Thursday, June 22, 2017

Lessons from House Cleaning

I haven't blogged in a while and have been tracking my dreams without typing them up which bothers me but I'll get around to it eventually. 

In the meantime I've been taking notes on life lessons learned from cleaning a variety of houses. 

I realized that I was being led into this line of work for the humility, the adventure and freedom I feel traveling around and exploring new areas, the exercise which I've been lacking for a while now, the need for income, getting to visit with different pets and animals, and the ability of this line of work to provide great insights into the lives of others. 

There's so much our homes say about us without us even being present. So here are some things I've picked up on that distinguish the wealthier homes and lifestyles from those who tend to make and have less: 

Wealthy Homes: 
I was surprised how consistently clean a lot of wealthier homesteads are -especially since they're bigger. These homes and families tend to be less cluttered in general and clean-up after themselves regularly. They only have house cleaners come once a month. 

Their homes are usually very well organized and although they have less in terms of clutter what they do have tends to be worth more. Their homes also seem like they're open for show. Even the kids rooms are usually pretty well put together and "themed" throughout with matching bed spreads, curtains, and bathroom accessories. Their whole home seems to be on display. 

These homes also feature a lot of artwork and artifacts and items from various cultures. Being educated and cultured and having decent amount of books around seems to go along with this way of life. 

These individuals themselves will also paint, do artwork, or play an instrument of some kind. 

As for religion ALL of the wealthier homes I've seen have some kind of religion around. A lot of the time it's actually Buddhism. I've seen many statues of Buddha and books on Buddhism and "being mindful". The second religious item I come across is The Cross. A lot of the wealthier families aren't exactly agnostic and tend to have signs of Christianity in their home -especially a cross in their children's rooms. 

In General:
Among all the families I've also noticed a lot of interracial couples. I've been to over 20 houses now and I'd say at least 25% of them were all inter-racial couples. Most in general were couples with young kids. 

Other common themes included Star Wars and Harry Potter books pretty consistently. Also items and music pertaining to classic rock. 

Less-Wealthy Homes:
They tended to be cluttered, unclean, and have tons of stuff everywhere -including clothes on the floor. There were still items from various cultures and again Buddhism came up a lot, but in general there was just a lot of everything. They did not clean up after themselves and although their homes were filled with more, they seemed to have less in general. They were amidst chaos and disorder in every room. 

I think the other important lessons I've learned from this -other than learning from some of the people themselves and feeling inspired by what they love or the way they live - is NEVER to hire painters that come in and spray-paint the walls. Paint splatter on counters, floors, and items has been a consistent theme: even in wealthier houses. It's next to impossible to remove every speck and splatter of paint you find. It ruins mirrors and counter tops the most. 

I like this line of work. I get to go places I otherwise would have never traveled to or known existed. I get to learned cool tips on how to clean and maintain a clean house. I love the people I work with and my physical stamina is building up which is good. 

I've also glimpsed into some pretty profound things. I came into one home that seemed to have issues. There was something a little off the second I walked in. It was fairly spacious and had high-ceilings, but also seemed kind of cluttered. A 15 year old boy walked by but wouldn't make eye contact with us or really acknowledge us. Is that really how teenagers are these days? I hate stereotypes but when you hear what people are complaining about with this disengagement in person and then see it being enacted in a teen boy... 

The dad was asleep in the back room and to me that said it all. I knew there was some issue in the family -some kind of tragedy or struggle they'd been hit with, but I didn't know what. Their houses was pretty messy and I kept noticing pictures of the husband and wife in pictures from the 80s, but didn't know where the wife was. 

Then the dad woke up and greeted us at one point. We went into his bedroom and turned into the bathroom and that's when I saw ALL of the medical equipment for the shower, the toilet, and the stuff on the sink. Someone was handicapped. It wasn't until later when I passed by the backyard that I saw the wife. There must have been a huge accident -she was entirely paraplegic. 

My first thought was, "How sad, how do they cover all the medical bills?" Which was a weird thought, but not so weird given the current healthcare climate we're in -especially politically. It's sick that we've come to a place as a people when the concern for paying medical bills outranks in instinct to the fact someone is paralyzed for life. 

