed.

She responded: I don't always beat creeps to a pulp, but when I do 

use Pepper spray and a cane. Stay dangerous my friends.

Strange Encounter

Nina my new friend and her new friend Adam wanted to go the mall on a Friday. Great idea, the mall is undoubtedly crowded and I'm trying to save money not spend it. But I decide to go along anyway just to hangout and because I've been cooped inside all day. 

Nina and Adam are "young". Technically they're both 18 which explains why, but then again age does not speak anything to experience. 

Nina is sort of spiritual in that she's had spiritual experiences, but other than that she's naive when it comes to spirituality and expert when it comes to practicality. Adam is just young, fun, and full of energy. I almost accidentally spelled "fool of energy", which is an interesting slip up... 

We made it to the mall, one we'd been to before about 4 times in spite of only being in Colorado about a month. Adam was in the back seat, I was co-piloting the front, and Nina was driving. As we were driving along I suddenly felt/heard myself saying in my head, "I call on Michael. My he give peace and protection to us on this journey." It's kind of random that without thinking my mind would take that kind of action on its own. But I figured since the angel Michael is who I turn to most for protection, there might be some bigger reason I was calling without planning on it, so then I consciously called to him and asked him to protect all 3 of us. 

When we were trying to find a parking spot, Adam kept looking at people passing by and started saying "Ball sack!" really loud inside the car -which made Nina laugh. He was just being random and amusing. But then as a young guy in a white tank top and white shorts started to walk past, Adam took it a step further and rolled down the window yelling, "BALL SACK!!!" really fast as we drove past the guy. 

The guy immediately turned around and yelled, "What the f*ck did you just say to me?!!!" 

Adam turned to Nina and yelled, "Drive drive drive!" 

Nina sped off. Then she called Adam stupid for pissing the guy off. As Nina went to turn down another row of cars she saw the guy walking down the aisle towards her. Not wanting a possible confrontation, she then went down the next aisle. 

She found a spot and went to park the car, but then saw the guy sitting in front of the mall entrance on his phone. (I suspect he was calling for backup because he was PISSED). Nina said, "Great now we can't go in the mall because he'll beat us up." 

Adam said, "Hey let's just drive past the guy, I'll roll down my window and apologize." I told Adam, "He probably won't care. He's realllly angry. I doubt an apology will do anything." 

But Nina backed up and made her way towards the front of the mall. Adam rolled his window down and cowardly said, "Hey man I was just playing, no hate!" The guy then stood up like he was going to head towards the car and started to say something but the Nina bolted. She said, "Yah he still seems kind of pissed..." 

Nina then attempted to park on the other side of the mall. When we got out of the car, we looked around and suddenly saw the guy on a skateboard going up and down each car aisle looking for us. Nina and Adam decided to hide behind a nearby car. I officially got tired of the situation and walked away from both of them and towards the mall entrance. I figured I would be safer inside the building around people then outside hiding behind cars. 

Made my way in and watched out the window thinking Nina and Adam would come in after me. 5 minutes later I saw them drive past. I immediately started trying to text them. We agreed to meet in front of the original mall entrance and I would quickly hop in so we could drive off. 

We decided from there to go to another mall. Adam kept saying that the guy was a "troubled child" and that if it had come to blows Adam would have kicked his ass. 

I was just thankful Michael had guided me because I did feel protected in that situation in spite of the circumstances. I think he helped out. 

The second mall we went to was a new one. We ended up going into a spiritual store called "Earthbound". As I was admiring the Buddhist and Christian motifs and figures, Nina and Adam called to me from the other side of the store. They were checking out Hookas and wanted to get one. 

This is kind of my point. It's really sad/annoying that you can hold such a reverence and appreciation for a spiritual store like that and then other people just come in and say, "Hey take a picture of me in this cool tribal mask so I can post it on Facebook." Which also happened in the store. 

The sacred and the divine are all around us. The more we open our minds to these things, the more our soul will pick up on them as well. 

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Thoughts on Gun Violence

I asked God and the Holy Spirit for greater understanding and clarity with regards to mass shootings since they have increased in number, but our ability to prevent them remains unchanged. 

Several Main Points then became clear: 

1. You don't have to take guns away from people to make guns safer. BACKGROUND CHECKS should be mandatory and thorough. Most of the mass shooters given guns wouldn't have been if their past history of violence and/or mental illness had been noted before guns were sold. 

