Wednesday, February 29, 2012

my birthday

February 27th.

I had trouble when I woke up that morning. I felt a strange feeling I'd normally only experienced at my mom's house. I just remember the first thing I experienced when I woke up was a familiar/ weird feeling. I felt my body go numb -not parts of it going numb like it fell asleep, or numb from cold, but a numb where my body "feels hazy". I tried shaking it off, but my body insisted on feeling numb. Unlike my mom's house, I felt calm and almost blanketed by the feeling. I just laid in bed and embraced it. After about 15 minutes the feeling went way and I got up for work. I usually attribute those sorts of experiences to when my soul becomes more prominent and my body becomes more distant. I fade out physically and it just feels like I am a presence of humming. It's just reverberations and no edge or concrete sense of self.

I have experienced this before and a couple times it has been followed by a sinking feeling like I am spinning downward inside myself or the bed is drowning me in a swirl. I'll lay their still while this is going on afte I give up trying to shake it off. The sinking feeling didn't happen this time, but I did think it was really weirder than usual that any of it occurred at all Monday morning. I figured it had something to do with my birthday, but only God knows what i meant.

Then that night I made the mistake of drinking a cafe mocha at 7pm. Couldn't fall alseep until 11:30pm. I was so tired and wired. But then as my eyes were slipping down and my consciousness began to drift I felt an ominous feeling. I became aler again, and even frightnened. I debated getting up altogether, but I figured I was just being randomly paranoid and it would go away. It felt like someone was in the room. My back was to the doorway, but it felt like someone was behind me. I got really nervous and concerned. Random feelings like that don't just happen. I usually only experience that at my mom's house, and it just came out of the blue from nothing. I was afraid to fall asleep -knowing the fact that I have had sleep paralysis and it is often triggered in that half-awake, half-alseep state. So I made sure I was perfectly conscious while I was sensing whatever had triggered my fear and the sense that something bad was there. I finally got up after 10 minutes and went on the computer. I gave up on it because my eyes hurt and were falling asleep on me, so I went back to bed. I finally managed to fall asleep.

I don't know why I was experiencing crap all of the sudden on my birthday. Nothing has happened since. Not much had happened before for a long time. It's just weird.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Biased Media

A lot of people say the media is Liberal and biased.

Others say only some stations and channels are biased and it's towards Conservatives.

I say they both wrong, because they're both right.

From a Conservative point of view the media, in general, is Liberal or "pushing a Liberal agenda".
For instance:

The Academy Awards ad the Oscars -which award actors and film writers/directors of the highest quality- purposely have people like Jon Stewart and Ricky Gervais host knowing they are comedians who tend to be Liberal and avoid playing it safe.

Glee and other popular shows like Simpsons, Once Upon a Time, The Office, House... involve gays, teens having premarital relations, and other "controversial" topics.

Even the News is considered bias by Conservatives, who seem to prefer Fox "fair and balanced" view.

So really everything we hear in the media -be it TV, movie, news, magazines, or music- is Liberal. Only a few channels are considered to be Conservative: Bill O'Reilly, Fox News, CNN.

So which is better?

Well Conservative TV for the most part is boring because it's basically just the News. If Conservatives tried to make a TV show that upheld all of their virtues and principles it wouldn't reflect all of life and therefore it would be harder for many many people to relate to. It would be pure idealism and little-to-no reality. Because life is not Conservative. People are gay and teens do sleep around and people do drugs and affairs do happen. Life is messy and complicated and if you try to ignore those things and keep them out of your programming people will think you are trying to sugar-coat and gloss-over life. And even trying to make a show that portrays these things in a negative light would alienate people ho would feel judgement was being passed over society. People love to judge and give opinions, but no one likes to be judged or have opinions made against them. A show like that would never succeed.

Ultimately Conservative mindset is harder for a wider range of people to relate to because it is more restricted. Liberalism on the other hand can include many different cultures, perspectives, activities, beliefs, and situations. And when it comes to success in the media those who are Inclusive always do far better than those who are Exclusive.

Then of course their politics.
When it comes to matters of finance and business -I tend to side with Conservatives/ Republicans. My dad and step-mom are wealthier and are far more in tuned with economics than many middle-income families I know. It seems like people who make less money are always griping at the government for being biased towards the wealthy and corporations. But my dad's side of the family is more mentally-focused on the subject and react less with emotion and more with reasoning. They say that if corporations and businesses are supported and given more financial support then they can hire more people, invest in more things, and the economy will grow -including mom and pop shops. They say that if they lowered taxes on stocks for instance, more people regardless of their income would buy stocks and invest in companies and industries would then be better off. So when it comes to finances I trust conservatives because those I've met who know how economics works tend to support Republicans' ideas for finances.

But when it comes to social and environmental issues, I tend to side more with Liberals/Democrats. Liberal mindset is what has freed us from old "traditions" and ways of thinking. It wasn't exactly the Republicans who wanted to end slavery or grant women the right to vote... Society is constantly evolving and progressing. A lot of that is do to advances made in science, human understanding, education, and medicine. We can't ignore new revelations and truths when they come to us. We shouldn't ignore or erase values -that's not what progress is about -but we also shouldn't prevent ourselves from achieving new virtues in society that others hold us back from because they ignorantly call them vice.

Conservatives and Republicans often do bring some good perspectives on various social issues. They are the balance that prevents us from losing site of what others would say doesn't matter. Liberals act more on spirituality and compassion -and these things are needed, but we also need to be tempered by doctrine and duty.

Religion in politics is tricky. There's a reason Church and State are separate. But it does get hard to remove religion completely because what is politics? Politics is a word that regards the government and those serving in it. It's people. And often people cannot remove themselves from their religion. They can downplay their beliefs maybe, but at some point a line will be drawn in the sand denoting how far a man can go before he has to stand up for his beliefs -especially with regard to God. If a politician, or any man in any job for that matter, feels like his core religious values and beliefs are being compromised he is compelled say something.