But the way the husband tended to the wife was something I know I was meant to see. I had feared and wondered in the past if I was ever disabled or stuck in a wheelchair at some point would the person I was with romantically stay with me. My new friend Monique said she once met a guy who was actively trying to cheat on his wife because she got diagnosed with cancer and he didn't want to be "burdened" by her. It's not too hard to fathom the transience of some people. 

But this man was different. I'd say his wife needed him, but all I could see was the opposite. He catered to her, was attentive to her, and came alive in her presence. He was completely devoted to her and it moved me. That people think that what we need in this life is a body and a companion to fill the space and what we have the ability to be granted instead by God's grace is this love that fills all spaces not with a body or a person -but with a soul. 

I prayed for them, for their sorrows to be healed because life certainly isn't easy for them. But I already know they're doing well in the ways that matter most. 

There have been these sorts of insights brought through and I always make a note to snap photos of the cool, unique items I come across from time to time as well. I want to have a place that's inviting to visitors in every room -to be open in that way and to put my life on display for others to see. It's like window shopping through the greatest hits of unique things people have collected on their journeys -or the objects that hold the most meaning. The view from different places has also been amazing:

This last one got me thinking because I got the sense that this resident was sort of an atheist/agnostic -which is true of at least 2 houses I've been to that had sort of mocking images of Christianity around the house or no signs of religion whatsoever. This bike's sort of a gray area -which is what I spent my morning contemplating as I cleaned the house. 

The phrase "Non-judgment day is near" registered with me as a Relief. Like, "Finally a day when people get off each other's backs and live and let live. Allowing people to Be freely." I get that an atheist might interpret it as making fun of "Judgement Day" like saying "A very merry un-birthday to you" -as in something that isn't or doesn't exist. 

But at the same time it occurred to me if The Final Coming was to happen a good indication of that or what you might expect on that days IS to have no judgement and instead an embrace of ALL into Heaven. To have Heaven merge with Earth with Earth being just as non-judgmental as Heaven. 

Which is where we run into issue with Christian doctrine. there are some that still see God in "old testament" understandings as being spiteful, wrathful, and unmerciful (even though wrath in particular is also called a "sin"). Meanwhile more highly evolved Christians acknowledge Christ teachings of "Do not judge" and the fact that Jesus never condemned anyone only tried to help everyone indiscriminately. 

-So some people think Judgement Day = People Burn and are Cast into Hell.

-Where others think Final Coming = Jesus Return to Earth and All are Embraced as They Rise into Heaven. 

-And Atheists think Christians = crazy. 

Life is amusing. 

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Evade Divide

I've said it a couple times -every time you have 2 conflicting sides you have a deeper, fundamental issue (usually one that revolves around not listening and genuinely seeing/understanding). 

But today I want to exemplify the example of Christ. Even for those who believe Jesus was a just a character in a fairy-tale I would advise them to remember the ending of Harry Potter itself wouldn't have happened the way it did had the example not been made first by Christ. 

Let me tell you of the remarkable wonder of Christ's allegiance to divinity over "propriety" and divide. 

At the time a leper was someone who suffered from a contagious skin disease that who everyone then avoided to not catch the same affliction. If you stood beside a leper it was assumed you had caught the disease and were then deemed to be a leper yourself. 

So when Jesus told His friends that He was going to heal a leper, they warned Him out of fear that He would then be ostracized and possibly catch the disease. 

But Jesus made it clear: I am going to touch the hands of this person and instead of catching a disease from their hands they will receive healing from Mine. He directly pitted Himself against the world and its pains and its finite limitations. 

Then came Peter. Peter hated followers of Christ and burned men and women alive. He committed atrocities against many and went to kill Jesus himself. Jesus then took him in and he came to love Christ so much that when he saw Him wandering on the water he jumped from the boat he was in and ran to Him over the waves. Peter constantly stated in his writings that he was the least worthy of God's love and graces and had received surmounting blessings in spite of turning his back on Jesus Himself. He was always led to being embraced back in. 