More importantly, it should be established that if a person at some point during the ownership of their gun then is then charged with acts of violence (especially domestic violence) and/or mental illness their license should be revoked and their guns taken away.  

It's not a guarantee that ALL mass shooters will be weeded out this way, but the majority would. You can't kill people in mass with just a knife. And bombs are complicated and faulty -meaning most shooters would rather rely on the convenience of a gun instead. I'd rather make them go out of their way to attempt a gun illegally -which they may not succeed in doing -than guarantee them a gun legally. 

2. Mass Shooters are TERRORISTS

When you approach the issue of a mass shooter, you are not dealing with a typical person. Sometimes the person is NOT mentally ill, but instead is acting on a violent belief system. You can argue psychological issues, but not mental illness. It's not like they're schizophrenic or hearing voices in every case. 

Most people think terrorists are Foreign and are acting on Religion. These are Domestic Terrorists with varying agendas, targets, and rationalities. They need to be acknowledged as such. The approach you then take towards them is completely different.

3. Domestic Terrorism -although horrific -is in the minority of gun-related acts of violence in this country. 

The majority of Gun abuses are for SUICIDE. The second being Domestic Violence/ Homicide. 

We can focus only on MASS Shootings because they are public and many people die all at once. Or we can focus on the larger scale of deaths by suicide and the all TOO frequent condition of: 

A Husband shot his wife, his children, and then himself -which occurs WEEKLY in the USA. 

There's a broader picture of issues that need to be viewed here. 

4. The VAST majority of gun violence is by MEN. 

Women make up 50% of the population. And yet in 62 cases of mass shooters, only 1 was a woman. From an unbiased, alien's looking down on earth at the species known as human -perspective: It is VERY strange that only 1 gender of the 2 gender is committing 95% of the violent crimes affiliated with guns. 

The underlying issue of GENDER and why men seem more prone to violence than woman should be studied and a solution should be sought. 

Personally I think it's because girls are kept on a tighter leash than boys in society in general. "Don't do that..." Girls are taught, especially by male authority, to behave in certain ways they are then more prone to obey. Boys on the other hand aren't as "reigned in" and impressed upon in a young age as girls. Also men's relations with other men suck. They don't talk openly about things and when they do they're called "gay" and punched in the arm.

5. What is being asked and expected of society now that mass shootings are happening so frequently?

The social and educational implications of mass shooters is now effecting the way schools function and children are "trained". Time is being taken out of teaching to lead kindergarten to high school kids through gun-evasive routines. What will the ripple effect of teaching kids to hide from gunman under desks be on the confidence children then have towards the world and themselves. "Cower. You will be shot if you do not hide."

1/11/2016: Update on Present Stance with Regard to Gun Rights:

Basically I compare gun ownership to the legalization of alcohol. Both have the potential to be harmful, but neither are harmful outright. It is only when they are abused that lives get destroyed. However unlike Alcoholism which can lead to the often slow destruction and demise of a human life, gun abuse is far more swift and fatal. 

But ultimately, just as illegalizing alcohol during the prohibition failed miserably because people rose up against it, any attempt to make guns illegal will end in a similar failure. Unless the majority of people in this country consent to guns being banned, they will never fully be taken away. I think in time God will find a way to alleviate the issues surrounding gun violence and lead people to let go of their attachment to guns.

Refugee Crisis

What’s that? A group of traumatized people are seeking refuge from the horrific religious/governmental abuses of their land they have NO control over by going to a land of religious tolerance. Who does that sound like America/ Europe? At least their not raping, shooting, and enslaving the native population when they arrive.

Personally I think the refugee crisis in Europe is a historical opportunity for Europe to right past wrongs and make peace with grievances made against God and innocent people.

We’ll see how they end up interpreting things and acting…

Especially since the majority of these refugees are children.

Monday, October 5, 2015

Religious Cycles of Pain and Peace

It seems most of religions -especially the largest ones -go through this cycle. Ultimately All arrive at Peace. 

When Judaism first began its followers were greatly persecuted. At one point its majority was enslaved.

Then as time when on Judaism gained followers and power. It established vast institutions. 

Then Christianity began in its humble state as Judaism had. Christians were then persecuted -mostly by Jews for a good period of time. 

Then as time went on Christianity gained followers and power. It established vast institutions. 