Then problems arise because it's multiple religions being defended while also trying to respect the religious views of others and remain objective in establishing laws and governing people. And people who aren't religious will always fear those in politics and government who are because they are constantly reminded the abuses our nation and others have done unto their people when the government used religion as an excuse to justify wrongful acts.

This is wher Liberals/Democrats come in. When religion is used as an excuse to do evil and Duty is turned into sin, only compassion and empathy can guide people back to what is truly right. If the government compromises its integrity, people's internal instincts towards doing good will set them back on track.

Liberals want rights to be granted equally to all people.

Conservatives don't want rights to be granted to those that do not uphold the ideals humans have a divine duty to follow.

Both are needed.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Theme: Mountains


I saw the movie on Monday. It was... intense. That's what I say about movies that were well made, but not happy-go-lucky. In fact I'd say that all movies based on true events that occurred during the 1600-1800s in Europe are always intense and disturbing.

I'm glad I live in this era. Technology and advances made in the fields of science, medicine, psychology, and compassion have made the past look like a bleak road human history once wandered. Society during the Renaissance was tragic and confusing -and they considered it to be there "Golden Era"...

So after King Henry VIII dumped the Catholic church for not letting him divorce his wife so he could remarry Anne Boleyn- who he then cheated on and beheaded- his daughter Elizabeth I got the thrown. Also not being a big fan of the Catholic church she proclaimed the Angelican Church of England and Puritanism to be the main religion.

Why does this matter? Well according to Puritan religion at the time (and therefore law) it was a sin to write, act in, or watch plays. Today it would be like someone saying it is immoral and therefore illegal to direct, star in, or watch a movie. They claimed that plays were sins because it was "worshipping false idols".

False Idols? What the f... ????

I could see people arguing that point now by saying Actors are worshipped as "idols" by adoring fans more than they should be -but even that's a stretch. No one worships actors or movie directors in a religious or spiritual sense. They are admired and commended by people who appreciate their work, but they are not considered to be "sacred". No one worships Shakespeare like a god. The term "idol" has changed from its original connotation and today it simply mean to look up to and admire someone or something for its talents and virtues. It does not mean to devote worship to them like people use to do golden cows...

Because of the sin of writing plays was off the table, people who had a reputation to uphold -dukes, earls, and royalty- could not be associated with plays. Queen Elizabeth was known to "sin" occasionally and watch play presented to her, but no other wealthy landowner could afford to take that kind of risk. The only people ultimately allowed to write and see plays were commoners who nobody cared about -aka poor poets and those who had no name of value or lineage to honor.

Poets and writers of plays were therefore commonly illiterate to some extent because they were not presented with a formal education like those who could afford one would be. Their stories and plays were therefore common and lacked creativity and depth.

Then suddenly and mysteriously despite his lack of education and the fact he had only ever acted in plays -William Shakespeare's writings came out of nowhere to amaze growing audiences who would flock to watch his works. After a few short years of renowned play after play he then returned to his home village and spent the rest of his days as a businessman selling grains.

How is it someone who was undereducated who was not known for his writing suddenly became the best known playwright of all time?

The movie reveals that there was a well educated earl who loved to write and admire beauty and love -aka a Libra- who was forbidden from writing plays by other statesmen because it would bring disgrace to his name and his family. But much like Oscar Wilde, the soul driving force that was his nature prevented him from ignoring is talents.

Along with not being able to write his plays he was also prevented from marrying whoever he chose to love. He was forced into an arranged marriage with a young girl who had a crush on him. The earl then chose to rebel in his own way by having multiple affairs and ignoring his wife.

Finally the earl decided to have the name of a commoner take his works and see them turned into reality. Shakespeare took all the credit, but the earl had written everything.

Then because Queen Elizabeth I was a slut and slept around having tons of illegitimate children but no husband, King James of Scotland ended up inheriting the English throne. James reinstated Catholicism and picked on the Puritans. His reign is the reason the
Puritans left for America seeking religious freedom from persecution.

I don't know how people lived in those days. Arranged marriages between 13 year old girls and 50 year old men legally contracted to produce a male heir. Plague, famine, disease... Religious doctrine turned law. Social stratification based on wealth and hereditary descendants.

The higher your social rank the less freedom you have.

The lower your social rank the lower your quality of life.

Only the middle class- if there could be said to be one- found a decent way of life.

And to think they almost lost one of the greatest writers of their time and all time because of their backwards way of manipulating people into socially conforming to rules they invented to ensure the rich maintained their wealth and prestige. No wonder religion gets such a bad name.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