Then came the Samarian woman. Samarians were deemed to be loathsome and evil and talking to a woman was borderline forbidden because it was considered degrading and women were considered the property of men -not people. So they were deeply confused when Jesus struck up a conversation with this woman and acted like she was of equal relevance to others. Then he shared the story of the Good Samarian that His followers might come to understand WHY. 

Luke 10:27-35
"27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’[a]; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b]
28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
29 But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”
30 In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’"

Lately the story of "The Least of These" has been coming up as well. Mostly because politicians that only seem concerned with gaining power and profiting off of corruption ignore the fact they also identify as being Christian and act against the interest of the people they claim to serve. But let's throw that example in there as well. 

All around us our examples -if not from Jesus Himself- to seek unity and to be there for one another compassionately. 

I think that message is being lived out these days in the word known as Solidarity. We've shifted in the right direction. But this world constantly distracts us and gives us every excuse to abandon that path, so it's up to us to do as Christ did and choose to stay in alignment with the divine rather than let the ego divide and destroy as it always does.  

No man is an island. We are not intended to live for only ourselves. I hope people learn to extended peace to those around them and find peace within themselves. 

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Artwork Teaching Lessons

Well my artwork is flourishing again. Yay! It's helped so much to not just distract from the uncertainty and financial pressures but also by filling my day with something meaningful that I genuinely enjoy. 

It makes me feel like I've accomplished something where otherwise I'd just feel like I was failing at life. 

I also have been learning some spiritual lessons from it as strange as that sounds. 

The first piece I did was "The Soul of a Saint". Saints are always represented by flowers in full bloom -usually roses -and this one in particular reminded me of those old "monk", religious books with artwork in them back many hundreds of years ago from Europe. 

The lesson learned from this piece was mostly Time. The first drawing of it was completed in 2015 or 2016. It took me this long to even begin coloring it in because originally I wanted to just keep it a sketch. Then I went for it. Then it was about another month before the next chunk of it was completed. It felt weighted and like work and I kept avoiding it. Then as I got more into it the faster the project went. Within days it was done. 

Then I went straight into the next piece. 

Not sure what lesson I learned from this one other than everything worked out when I mistakenly thought colors would conflict and ruin things and it's pretty amazing to look at. Took me a couple days to draw and color in completely. 

The next drawing I learned the most from and was a shift from just depicting flowers and designs as normal. I specifically wanted to do something spiritual in an overt way so I went with an Angel since that image has been popping up lately. 

I love the rainbow effect. The only thing that bothered me about it was the top of the gown around the chest was Green. Initially it was intended to be like leaves blossoming into a flower, but then the flower ended up looking more like a fire and the intricate design in the green top was lost. 

But it reminded me of the heart chakra and the fact that's that green -another spiritual issue I couldn't understand. Normally heart is affiliated with pink/red, but chakras depict that soul-center with green. Then it dawned on me last night, Green = Healing. Love = Healing. DUH! 

This fed into some chakra art I started a couple weeks ago doing graphic computer art instead of drawings. I wanted to show what each chakra represented in terms of Connection to Self + Divinity. 

I depicted the heart chakra as green and it ended up looking like a 4-leaf clover representing "Luck" -not just "Love" -and I kind of liked that. That expressing love and connecting to it would bleed into your fortune. 

Anyway, then my Grandma called me asking me to do an Eye artwork for her. When I was 14 or 15 years old I created a watercolor image of an eye crying that ended up going to my grandma's friend who is also like a grandma to me. I was able to do that piece because I was doing watercolor at the time and I was very, very depressed and contemplating suicide. The eye isn't subtle and is very sad/depressed -which was the state I was in. But to people not knowing that, the watercolor effect just seems to lend itself well to this crying eye image -and my grandma wants me to do that exact image again. 

And I tried to explain to her that I don't do watercolors anymore and haven't for over 10 years now, I don't have watercolor paint, and I've moved on to using mostly sharpie pen right now. But she still wants an eye -and since she likes Native American themed artwork (which is all over her house) I'm going to depict one in the style I've been doing -like the Angel -and create a "Native American Eye". 