Then Islam began in its humble state as Christianity had. Muslims were then persecuted by Christians. 

And so it went with one group taking turn at destroying the other. And within ALL 3 religions were then mass killings, slayings, rapes, murders, enslavement, torture, burning... of their own Followers. 

At one point in Europe when Christianity had its strong hold, Jews were actually segregated and treated as an "other" people. When Hitler rose to power he acted upon this founded hatred and brought it to fruition. Hitler, Mussolini, and Stalin were all raised Catholic, but were at best Agnostic and resented that religion. Either way, Christianity had NEGATIVELY influenced their actions by breading their hatreds in society and their own minds in the first place. 

Then the abuses of the Catholic Church raping children came to light only a couple of decades ago. Still the church would do nothing, until recent years -even avoiding the subject in open acknowledgement and Hiding pedophiles from the public. 

But after the Holocaust something happened: Christianity STOPPED hating on Jews. At least for the most part. The error of their ways was learned from the blood of children stained on the hands of that religion. 

I'm not entirely certain what Judaism's historical turn was when they too Stopped harming Christians as they had before during its early years, but Peace now reigns between these religions. 

And so it is Islams turn. As they have persecuted and destroyed the lives of their own Followers, so do they also seek to now destroy the lives of other religions -Christianity in particular. 

And History and GOD has shown: Peace is the way. They WILL find their way to peace and make peace with those around them. As it took Christians and Jews centuries to do, pray it takes them far less time. As Christians once persecuted so now will they be persecuted by this sick cycle religion tends to follow. 

And when the blood of children is on the hands of ALL religions may NO person on this earth seek to judge or condemn any other religion for doing as it will. We are not fit to judge, we are not made to judge. We are made for peace and compassion. One day ALL humans will learn this. 

Satanism follows suite as well. There have been Satanists in centuries past that killed children and Christians. But then there have also been Christians that have killed non-Satanists claimed as Satanists in the name of religion. So the blood of the innocent is on both hands of these 2 religions as well. 

I'm not as certain of the Eastern Religions. I know that Hinduism started humbly enough, but then abused its own people with the Caste System. And Buddhism started humbly as well, but there have been monks who have burned innocent people alive. 

To date, I have not heard of any 1 religion that has not been used as an excuse to abuse and/or kill human beings. 

Religions should always be exercised with caution as you would fire. They can be used to give light and warmth, but can also be used to destroy and burn. 

God never justifies Killing or Abuse. God Loves an Cares for humanity -His creations. ALL will come to know this peace in the end. 

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Funny Twitter Convo

My friend LOVES Iron Man...

Me: The power of Iron Man in your hands...

Alex: You're telling me my knitted gloves aren't good enough?

Me: Those are pretty special. It'd be awesome if they were red and gold. ;)

Alex: Hehe yeah, I guess the person I bought them from were doing the War Machine gloves

Me: Here u go...


Me: Now you know what to ask for for Christmas :)

Alex: Doe can I get some knitted Iron Man gloves for Christmas?

Me: I'll put in a good word with the elves.

Alex: Dang you got connections

Me: You eat enough Keebler cookies and Rice Krispies you make an impression on some people...

Alex: You know I never knew those were elves!!! Whaaaaaat...too bad their creation only tasted good 
with a heap of sugar...

Me: It tasted fine on its own. Although sugar + Cheerios = Amazing.

Alex: Honey nut cheerios was like kids crack! (Horrible analogy but,hey) So addicting!

Me: I liked Lucky Charms. But the leprechaun never gave me a cent of his pot of gold. Jerk...

Alex: So you got connections to the elves but not to leprechauns? O.o What gives? Explanation please.

Me: Leprechauns are hoarders. Elves are employed to give to others, but leprechauns only live for themselves and their gold.

Alex: Ah so you've no desire to get to know leprechauns I see. That explains it all.

Me: It's a 2 way street. They avoid people. They're paranoid people will take all their gold. It's kind of like brefriending Smaug. Only less perilous.

Alex: Your Smaug/Leprechaun comparison is stimulating my brain!!!! Well at least that leprechaun liberally distributes cereal.

Me: Yes he doesn't skimp on the Hearts, Stars, Horeshoes, Clovers, and Balloons...

Alex: Please tell me you looked that up and didn't have that memorized from youth

Me: It was a catchy tune...

Alex: lol stay cute Doe!

Me: I try :)