C.S. Lewis

A commencement speech given by C. S. Lewis
edited by hitRECordJoe
original version here
The Inner RingBy C. S. Lewis
When you invite a middle-aged moralist to address you, I suppose I must conclude, however unlikely the conclusion seems, that you have a taste for middle-aged moralizing. I shall do my best to gratify it. And of course everyone knows what a middle-aged moralist of my type warns his juniors against. He warns them against the World, the Flesh, and the Devil. But one of this trio will be enough to deal with today. The Devil, I shall leave strictly alone.  As for the Flesh, you must be very abnormal young people if you do not know quite as much about it as I do. But on the World I think I have something to say.
You have almost certainly already met the phenomenon of an Inner Ring. You discovered one in your house at school before the end of the first term. And when you had climbed up to somewhere near it by the end of your second year, perhaps you discovered that within the ring there was a Ring yet more inner, which in its turn was the fringe of the great school Ring to which the house Rings were only satellites. It is even possible that the school ring was almost in touch with a Masters’ Ring. You were beginning, in fact, to pierce through the skins of an onion. And here, too, at your University—shall I be wrong in assuming that at this very moment, invisible to me, there are several rings—independent systems or concentric rings—present in this room? And I can assure you that in whatever hospital, inn of court, diocese, school, business, or college you arrive after going down, you will find the Rings.
All this is rather obvious. I wonder whether you will say the same of my next step, which is this. I believe that in all men’s lives at certain periods, and in many men’s lives at all periods between infancy and extreme old age, one of the most dominant elements is the desire to be inside the local Ring and the terror of being left outside.
Often the desire conceals itself so well that we hardly recognize the pleasures of fruition. Men tell not only their wives but themselves that it is a hardship to stay late at the office or the school on some bit of important extra work which they have been let in for because they and So-and-so and the two others are the only people left in the place who really know how things are run. But it is not quite true. It is a terrible bore, of course, when old Fatty Smithson draws you aside and whispers, “Look here, we’ve got to get you in on this examination somehow” or “Charles and I saw at once that you’ve got to be on this committee.” A terrible bore… ah, but how much more terrible if you were left out! It is tiring and unhealthy to lose your Saturday afternoons: but to have them free because you don’t matter, that is much worse.
I must now make a distinction. I am not going to say that the existence of Inner Rings is an Evil. It is certainly unavoidable. There must be confidential discussions, and it is not only a bad thing.  It is, in itself, a good thing, that personal friendship should grow up between those who work together. It is necessary. But the desire which draws us into Inner Rings is another matter. A thing may be morally neutral and yet the desire for that thing may be dangerous. Let Inner Rings be unavoidable and even an innocent feature of life, though certainly not a beautiful one; but what of our longing to enter them, our anguish when we are excluded, and the kind of pleasure we feel when we get in?
My main purpose in this address is simply to convince you that this desire is one of the great permanent mainsprings of human action. It is one of the factors which go to make up the world as we know it—this whole pell-mell of struggle, competition, confusion, graft, disappointment and advertisement, and if it is one of the permanent mainsprings then you may be quite sure of this. Unless you take measures to prevent it, this desire is going to be one of the chief motives of your life, from the first day on which you enter your profession until the day when you are too old to care. That will be the natural thing—the life that will come to you of its own accord. Any other kind of life, if you lead it, will be the result of conscious and continuous effort. If you do nothing about it, if you drift with the stream, you will in fact be an “inner ringer.” I don’t say you’ll be a successful one; that’s as may be. But whether by pining and moping outside Rings that you can never enter, or by passing triumphantly further and further in—one way or the other you will be that kind of man.
The quest of the Inner Ring will break your hearts unless you break it. But if you break it, a surprising result will follow. If in your working hours you make the work your end, you will presently find yourself all unawares inside the only circle in your profession that really matters. You will be one of the sound craftsmen, and other sound craftsmen will know it. This group of craftsmen will by no means coincide with the Inner Ring or the Important People or the People in the Know. It will not shape that professional policy or work up that professional influence which fights for the profession as a whole against the public: nor will it lead to those periodic scandals and crises which the Inner Ring produces. But it will do those things which that profession exists to do and will in the long run be responsible for all the respect which that profession in fact enjoys and which the speeches and advertisements cannot maintain.
And if in your spare time you consort simply with the people you like, you will again find that you have come unawares to a real inside: that you are indeed snug and safe at the centre of something which, seen from without, would look exactly like an Inner Ring. But the difference is that the secrecy is accidental, and its exclusiveness a by-product, and no one was led thither by the lure of the esoteric: for it is only four or five people who like one another meeting to do things that they like. This is friendship. Aristotle placed it among the virtues. It causes perhaps half of all the happiness in the world, and no Inner Ring can ever have it.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Spiritualist and the Psychic Part 4 (2/10/12)

Speaking to the Dead.

This was frightening actually. My friend and I were talking about it the other day. We accidentally got into another Harry Potter debate (consequently if I can find someone who has thoroughly read all 7 books and I re-watch all 7 movies and Harry engages in nothing that can be concretely linked to actual witchcraft I can gain Harry clemency and clear his good name). And so today I actually wrote this topic down as one of the things I was going to write about in my blog. Then I was going through Nancy and Sheila’s book and came across the words: Speaking to the dead. It hit the topic on the head, dead center. It freaked me out a little.

Anyway, my friend takes the notion of talking to the dead on any level as “delving with spirits and demons”. He says you are not supposed to communicate with anything that is dead or undead. I agree with this for the most part.

Agree: Communicating with the paranormal is, again, opening a door that other negative entities can come through. At best, it would still keep loved ones and people you trust who had passed away more Earthbound than they should be. Those people are suppose to let go and crossover. It’s almost cruel to ask a loved one to leave heaven so they can hold your hand through your life struggles. There are people here who are alive that you can reach out to. There are too many risks involved with reaching out to spirits, and many people abuse that kind of contact anyway.

Disagree: Communicating with dead loved ones who try and reach out just to let you know they are there is not immoral or wrong. If the deceased members of your family or your friends try to make their presence known to you, you can acknowledge it. I still wouldn’t openly communicate with them constantly or openly, but if you are 100% certain it is your loved one, what daughter wouldn’t embrace her mother’s presence after she had just passed away? It’s not wrong, but like grief it is something to eventually be let go of and moved on from. Those moments are meant to be rare and precious, not frequently sought after.

Sheila and Nancy also talk about funerals and visiting cemetery plots. Both agree the soul is gone by the time the funeral is had and if they are around they don’t enjoy pr benefit anything from seeing their body buried in the dirt. However it does help the living get closure from the death of a loved one. The ceremony is really for the living to move on, not the dead. Sheila actually believes the soul gains nothing from having its body put in a casket. She had her father cremated –but only after 3 days. She says the soul should have 3 days to transition and let go of its body completely before you cremate it.

Both Nancy and Sheila say they hate funeral services because they are too regimented. The services afterwards however often provide a way for family and friends to share stories about the recently deceased and it paints a clearer, more complete picture of that person’s life. Nancy says visiting graves of loved ones also helps her pay her respects to those she cares about who are no longer on this earth.

Sheila says she doesn’t like or believe in the concept of “saints”. She says that it is strange that some people are chosen to be “saints” even though millions have done great works throughout history. She says in heaven all souls are saints.

Sheila’s last thoughts shared in the book include the experience of a daughter losing her father. Being a 23 year old daddy’s girl myself, this has always been a particular fear of mine. I worry. My mom’s death will be far easier than my dad’s. I’ve always been closer to my dad and I’ve seen all of the sacrifices he has made for my sister and I and he has fought more for us to be in his life than any other dad I’ve seen. Seeing him grow weak and become dependent on my sister and me for support will be hard. That may be the hardest death I will ever have to endure - second only to the death of my two sisters.