It features an eagle, sun/moon, horse, feathers, wolves -and I wanted to elude to a dream catcher so the "eye lashes" on the top consist of the spiral designs found in most dream catchers. 

Monday, May 29, 2017

Memorial Day Reflections

Was thinking about this yesterday and thought, "What does this day mean to me personally?" I have some distant relatives currently serving or who recently served in Air Force and in the medical service of those in battle. 

But when I try to think about who has been closest to me that's been the most effected by the military it's my grandpa and my friend Andy. 

My Grandpa was a stern man. He meant well, but expressed little. He had served in World War 2, was wounded in his leg and got a metal plate put in, and received a purple heart. 

It's hard for me to fathom him being in the midst of a war with bombs going off and guns firing all around. It would scare me to death to be in that place -my hair would turn white overnight. 

And yet he alongside many brave men fought and returned home to raise a family and carry on. 

The other person I know is Andy. I met Andy back in 2011. He's a 50-something year old who's usually pretty funny. But he gave a speech once about his dad who served in the Vietnam War and died. From Andy I learned that the American Flag is sacred to some. It's not just a symbol for a nation -it has come to represent far more. The only thing you're left to cling to when you're father's life has passed. 

So I ask myself what is really "sacrificed" by those in the military.

From what I've seem some lose their lives, but others lose themselves. They are lost to a hardened, rigid mindset that has trouble letting go of the past and tapping back into the peace within the soul. They lose sleep over haunting visions of terrors. They lose time genuinely connecting and reconnecting with those around them. They lose mental stability and sense of place. 

It's hard for someone who's come to the brink of death knowingly -with the willingness to let go of this life entirely -to return back to civilian life and take up a job in a cubicle. That readjustment has been named as the greatest struggle by many. 

So much is given. 

And at the end of the day the worst that is taken is what is given to soldiers when they are ordered to kill and forced to take human life that's innocent. To kill a child. To bomb a hospital. To destroy the lives of families because they were told and those making the calls "got it wrong this time..." To place blood and the slaughter of civilians on the hands of those pledging their lives to fight an enemy -not families -is one of the gravest pieces of the soul taken by those who serve. 

Wars weren't intended to be that caviler and careless. They can lead to the lives of soldiers and those who serve being taken, buy they can also lead to the lives of the innocent being ripped from this world as well. 

So celebrate and honor the honorable. But never defend the deplorable. Treat the flag with respect -whatever it represents to you remember that for some it has become a sacred symbol that represents the lives of loved ones lost. 

And if you genuinely seek to support the troops -donate to nonprofits and causes that take them in when they return home and seek to make them whole again. The wounds within are the hardest to heal and they harden souls that were intended to breath freely in this life. 

And never support regimes and governments and systems and leaders and advocates and individuals who treat human life -both the lives of soldiers and the civilians of foreign countries - as if they had no value in this life and were entirely expendable without thought or consequence. 

Friday, May 19, 2017


If an angel were appearing to you, but physically you couldn't perceive it, how would God get that message to you that it was happened? 

Apparently through spiritual images made with that line of sight rather than spiritual sight alone: 

by Julie Dillon

Balance: Living Out Christianity

It's hard being a Christian sometimes. It's hard being religious/spiritual in general sometimes where the external world is concerned. 

But as someone who's Christian you come across these issues no one ever talks about. I don't mean the delusion of being persecuted by a Starbucks cup. I mean other things. 

#1 Going to a new church you've never been to before. 
How do you know it's no like Westboro Baptist? 
How do you know it's not "Though shalt burn!!!" in its rhetoric? 
What if you show up there and everyone has torches and pitch forks and you're empty handed? 

#2 Christian Groups + Jobs
When someone invites you to a Christian group or you seek out a potential job at Christian non-profit you feel like you want to know ahead of time concerns for Issue#1, but also whether they speak of religion more or live out spirituality more. Or whether there's a balance. 

#3 Too Christiany or Not Christiany Enough 

I get this one the most actually. Around people who either aren't Christian or "not very Christian", sometimes I seem too Christian. People either look at you like you're a potential bigot/Westboro-goer or they think you're going to try to convert them. Or they just think it's weird your that spiritual or believe in Jesus. 