Sheila also reminds people not to feel regret if you aren’t there the moment they pass away. The person passing knows you want to be there with them. They feel no anger or resentment on the Other Side. They understand we will all meet up again eventually. Love is selfless. Without it people become cold and empty. In heaven and in death we reach love in its pure state. But in life we need to grow and expand as souls. “Steel is nothing until put into the flame and beaten into shape”.

The Spiritualist and the Psychic Part 3 (2/10/12)

Nancy says that after her father died her son, who was 3 or 4 at the time walked up to her while she was folding laundry. He looked right up at Nancy put his hands on his hips and said, “You know what?” “Nancy was a little distracted, but responded back, “What?” Then he said with a very matter-of-fact tone, “Nonno isn’t sad anymore and he’s in the clouds dancing with grandma.” Then he turned and sauntered off.

Nancy says that her son Jeff has said some surprising things to her like that as a child. She said that she and her husband had tried for years to have kids. She kept having miscarriages and eventually gave up. Nancy was Jeff’s god-mother. When Jeff’s parents died in a car accident, Nancy adopted him as her own son. One day while she was sitting with him on the couch he looked up at her with his big brown eyes and said, “I tried so many times to get here. I kept trying to find you and get to you. It took so long.” It’s pretty remarkable that boy that young would understand notions of reincarnation let alone come up with them on his own. He had not been exposed to the concept by his parents and Nancy sheltered him from her psychic friend and her notions of spirituality for fear that he would be too young to understand them and he would wind up spiritually confused.

Nancy says loss gives gifts. Loss gives you knowledge of true spiritual reunions with loved ones to come. It allows you to appreciate present life and know what really matters. She says isolation withers the soul. We need other people and souls need to come together. They gather strength from each other. Nancy says: never act like you know everything, but always believe you have the tools to achieve knowledge.

Sheila mentions a story of a boy she met in high school who was an atheist. She told him, “All things come from God”. He said he didn’t know if that was true. Later in life that boy grew up, got married, and had kids of his own. Although he was a lawyer he still liked hanging out with Sheila, even though she was more open about being psychic at that point. Sheila says that despite his loving family and his successful career she could tell he wasn’t happy. She says that his soul was “buried” and he was afraid of showing it and connecting to it because he didn’t want to take on the responsibility of holding himself accountable to it. He feared God and what developing his soul would imply.

Sheila told his wife that she could see his light fading. A year later he was diagnosed with cancer. It was then that he decided, gee maybe I should look into this whole soul thing. Sheila was kind of pissed that it was only because he was dying that he suddenly decided to take an interest in his soul even tough he had ignored her discussions about it for years.

When he was in the hospital struggling with the pain he asked Sheila what he should do to “crossover”. She knew he had enjoyed being an airplane pilot, so she told him: Imagine you are on a runway gaining speed and preparing to take off. Take 3 deep breaths and then feel yourself become uplifted to the light. An hour later Sheila got a call from his wife saying he had passed away. She said he took three deep breaths and then was gone.

From what I can see and read of Nancy at this point, she reminds me a lot of Sheila’s lawyer friend. Nancy is wealthy, but she isn’t happy. She tries to be, but she isn’t. She seems afraid. She is spiritual and gathers strength from that, but only to put up her shield. Pisces don’t really have shields –Cancers do. They have shells they hide in. Scorpio also has its stingers and its hard outer shell. But Pisces is just a fish. Nancy mentions enjoying being silly and acting like a little kid. She also seems more entrenched by her guarded feelings. I think she’s a skeptical Cancer. She might be a Scorpio, but she has no desire or confidence for business. She isn’t that mentally focused. It’s emotions and spirituality. I blame her second husband. He was a Leo. Leos are wayyyyy too emotionally focused.

The Spiritualist and the Psychic Part 2 (2/10/12)

Sheila’s Theories

“Sheila”, as I’ve decided to call her, is psychic and has many interesting views on what occurs on the spiritual realm and this one.

Sheila believes in past lives and reincarnation. She also believes in heaven and God. She believes souls travel to these two spaces.

Basically when a person dies, they linger –sometimes for years or centuries, but usually only until they “see the light” and “cross over”. Then Sheila believes, with the exception of a few cases, most people go strait to “heaven”. She believes this place to be a place of peace, calm, and a gathering place for souls to reconnect with loved ones. In this place, people remember past lives and reassess how much more and in what ways they need to develop further as souls.

Then they “sign a contract” spiritually with God and map out how they will lead there next life as well as what challenges they will be given in it to overcome. They choose what lessons they will learn and also sometimes who they will share them with. We are essentially thrown together with the same group of people that we are familiar with and like to be around. This is how you can come across somebody you just met and it feels like you’ve known each other for years.

Sheila says that we choose to learn at least 3 major lessons in life and ultimately choose to give 1 major contributing effort to the world or “God’s Vision”. We use our strengths and our “purpose” to fulfill this goal either at some major point in our life or throughout it. We also decide how fast we want to accomplish our goals and how long we want to live on the earth.

She also says we have 5 Exit Points.
At some point in our lives we have a limit of what cats would call our “9 lives”. We have 5 chances to opt-out of life. During each near death experience and we either choose to stay or choose to cross-over. (I tried thinking of mine: almost drowned at the beach and in a pool, almost burned by fire, and the car accident last September. Technically I was saved by people on 2 of those incidents.

Anyway, Sheila says we will “Perfect our Destiny”. As you progress Spiritually your struggles and pain become greater. Loss and Sacrifice are the ultimate stages of learning. Those who have not lived or learned from many lives (young souls) will not take on much pain or responsibility. The ultimate goal in life is to progress spiritually. Those who have passed leave signs and messages to help us so we know they are there.

More things Nancy and I have in common: She feared death at a young age. When she was a teenager, she felt alone and depressed. She feared death because she thought it would be Nothingness. She thought she would be in a state of isolation alone forever.

As far as her paranormal experiences, she has felt cold and warm spots. Her husband also said he “felt the presence” of her mom and actually saw her mom sitting with Nancy once. Nancy has had telepathic conversations with her mom before. Both she and her husband also sensed when her mother had officially crossed over. He said that the house felt empty, like she had left and moved on. Nancy says her mom hasn’t come to her in years.

Sheila says that in order to gain greater spirituality and connection to God you should: At night before bed ask the white light of Holy Spirit to surround you. Ask for angels to be with you. “Begin to visualize a dark velvet sky, and feel the peace of this softness enveloping you. All of a sudden you see a pinpoint of light coming toward you. Then ask for your loved ones to come toward you in that light. Don’t even think or use the word imagination. It is the one word that has ruined psychic ability and visions, and has even inhibited getting closer to God. Your loved ones may first appear in silhouette, but eventually you will see them.

-I would advise against this. It is hard to discern “vision” from “imagination” and it’s best not to allow yourself to blur those lines. You need it to be clear and distinct. If you imagine and believe strongly enough something will appear before you, you’ll probably hallucinate and actually end up “seeing something”. Basically Sheila’s exercise is pointless. Nice try though.

Nancy suggests asking people for help and asking God for spiritual strength and direction. Much better. She also says loved ones on the other side will make their presence known to you in their own way –through scents, “presence”, song, thoughts, or situations to exact to be coincidence.
–When my step-dad’s father died, he was sitting in his garage working on some tools feeling really guilty and angry at himself for not being there when his father passed away. He was emotionally beating himself up when all of the sudden the radio turned on out of nowhere. It just flicked on by itself and started playing a song. He started crying. It was like someone had interrupted his thoughts so he would stop hurting himself with them.

Shelia says that when souls linger it means linger on earth it means they haven’t “made it through the tunnel to vibrate at a higher frequency”. Many religions-especially in the east- place emphasis on the concept of vibration. Sheila says that the earth vibrates at its own rate, but on the Other Side things vibrate at a higher rate of speed. If a soul sticks around the earth too long it runs the risk of becoming Earthbound and it would then be harder for it to move onto the Other Side. “If spirits come around too often they become Earthbound and don’t transition.” Even though it might be a loved one, it’s not fair to have them remain here after they die. You should direct them to move on. Otherwise they can never get closure because their connection to this life continues with no possibility for spiritual growth.

Sheila also addresses the notion people sometimes get that God is “punishing” them. When people die it is not God’s way of purposely making people suffer. People are just done wit this round of life and will move on to heaven. God is not vengeful or spiteful. Sheila also says reincarnation is just a part of the system and a way for souls to come back and progress further as souls. The further you advance as a soul the more joy you are capable of receiving in heaven. Your soul expands in pain and loss, as well as in knowledge and love. You need to resonate with the truth. Love is forever, grief is transient.

She also says the way souls count time on the Other Side is different. Here we are restricted by time, but there, there is no time boundary. 100 years to us is a couple of days to them. And as far as spouses go, “No one can fool the soul. The soul knows who the kindred souls are and who the one soul mate is, so there is no jealousy, or envy, or disharmony.” She says people also debate and discuss things on the other side, but never argue or judge. She says through life the soul will grow in true pride, not false pride and it will go on being reborn until it no longer needs to.

As far as punishment for wrongs done goes: Hell does not exist for humans. Physical suffering is the greatest pain and torment a soul can ever be put through. Trapped in a physical prison it cannot be removed from that is subject to physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual assaults and diseases. Life is Hell for those who deserve to be punished for wrongs done. Sheila says a person who commits suicide out of spite for instance with instantly be reborn. No pit stop to heaven or lingering, it just gets shoved back into the system to start over again. You cannot abort this life of your own will. You can not harm or end the lives of others without getting the spiritual repercussion of being reborn into a new, excruciating life.  

We have come to earth to overcome pain and achieve a state of “bliss”. Every soul, unless it is empty and dark, grows from loss and finds its way to love. Sheila also acknowledges that as souls grow older they start to hate life more. They resent money, work, distractions, stress, pain, responsibilities… and feel more and more “Homesick” for God and heaven. She says it will be hard for those people to live their lives wanting death and it is better that they experience life and focus on fulfilling their purpose.

The Spiritualist and the Psychic Part 1 (2/10/12)

I’d first like to start by making a distinction between the two.

There is an invisible pool most people don’t see. Some people can fall into it by accident, but then they get out and can’t find it again. You can come across spiritual forces by accident, but you can’t stay in the pool if you don’t know where it is.

Then there are Spiritualists. These are people who sense the pool and can sometimes choose to wade in the shallow end of it. They pick up on spiritual forces and have a good sense of intuition –often naturally.

Then there are Psychics –at least the real ones which are few and far between. These people can see the pool. It’s invisible to everyone else, but in there eyes they can see it more clearly than others. These people can, by choice, swim and dive into the deep end.

Spiritualists can become Psychic is they focus on achieving that goal over and extended period of time. Psychics can become Spiritualists or even “normal” if they choose to ignore their gifts.

My friend is a Spiritualist who was friends with a Psychic. She was in between these two states at one point, but has now fallen into the category of Lost Spiritualist. At one point, she and her psychic friend wrote a book that she actually gave to me to read. The Spiritualist is a Pisces (now more like a Cancer since her mother was one) and I was mostly looking to see if there were any similarities between our spiritual beliefs.

The book Nancy wrote was to help herself and others overcome the grieving process. She had lost her mother, father, and her husband. Her psychic friend, who I’ll call Sheila, also had lost loved ones.

The first thing I noticed in Nancy’s writing was her mention of words like: pain, heart, reflections, moments, memories, nature, feeling so deeply, the world, knowledge, path, the sea, plant a seed, transcend, and grief. Those words in general tend to indicate we’re dealing with someone who is focused on Nature, Feelings, The Past, Truth, and Larger Concepts verses Details. She has Water Sign written all over her.