Then there's opposite that happens when you're around devout Christians who start referring to the people who are either atheist, agnostic, not that spiritual, or of a different faith as "Non-Christians" -as if you're only one of 2 options: Christian or Not. And they start talking about them as if they were some sub-human set of people like, "Do you ever hangout with non-Christians?" And immediately I think 2 things: 

1. "You mean other human beings? Yah I hangout with them?" 
2. "Am I only supposed to hangout with devout Christians?... Yah that's not happening..." 

And I feel lost. 

#4 Feeling lost 

I'm too Christiany for some people, 

not Christiany enough for others, 

I take other beliefs into consideration outside of Christianity -does that disqualify me?, 

I don't know the Bible backwards forwards and upside down but some of the people I've met that do have utterly and completely missed the main points which I seem to understand somehow, 

I believe God is vast and complex and amazing and in everything and cannot be confined to a singular book or doctrine, 

I know I have been led to understand what I do and one of those understandings is that organized religion is a blessing because of those who bless others with wisdom and compassion and a curse by those who curse others with hatred and inflicted pains, 
and I'm too spiritual and too religious and not enough of both. 

I just want Peace. 
But God also brings me Joy and leads me to Love. 
And I come to Understand. 

And that's about it. 

My Own Flag

May 17th was a day set aside for recognizing abuses against LGBT members the world over. And for the first time ever, somebody posted the Bisexual flag and I'd never seen ti before -and neither had they:

And as a color-oriented artist, this got me thinking: Why those colors? What does it mean? 

And the Asexual flag is:

Especially since I'm A+Bi-Sexual (working my way through the alphabet apparently), I kind of decided to make a flag of my own. 

So I started with the color white -which for me is the absence of lust/sexual desire/sexual attraction which represents my asexuality. 

Then I went to put the color pink and blue in there to represent my attraction to men and women and decided -that's not really what it is. You're never really straight AND gay -you're always simultaneously both. When you're attracted to a man the ability to be attracted to women doesn't exactly go away and stop existing. It's never men or women -it's always both. It's an attraction to both. So I combined the colors pink/purple and blue and got Indigo -which is neither blue nor purple and Always both. A hybrid. 

I then put in symbols for man and woman and the upside down pyramid and spade which are affiliated with asexuality. 


I don't know why more flags don't incorporate symbols instead of just colors. 

Anyways, I feel better having my own flag -I think everyone should feel free to make their own. Even straight people. Your attraction and orientation are unique to you. It's not some generic template, there are inevitably going to be things you;re drawn to that others aren't. 

For me, attraction all comes down to soul. I don't care about the packaging, I'm drawn to qualities both men and women carry within them -like caring, honesty, empathy, and divinity. 

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Too Many Blogs 1 -Spiritual: Philosophy

Thank God I'm organized. I've got 4 pages worth of blog prompts and no desire to write them out. 

One day many years from now I'm going to get snowed in randomly for 3 months and feel an over-whelming urge to write day and night until everything is typed up. 

I have NEW categories for my blogs. And this in addiction to the other 4 to 5 pages of previous blog prompts I gave up on writing when I started a new blog-idea Word document. 

I hate typing my thoughts, it's so much easier to think them, pat myself on the back, and jot down 2 sentences worth of what was just covered in summary. 

So to crack down on some of these; I'm just going to write out 7 simpler/shorter thoughts that have accrued in the category now titled "Spiritual: Philosophy". 

#1 Thought sin Christ + Mary 

This thought occurred to me while waking up one morning about a week ago. It was around Mother's Day, so maybe that's why it came up since it kind of bothered me that Mary is never fully acknowledged on this day as I feel she should be. Praise to Doreen Virtue for stepping in:

Anyway, the thought that occurred to me was: Mary as a soul came from God/Christ and Christ was within Mary physically. 

In other words: "Mary was of Christ and Christ was of Mary". 
I just thought it was a beautiful and kind of remarkable sort of symmetry. 

#2 "Every day is an opportunity for kindness waiting to happen." 
Was at the grocery store with my dad and there was a woman behind us with only 2 items and we had a whole cart full. My dad didn't see her but the woman was wandering from aisle to aisle looking for the quickest check-out option. I tapped my dad and said, "We should let her through." My dad's always been polite to strangers so he immediately saw and KNEW. He said, "Of course! Please come in front of us, no problem!" 

It's weird to say that moment felt "fated" but it did. It occurred to me: Maybe every day has opportunities for kindness hidden throughout that we're meant to find and breathe life to.  

#3 Life about Self v. Life with God 
I keep getting led back to the understanding that Greed, Egotistical Selfishness, and Apathy towards others is the deepest, inter-related problem we have to contend with on this planet. It's the root of just about any kind of pain or world issue you can name. 

And when people get absorbed with SELF alone they shrink within themselves, their line of sight becomes blinded, and they end up suffering and lashing out at other people. But when people take in God, faith, understanding, patience, and peace they are extended within themselves and beyond themselves. It's the difference between existing in a cubicle verses the great expanse of nature. 

Life about self = Soap Opera Drama. Life with God = Amazing

#4 Each Person is Sacred 
This thought hit me -not just in concept but I felt and understood it within. That I should look at each person as a lighted soul within. A sacred being. A statue of Christ. A Temple of worship. That the outer and internal negativity people degrade themselves to would not cover the eternal. Especially if people are being mean/uncaring towards you. 

#5 Positive, Spiritual Groups
Was drawn again to a spiritual, mostly-women's group. And I though, "WHY do I keep getting drawn to women's groups and spiritual groups? I don't like groups that much..." 

And it occurred to me: When I'm in those kinds of groups I receive positive, spiritual influence of others and that contributes to what I'll call spiritual protection and support. It's almost a spiritual necessity to meet up in groups like that -they build up and contribute to your soul and its connection to God the way a cell tower helps phones get a better signal. 

#6 Healing + Prayer Over Wounded Places 
I've talked about this before, but one day it would be great if groups of people could hold "marches" where they went to places of wounding (like the South where slavery was enacted) and pray over the massacres, the mass shootings, the torture, the lynchings, the wars fought, the children buried, the death camps, the concentration camps, the internment camps, the lands of mass genocide... Everywhere pain had been inflicted in the past and in the present and bring these places healing through prayer and candle light vigils. 

#7 Journey to Love 
They say the journey to really discovering love begins with loving yourself. But in reality, the journey doesn't usually play out that way. 
-The first kind of love you come to know is family + friends. 
-Then romantic partners or romantic interests
-Then Self at some point 
-Then for a lot of people they discover love of God
-Then lastly -and it is almost always lastly -people discover a love for the world and everyone in it  

For me the order was: God, Family + Friends, Self, World, Romantic Interests... but that's because I'm weird and my life has never been normal. :) 

Ultimately you realize it all comes fro God and is a part of God in varying ways so ultimately it all goes back up and beyond into the everything that is God. 

#8 A phrase that came to mind 

"Love. What there is to fight for.

Pain. The fight itself. 

Soul. The liberation of overcoming everything, returning to everything, and becoming everything." 

Monday, May 15, 2017

Why Blue

Good news, I finally figured out why the color blue kept coming up -and even rainbows to a good extent. 

Was passing by a hallway on my way to the bathroom at a spiritual center and passed by a series of artwork someone made involving the chakras. 2 pieces stood out in particular: 

*Art by Diane Wright

The blue really stood out to me and I was drawn to them the most. But wasn't sure which chakras they were. I knew one was Throat/Speak Truth chakra -but not the other one. 

So today I looked into it and discovered some things. 

#1 Here are the chakras and another chart someone did one spiritual growth:

#2 Throat Chakra = Turquoise and Third Eye = Indigo (which explains why the color blue keeps coming up for me since I tend to hail in these 2 chakras in general). 

#3 I was being shown the rainbow over and over and drawn to it to make me focus on CHAKRAS which are known for culminating in a rainbow. Rainbow = Pay attention to your chakras. 

#4 My favorite colors have always been Blue, Purple, and Green -in that order, which kind of speaks to where I'm at spiritually. 