Other things about Nancy we have in common: She believes there is a “greater plan” for people and acknowledges and loves God. She has had experiences with ghosts throughout her life starting at a young age –although her parents told her they didn’t exist because they were Catholic and didn’t believe in them. She loves art –specifically interior design. Her father was born in Egypt so she has always been fascinated by ancient Egypt. She loves the color turquoise and blue. There are times, very often, that she “needs to be alone”. She doesn’t like partying, dating around, going out, being in loud places, or trying to “be social for the sake of appearances”. She’s a home-body and is kind of defensive about it because her more social friends say she’s become a hermit. She says she is intuitive and spiritual, but is somewhat afraid of Christian religious teachings because she was overly-doctrined when she was younger. She loves Buddhism and Hinduism though. She doesn’t believe in Abortion –she’s Pro-life- but she also believes people should have the freedom to make their own choices (my thoughts exactly).

In her book, Nancy mentions feeling like an “orphan” after her parents passed away. I never thought of it like that. Nobody really thinks what it will be like to lose a parent. This mental shift may seem extreme, but I imagine it occurs to lots of people after they’ve lost their parents. Orphan.

“Life forces you to stand up and be strong because it shoves you down making you weak.” It’s a well known concept –what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger- and I think she repeats this ideology and clings to it in the beginning of her book because it’s what helped her overcome the loss and pain of losing her parents. Another way Nancy deals with her grief is by “letting go”. The Serenity Prayer Theorem. Accept what you cannot change and Let it Go.

“Weakness is a strength, not a flaw”. Nancy is guarded about her spirituality and her feelings. When I look at her and she talks about it she reminds me of a little kid that’s been bullied and teased for liking Barney or something. She loves who she is but fears rejection and disapproval so she walls herself up and doesn’t reach out to people because she thinks they won’t understand her. But she knows vulnerability, grace, and emotion are strengths because few people have the courage to show these things openly to others for the same reason she hides them now. She writes her thoughts profoundly, but internally she struggles to live them.

Nancy was closest to her mom. A Cancer mother –there is nothing more nurturing, supportive, or loving than that. And they were both water signs. The two were practically one, connected spiritually, emotionally, and through family. Her dad was much more serious and distant –still loving but less emotional. After her mom passed away, Nancy and her dad grew closer and he softened. Nancy says that when a person you love dies you suffer both emotionally and physically. You feel physically weak, scrambled, and drained. And as far as emotions go –Nancy suggests you be open about them. “Don’t waste time trying to push away your feelings”. She says it’s only sub-missing them and letting them dwell deep within you. It doesn’t solve the problem, it just buries it. When people shove their feelings down, they get cold, apathetic, or even lash out with anger or tears later down the road.

She says you don’t have to be physically strong to be tough. “Sit, breath, and allow your feelings to come –don’t hate yourself for them”. She really stresses contending with emotions and sorting them out because when people don’t they get out of sorts. Nancy also suggests reaching out to dead loved ones through meditation. She says to lie down, let your body fall numb, and listen. She says to try this many times until you feel a “presence”. She says this will be your “spirit guide”.

-This is where our opinions differ a little bit. The Native Americans believed in Spirit Guides that would come to you and tell you things about the future or spiritual truths of the Other Side. But most other native and indigenous tribes do not acknowledge this belief. They believe in connecting to nature spirits and forces to gain insight, but most of that is definitely getting into spirituality that veers from the “right path”. You do NOT talk to nature spirits/ entities/ and beings from the spiritual realm you do not know. You also don’t go out of your way to converse with spirits.

I compare it to walking down a street. You CAN talk to random people you come across, but you WILL at some point run into trouble if a person you talk to is dangerous. Same with spirits. You open that door, anything and anyone can come through. You should NOT go out of your way to communicate with the dead –be it a relative or “spirit guide”. However, if that person is communicating with you and you know who it is or “sense” it well enough to know it is human and means you no harm –then you can communicate with it.

Nancy and her mom are a special case of this. After Nancy’s mom passed away, her mom chose to stay and try to communicate with Nancy. It makes sense. Both she and her mom shared a spiritual connection that only grew stronger spiritually after her mom lost her body and became pure soul. Her mom wanted to stay and make sure her daughter would be alright. Nancy was in a dark state and felt numb, lost, and deeply troubled. Her mom was the only person she had ever connected to spiritually. When she died, Nancy thought she had lost the only meaningful connection she had ever truly had. Her mom gave her signs to show she was still there for her. Then Nancy finally told her mom it was time to go. She told her not to worry about her and to find peace. She said doing that and finally letting go brought a sense of closure and fulfillment to their relationship.

“Grief has a purpose”. Grief allows you to overcome the death of a loved one and find a new way to carry them with you in your life. Don’t try to forget them, remember and appreciate the time you shared with them when they were here. Don’t be afraid to ask others for help and strength when you need it. That’s the only way you’ll create new bonds with people who can fill you with love and hope again.

Monday, February 13, 2012


My friend Alex sent me this email and asked me to retweet it. A girl he knows is into looking up place of birth, time of birth, and date of birth to figure out things about people based on astrology. We'll see what she says about my Aries friend...

This is very  general.
Here it is for now.

he top 3 are the main ones. 
Ascendant - your face (what the world sees)
Sun- the commonly  used sign recognition (the meat and potatoes)
moon- what you give most or need

Here is the Astro Chart you requested:

Hi there, here is the interpretation of the astrological chart that you asked for. Also attached is a .GIF graphic file which depicts your chart wheel. Thank you for visiting the Astrolabe WEB site at This report has been created especially for you. It represents your Unique picture at the time you were born and at the place you were born. If you are unsure of the exact time of day of your birth (or the date or the place), the reading will probably not seem as accurate as it could be in certain places, but other parts will seem to be very appropriate. You will notice at certain places in the reading that contradictory information seems to be given. This is to be expected, because the personality of most people is extremely complex. For example, at times we are quite shy and at other times we are very aggressive, and so forth. You will also notice that, at certain points in the reading, certain patterns may be repeated over and over, especially in a longer more detailed report than this one. This is also to be expected. This simply means that your horoscope has an extremely strong focus on this particular pattern and that you should pay extra close attention to what is said about it. Now, on with your Report!

Name: Twelve
April 12 1978
12:00 PM Time Zone is EST
new hartford, NY

Rising Sign is in 06 Degrees Leo
You love to be the center of attention and you want to appear strong, confident and dominant. You are very proud of yourself, sometimes quite vain even. When all around you are bedraggled and falling apart, you look like a million bucks! Very dignified and honorable, you enjoy the power and privilege, but not the responsibilities, that come with leadership. You are very idealistic but can also be quite stubborn. Others impress you only if they have integrity (but wealth, power and influence can also turn your head). You prefer rich, elegant surroundings and possessions, and will try to acquire them as your budget allows. Physically, you are very impressive - - at your best you have a regal, charismatic demeanor and bearing. Try not to be such a showoff!

Sun is in 22 Degrees Aries.
By nature, you are very energetic and high-spirited. You are fiercely independent -- you must be first in everything you do, and you enjoy taking risks. You are the one who will rush in where angels fear to tread. Quite brilliant at initiating new projects, you are terrible at following them through to completion. You are an enthusiastic leader but you tend to be a reluctant follower. Often you are quick to anger, but you usually recover just as fast, regretting later things you said when you were upset. One of your best traits is that you are simple and direct, blunt and honest -- just be careful you do not hurt others' feelings. Your need to be competitive at all costs may provoke resistance from others, but, as long as you maintain your usual Sunny good humor, this should not prove to be a major problem for you.

Moon is in 21 Degrees Gemini.
Restless in the extreme, you are easily bored because of your short attention span. Your emotions change rapidly and you love to talk about your feelings. Generally, you have good judgment -- your intellect controls your emotions and you do not overreact emotionally to things. A good jack-of-all-trades, you have many- sided interests and enjoy reasoning things through. With your mental agility and need for physical mobility, you are attracted to traveling and learning about other peoples and cultures. You have vivid powers of emotional self-expression - - you can be a nonstop talker. You love to share your ideas with anyone who will listen.

Mercury is in 20 Degrees Aries.
Very quick-witted, you are known for being an independent thinker. You love to debate and argue, and are excellent at repartee and battles of wits. At times, however, you act too fast on hastily formed opinions and thus waste a lot of energy defending your rash and sometimes incorrect conclusions. It is perfectly acceptable for you to defend your beliefs with your usual vigor, but try not to take the opinions of others as personal insults.

Venus is in 12 Degrees Taurus.
You are known to be a warm and affectionate person, and you tend to form long- lasting attachments. The reverse of this is that you can also be quite possessive once you have made a commitment. The beauty, luxury and comfort of your surroundings are important to you and you will devote much time and energy to making your home just right. Beware of your tendency toward self-indulgence, especially with respect to eating incorrectly. You also need outside stimuli to get you in gear When things come too easily for you, you can be lazy and indolent.

Mars is in 00 Degrees Leo.
You are a very proud person. Strong, bold, courageous and self-possessed, you love to be the one to initiate significant actions. When people expect a lot of you, you respond positively and will work hard in order to maintain their respect. But when your dignity or pride is threatened, you tend to become sarcastic, arrogant and domineering. Try not to take any challenge or resistance that you meet as a personal affront. You are very stubborn about your right to live your life according to your own principles.

Jupiter is in 00 Degrees Cancer.
You must be emotionally secure in order to grow and develop. You are happiest when your family and community support and nourish you and boost your morale. Whether your childhood experiences of love and emotional dependability were positive or negative will set the tone for your emotional growth and stability as an adult. When you feel at ease with yourself, you are able to offer assistance to those who need a helping hand.

Saturn is in 23 Degrees Leo.
Extremely self-reliant, you set very high standards of conduct and decorum for yourself, and you expect others with whom you associate to be that way, too. It is important that you had a strong father figure or role model early in life to mold your life course and direction. When you feel that those around you are unworthy or behaving badly, you withdraw, preferring solitude rather than associating with those who might besmirch your reputation.

Uranus is in 15 Degrees Scorpio.
You, and your peer group, demand to confront life at its deepest and most meaningful levels. Very compulsive and obsessive in your approach to everything, you will avoid anything that is casual or superficial, especially when it comes to relationships. You will seek out and explore new methods of healing as well as different ways to deal with deep-seated emotional problems.

Neptune is in 18 Degrees Sagittarius.
You, and your entire generation, are heavily involved in investigating and idealizing foreign and exotic intellectual systems and religious philosophies. The most extreme ideals will be pursued with gusto. You will be at the forefront of humanitarian attempts to improve the lot of those who are in need of assistance. You will be comfortable with the concept of the "global village."

Pluto is in 15 Degrees Libra.
For your entire generation, this is a time of radical changes in society's attitude toward marriage and interpersonal relationships. There is a general fear and awe at the power inherent in making emotional or contractual commitments -- they will not be entered into lightly.

N. Node is in 05 Degrees Libra.
You find it very difficult to be comfortable being alone -- you would much prefer to be in an environment where many people are working together toward common goals. Your charming and sincere approach to others assures your popularity -- you have the gift of being able to ease tensions just by your mere presence. You're the perfect "team player" willing to sacrifice your own importance so that the group goal can be accomplished. Be careful, however, not to become overly dependent on your interactions with others -- you have personal private needs that should not be neglected. 

Sunday, February 12, 2012


I've been worried a lot about money lately. Not in paying bills or earning enough, but the concept of "getting rich". It bugs me and I'm still trying to figure out what my perspective should be with regard to it. It's like trying to line up your white ball with a color and a number on a pool table. You have to make sure your vision is in line with what you're aiming to achieve.

A notion was implanted in my head after my friend Ayu played an audio cd of a man named Zig Ziglar in my car. Ziggy is a well known public speaker and wealthy, successful salesperson. He's pretty on the ball with sharing good tips and advice about how to overcome self-doubt and succeed in life. Zig said that he meets people who tell him, "How can you call yourself a Christian and yet be rich or try to obtain money?" Zig says that he believes God made diamonds for His people, not Satan's.