-Spiritual perception and vision = Most Resonating 
-Divine Connection to Peace and Heaven = Second Resonating 
-Experiencing Love and Compassion = Third Resonating 

My original interpretation of the colors had more to do with emotions or essence. 

Blue  = Calm, tranquil, relaxed, deep, mysterious 
Purple = Elegance and Artistry 
Green = Love of Nature 

For me White -my 4th favorite color -represented Spirit and Innocence 

And Black -my 5th favorite color -had more to do with all the colors coming together as one 

But as it turns out the colors have a lot to do with chakras and which ones you tend to connect to the most. 

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Moving Out of Cocoon Phase

I've seen this twice now:

But for me it's a little bit different. There are the "maturity" phases that a person goes through (like being a fan of a boy band at 12 years old). But then there's this other kind of "phase" which speaks more to what's happening with me now. 

Once you've moved out of past phases of maturity you reach a new kind of phase which has more to do with thriving, bursting out, and blossoming and then incubating, secluding, and reflecting and then back to re-emerging, thriving, blossoming. 

It's like being a butterfly phoenix that reaches a zenith/peak and then wilts back into itself that it might transform again into something greater and new. 

I note the times in my life that I thrived and it was after the age of 23 or 24 when I genuinely came to understand myself. You can't really claim it before that time because you're still trying to figure life out in a lot of ways and not living it as much when you don't know who you are. 

So right now I'm at peace with being in "cocoon" phase. It's a phase of patience and waiting -as it was when I was around the age of 24. Not much changes or happens. I draw more. I write more. I reflect on things incessantly. I grow. But I don't spring into action and put myself out in the world much. 

But I KNOW -not just because it's happened before but because I understand this to be true -that I'm intended for great things and a new manifestation of life in a new way. A change. 

Sometimes I wonder about the future because I try to be open to the possibilities. Then this happens. 

Step 1. Tell yourself you're open to the possibilities
Step 2. DREAM. Of just about everything you would ever possibly want to be or do. 
Step 3. Seriously start to doubt that any of it is possible 
Step 4. Remind yourself GOD is possible. Get humble. Recalculate. 
Step 5. Don't know what the hell the future is going to bring. 

So I listen. And I wait. And I try to relax and remember it's in God's timing and it will be amazing in ways I haven't foreseen. 

Drew this card yesterday which helped a lot: 

Yesterday was a day of action. I did a lot and by mid-day felt very fulfilled and accomplished. Granted most of what I did consisted of cleaning the house, but it still seemed to be energizing and motivating. 

Then again today it was a time for taking it easy, breathing, feeling free, healing, and overcoming worry. 

I know that the time is coming to pop into the world again and contribute greatly. My greatest challenge is trying to Control the ability to see what's coming and the circumstances I'm in. It's hard to let go of the illusion of certainty and acknowledge you're in the unknown and just need to accept it. 

But today at church there were some helpful examples of people who emerged out of their cocoon phase and finally found themselves on their truly intended path. 

A woman named Lissa Rankin was a doctor/surgeon overworked, tired, and burned out after years of working in a hospital. She wanted to be a healer but that industry can turn you into a machine. So she quit in spite of being in debt, paying of student loans, and having a mortgage to pay. She went through cocoon phase which involved drawing, blogging, and attempting to write some books. Then she realized that HEALING was still her calling and that you can't quit your calling. She ended up finding a great group that focused on helping doctors find work-life balance and spiritual connection to themselves and patients. She ended up publishing some books and is thriving now. 

Another man had followed his father's footsteps and become a minister. But after a decade of working in his church couldn't bring himself to do it anymore because he felt like he was lying to people. He hated telling people they had sinned before they were born and that God wanted people to burn in Hell. So he left. He went through cocoon phase. He worked as a salesman and at one point was a therapist. Then he came across a church that deeply inspired him and led him to return to his true calling. He ended up becoming a minister again and finally found a faith that allowed him to tell people about the wonder of God and the joys of Heaven available to any that sought it. 

The message of today was to not see changes in life as threats, but as a opportunities to enact your true divinity. To step into a life that's more meaningful.