It was a heavy statement. Evil people have gotten wealthy before and used their fortunes for wrong and immoral acts. And good people have also gotten rich and used their fortunes to embetter the world. I suppose if God had to choose who he would prefer to be rich it would be the Good because the good will do good regardless of how much money they have. Zig says money isn't evil and it isn't cold. But if money becomes your god, then you will lose in life and miss out on things that have true value.

It's a hard mental shift to say that it's ok to have a lot of money. The way I was raised, by my mom, rich people are stuck up, conceited, and spend money frivolously on things they don't need. I did not and do not want to be like that so I rejected the notion of "getting rich" and still have some mental prejudices towards it. But I've also met good people who have lots of money. And I've seen those who give back as much as they've received. So I guess what it comes down to is asking yourself: Are you a good person or are you a bad person? If you are good, why would you doubt that you would do good? Good people don't do bad things. They may make mistakes every once in a while, but they acknowledge those errors, feel guilty for them, and try to ensure they don't make them again. If you are a good person you should not doubt your actions. If your actions truly reflect ho you truly are and what you truly believe, then there is nothing to fear. "Getting rich" will only allow you to do more good, not suddenly turn you evil. Money is just a green light allowing you to Go. The more you can afford to do, the more good you have the capacity to do.


So as it turns out I went to go play Sky Rim last night and my good buddy managed to save over my saved data from my last game play. Had to re-steal a horse to give back to the man who owned it, which is weird. How is it stealing if you are returning the horse to its proper owner? Then I forgot what I had done after that the last time I played so I decided to go back and complete a mission I hadn't gone through all the way before.

I'm about 3000 coins less than I was last time, but I have completed a major quest now. I really don't remember what it was I did last time and it bugs me. There's a random mission out there I need to re-complete.

I was frustrated by the game and was debating giving up on it altogether. It reminded me a little too much of Sims. I erased that game from my computer after I spent 6 hours on it and the data didn't end up saving. It's like having to start from scratch and then you start to wonder if it's even worth it. What if you lose all the data again? All the effort and concentration you put ino it? Like building sand castles by the beach and expecting them to last.

Good thing I don't take games too seriously. It's best to walk away when they start to amount to that much in yor life and come back when its value has lessened in your eyes. It's just a game. 

Saturday, February 11, 2012


Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens. - Jimi Hendrix

Promises mean everything, but after they are broken, sorry means nothing.

My father used to say, you would worry less about what people think, if you knew how little they did. -Dr. Phil McGraw

A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.

God gave us mouths that close and ears that don't-- that should tell us something

Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.

"You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions."- Naguib, Mahfouz

The truth is hard to swallow when you're choking on your pride...

"I've always believed that a lot of the trouble in the world would disappear if we were talking to each other instead of about each other."- Ronald Reagan (April 11, 1984)

   One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a debate that goes on inside people. He said,"My son, the battle between two wolves is inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
   The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
   The grandson thought about this for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
    The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

I can only show you the door. You're the one who has to walk through it. - The Matrix ' Morpheous

The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. - Peter Drucker

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

"To know that you know, and to know that you don't know - that is real wisdom."- Confucious

Who cannot understand your silence, cannot understand your words. - Tolkin

"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge; That myth is more potent than history; That dreams are more powerful than facts; That hope always triumphs over experience; That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death."

Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment. -Lao Tzu

There's a difference between knowing the path and walking it. - The Matrix ' Morpheous

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. - Douglas Adams

The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you. - John E. Southard

People are to be loved and things are to be used... Immorality occurs, when things are loved and people are used.

Two people can damage a society: the one who knows and doesn't talk and the one who doesn't know and talks - Mr. Peja (genci. K)

I've come to the conclusion that the best and most important things in life are the things that we can not see. That is the reason we close our eyes when we kiss a person we love, cry over someone we care about, and dream about what we believe.

I complained because I didn't have shoes until I saw someone without feet.

A fool will learn nothing from a wise man, but a wise man will learn much from a fool

Don't let someone create you, because they might just destroy you

A mirror does not show who you are, instead it shows who you pretend to be. - Laura Regus

Fear is what stops you... Courage is what Keeps you going

"Nothing is opened more by mistake than a human mouth" - Yeck Brothers


Once, all village people decided to
pray for rain. On the day of prayer all people gathered and only one boy came with an Umbrella,that’s Confidence


Trust should be like the feeling of a one year old baby when you throw him in the air, he laughs because he knows you will catch him; that’s Trust


Every night we go to bed, we have no assurance to get up alive in the next morning but still you have plans for the coming day; that’s Hope


Keep your head and heart going in the right direction and you won’t have to worry about your feet.

People are always talking about finding the one person that can make their heart skip a beat.. Personally I’m good, I'm not looking to develop a heart problem...

Emanicipate yourself from mental slavery, no one but ourselves can free our minds.-Bob Marley

Pay close attention to the quiet ones, because there the ones, when everyone else is gone, that pay attention to you.

Never ruin an apology with an excuse. - Hajar Bessal

Don't wrestle in the mud with the pigs; you both get dirty, only the pig likes it.

Baby mosquito came back after 1st time flying.
His mom asked him "How do you feel?"
He replied "It was wonderful, Everyone was clapping for me!"

Don't look where you fall, but where you slipped

Just remember that the Devil was the most beautiful angel in heaven, so don't allow beauty to fool you. - Rambo Amadeus

When GOD leads you to the edge of a cliff, Trust him fully.
Only two things can happen; either he will catch you when you fall
he will teach you how to fly.

No need for revenge - Just sit back and wait...those that hurt you will eventually screw up all by themselves ...and if you are lucky, God will let you watch.

The road to success is not straight. There is a curb called Failure, a loop called Confusion; speed bumps called Friends; red lights called Enemies; caution lights called Family. You will have flats called jobs. But, if you have a spare called Determination; an engine called Perseverance; insurance called Faith, and a driver called Jesus, you will make it to a place called Success!!

Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right - Abraham Lincoln

A wise man once said: An error does not become a mistake, until you refuse to correct it. - President John F. Kennedy

History Mystery:

Have a history teacher explain this if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe..