Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Movements in Science

There are currently 3 movements going on in what I would call the scientific community, but let’s be honest –no one ever pays any attention to that group and the work they do tends to be thankless and under-appreciated. They analyze data and work formulas that would make your head explode all because they thirst to know the truth that deeply and everyone around just kind of goes, “Ehhh…”

#1 Environment:

I won’t go into this one that much because it’s the one most people are overtly aware of. The movement to raise awareness of the environmental state of the planet is essential. Period.

#2 Archeology:

This one is something most people wouldn’t notice or pick up on because there’s this notion that, “Everything’s already been discovered…” What people don’t realize is that there are STILL some discoveries being made and there are things be re-discovered where previous work didn’t reach fruition.

Back in the 1800s there were several different group –like the Jesuits and Freemasons –that were running around hiding valuable artifacts and leaving little clues around for people to later find. Thanks to technology, greater funding, and internet access archeologists and explorers are now better able to discern some of these clues and successfully track down things that were previously hidden.

More people in general are also aware of relics and hidden items existing than they would have been able to know of before, again thanks in part to the internet. There is a movement within the archeologist community to uncover things formerly hidden by the past because the time has come for certain things to be brought to light.

#3 Dinosaurs:

This leads us to another thing being discovered and that is a deeper understanding and a shift in theories regarding dinosaurs. Up until now most people believed dinosaurs were purely reptiles –originally deriving from fish/aquatic animals. NOW there have been recent discoveries that lead to the possibility of many of these dinosaurs actually being a hybrid between reptile and BIRD –if not bird entirely.

Several of these dinosaurs (mostly those that walk on 2 legs) have had skin samples recovered that have included feathers or the kind of skin affiliated with birds like ostriches. And if you compare the bone structure of dinosaurs like the T-Rex to a chicken or an ostrich the bone layout and gate/walk appears to be the same.

This is important to acknowledge if for no other reason than to evade the ignorance of an age. Back in the late 1800s there was a man that discovered a pterodactyl. He knew it wasn’t a dragon –which people in prior centuries had believed things like that to be. Being a scientific man, he knew dragon wasn’t possible. But he couldn’t comprehend the existence e of a new species –it just didn’t register. So instead he depicted it as being a BAT. He thought it was a bat. That was the only thing his mind would allow him to conceive of.

Looking back on everything we’ve come to know –especially given movies like Jurassic Park –we act like we have the luxury of being above such mistakes. However, if people cling to falsehood where new light is being shed of developing understandings, people will reiterate the same mistake over again.

#4 Evolution

This isn’t a topic that’s been brought up in a while, but I think it’s time to discuss.
Back in the 1960s the scientific community got together to go over some problems they were discovering with Darwin’s Theory of Evolution. Given how hard the scientific community fought (generally against bigoted religious groups of people) to have the theory recognized as valid –this was a pretty controversial meeting of necessity.

Basically what they found was a lack of understanding of GENETICS –which Darwin alluded to and was on the right track with, but couldn’t understand in full detail due to a lack of technological advances.

Darwin’s Theory basically stated that given the right external factors of influence over time, a mouse could evolve into an elephant.

But what scientists found was that there are genetic factors present in mice that are absent in elephants and vice versa. These DNA/genetic codes prevent one animal from evolving into another since you can’t just magically make them appear out of nowhere.

In fact, if you look at human beings in terms of genetics, we actually have more in common with a giraffe (I think that’s what it was…) than a monkey or ape. In terms of appearances and psychology monkeys/gorillas SEEM very similar, but in terms of internals –aren’t that close. There’s a “missing link” which is why some people hope that finding Bigfoot would help prove there was an overlap and connection present that allowed for the rise of one species form the other. I maintain that even if Bigfoot was found and you looked at his genetics, there would STILL be significant gaps.
So there are several puzzling issues that arise when you really look into evolution and how things came about.

#1 Mammals.

Fish evolving into Reptiles makes sense. Both are cold blooded and there are many fish-reptile animals like alligators that con meander from land into sea. That evolution from scaled being to scaled being makes sense.

Reptiles to Birds also makes sense. Especially with recent discoveries, birds and reptiles actually have a lot in common and both are cold blooded and have scales.
Something to Amphibians makes less sense. They are scaled, but out of nowhere they break rank and go warm blooded. Technically they’re still within something of the realm of possibility.

MAMMALS make NO sense. They aren’t scaled and they are warm blooded. Finding any animal –besides the duck-billed platypus- that crosses over or has anything in common with birds/fish/reptiles and even amphibians just isn’t there. They stand in stark contrast and are far more complex in terms of connection/inter-relations, psychology, and physiology. They don’t fit the pattern at all and emerge out of nowhere.

#2 Giant Comet Theory

People theories some kind of comet hit the earth and wiped everything out. Several issues.

First issue is that dinosaurs eventually gave way to modern birds and reptiles like our buddy the alligator, so not all of them could have been wiped out. Also towards the end of the reign of dinosaurs small mammals were present, so how do you go from small mammals roaming to everything being wiped out –except the small mammals and a few reptiles here and there? 

Thirdly, if a meteor hit this earth right now, or a series of meteors hit the planet –PARTS of the planets inhabitants would get wiped out but not everything. Some of the dinos would have made it. Yet all we’re left with is this notion that only little things carried on and the bigger ones were wiped out and suddenly you’ve got highly evolved Mammoths, saber tooth tigers, early humans, and other mammals roaming the earth with no dinos in sight. It doesn’t really add up.

At the end of the day it seems almost deliberate that dinos would be taken out and earth would give way to the rise of mammals.

#3 Humans

Let’s be honest, humans from the beginning weren’t like animals. To suggest we derived from animals, kind of misses the point. We build sky scrapers, put people on the moon, and blog about theories involving our own existence. Even monkeys and gorillas in spite of showing some strong similarities don’t ultimately come close to human beings in terms of development and ways of expressing life.

We have always been set above and beyond animals in that way. As someone recently put it, “Mankind is the only species capable of killing off every other species including his own.” We are different and often times not comparable to anything in terms of being top of the food chain.

Humans ride horses, swim with dolphins, and occasionally tame lions. We’re different and in terms of evolution, we make no sense and follow no previously established pattern. We’re an anomaly and kind of a big one.

All I see are big gaps and huge questions not easily answered in terms of where we come from. If there was a nice little theory that could put everything in a box and tie it up with a bow that’d be great, but it just doesn’t exist right now.

 Science can only do so much, especially when dealing with things from eons and eons ago.

It’s important to acknowledge these holes because although they trouble the mind, they are also a truth that needs to be acknowledged. 

Recent Occurrences

I don’t usually like to talk about my own life unless it’s something pretty relevant going on, but there have been some interesting things occurring.

#1 The Mug Instance: 

Went to a “white elephant” party a week or so ago. White elephant is basically where people draw a number individually and then go in sequential order up to a pile of presents not knowing who they’re from or what they are and then choose one.

If someone who is called after the first initial people wants to, they can steal a present that has already been opened by someone and then the persons stolen from can either steal themselves a new present or go to the pile.

My number was 6 and I went up to the pile and tried to be intuitively led to the best gift. I was IMMEDIATELY drawn to a present with blue wrapping paper. At first I thought I was over-eager and it wouldn’t be something good. Then I opened it and it was a coffee mug (which is what I’d actually been asking relatives to gift me for Christmas) and raspberry dark chocolate (my favorite).

I felt kind of accomplished and deeply contended with my gift –almost as if God had sent it to me. Then a guy named Eric STOLE my gift from me. It felt like God’s intention had been undermined. I went back to the pile and opened a Wine Bottle Cork Opener thing. I don’t drink. Was pretty mopey about it.

The next day we then had “Secret Santa”. Secret Santa is where you are given a person in the office to secretly give a gift to without them knowing it’s from you. I got a lovely girl named Jessica (not me) who is always running around and helping people with events (she reminds me of my cousin Jennifer). I got her a notebook and coloring book.

Then I get my secret santa gift from someone unknown and open it… It’s the SAME mug as I got the day before from white elephant. What’s great about this mug is it says Colorado on the side and depicts mountains and nature scenes from CO. It felt like God came through again –like nothing can truly undermine God’s determination to get something through.

#2 Flight Cancelled: 

I KNEW about a month or two before that flying out to California wasn’t going to happen. I didn’t even print the tickets out because I KNEW it would be pointless. Didn’t know what would happen to stop the flight, but I knew it wasn’t happening. The week before the flight there was rumor of a blizzard coming that Saturday.

I printed out the tickets the day before, but knew I wouldn’t use them. I debated packing, but did it anyway on the 5% chance in my mind that it would still happen. Flights started being cancelled the night before and by 4am mine was too. Then I was told to try and reschedule the flight and I knew that wouldn’t work either –especially the weekend before Christmas.

It’s important to know when you genuinely KNOW. This discernment is essential. You can feel it as a kind of certainty or an absolute truth that’s irrefutable. It just is what it is.

#3 UTI: 

Health issues again. I went to see the doctor about my UTI issue. She was a nice woman, but basically thought I was over-reacting. I was tested for Uterine Cancer since my grandma got it around my age, but the tests came back negative. I still believe it’s ovarian cancer, but without any kind of hereditary contribution or genetic disposition no doctor will take you seriously –which is kind of frightening.

This disease is called “the silent killer” because it is so hard to detect. I also logically don’t understand how someone can say, “You can’t have this disease unless someone else in your family had it.” Well then how did they get it? At some point this disease has to derive without previous hereditary influence. How does that occur? I could understand if this cancer was ONLY genetically transferred, but we know that’s not the case. It’s like telling a woman: “Don’t check for breast cancer –no one else in your family has it.”

My grandfather is also suffering from a rare kind of spinal cord cancer, so the excuse of, “Well it would be pretty rare…” doesn’t amount to much when you are that rarity.
So once again had to struggle with a UTI. Thank God I still have some disposable catheters around. Didn’t want to have to use it, but after a day of not really being able to pee it became necessary. Things are mostly better now. Preventing retention is the primary concern –otherwise my stomach/ intestines/ uterus gets distended and I start to look pregnant and bloated.

This is the 4th time this year this has occurred. But I’m sure there’s nothing bigger going on…. (sarcasm).

#4 Stanley Hotel: 

The night before the day after Christmas (take your time with that one)… I was told, “By the way, we’re going to Estes Park tomorrow so you have to wake-up early.” Not what I wanted to hear for the last day before I have to get back to work.

We make our trip to the Stanley Hotel, but I wasn’t sure why we were going. My step-mom who arranged the trip believes in ghosts, but doesn’t like them because she thinks they’re “creepy”. She also sort of finds them fascinating which tells you how much experience she’s had with them.

My step-brother who also went is an atheist and finds religion/beliefs highly illogical –so it wasn’t for him.

Dad’s experienced ghost stuff and watches ghost shows sometimes but mostly just wants to understand what’s going on –not really go exploring himself.

My sister and I have had negative, traumatic experiences with entities so we actually DON’T want to encounter them unless we have to. We’re perceptively intuitive and at some point you realize these “entities” are just people –some of whom aren’t very nice. It’s like someone telling you they’re taking you to a place where you purposely wander around trying to encounter random strangers because it’s “fascinating”. It’s not. It’s awkward and weird and unsettling.

So we go and find out about the interesting history of the hotel. I mostly try to stay grounded (I was sort of led to wear my Star of David crystal necklace that day for some reason) and tried to bless every room and make sure God’s presence was there.
For all its status, the hotel isn’t actually that haunted. When you walk in you can feel a GENERAL level of spiritual energy in part because it’s built in the mountains on top of a lot of quartz crystal. It’s more like a place where spiritual energy in general kind of abounds –not necessarily positive or negative or even individual spirits.  Most of the energy there is what you would call “residual”. When there’s that much history to a place and that many lives passing through it creates its own kind of echoing energy –like almost all of Europe.

The only place I got triggered was this stairway. My attention was immediately drawn to it and you could almost SEE the energy moving down it like a waterfall. And I did get the sense of an individual or several entities on that thing. Then I was told that it’s known as a “vortex” and many psychics have perceived of this motion going on with it. I didn’t like the stairway much, so I mostly just tried to bring God’s presence in and hand it over.

There were a couple rooms I passed by on the 3rd and 4th floors that may have had some specific entities in rooms –but that was it for the main portion of the hotel. The underground/ basement hallway was probably the most unsettling. They have a basement hallway that leads to the staff lounge area and there is exposed rock running along either side.

The rock itself and the atmosphere is GOOD –it reminded me of being out in the woods and in nature. But there is some kind of negative entity down there. My energy was already running low by the time we hit that room given I hadn’t eaten for a while and we had been wandering around for over an hour, but then everything just tanked. I almost blacked out and more than any other time my body/soul got instinctually Grounded and Present as if in defense against something or in reaction to something. Not a fan of the basement area.

Then when I was in the car getting ready to leave I had a HUGE déjà vu moment and actually remembered a vivid dream I had of looking myself in the car mirror up front and saying, “Remember this moment –this is meant to happen.” Déjà vu is freaky. But it was at least good to know I was meant to travel there and impart what positive influence I could. I think I was meant to tell some of the ghosts to “rise to Heaven” and change some of the trapped energies of the room so new, positive, present energy could be brought in.

One of the downsides to most “psychics” is they only perceive of what is and don’t seek to change anything or improve the circumstances. It’s important to help bring in new, positive influence. 

The Evolution of Environmentalism

People have come a long way when it comes to relating to nature and seeking to preserve it. Special thanks to Teddy Roosevelt, Henry David Thoreau and Ralph Waldo Emerson for sticking to their guns on that front.

But it is important to note where we’ve been, where we are, and where we should be heading because right now environmentalism is kind of hitting a road block and doesn’t quite seem to know where to go.

#1 Change with PSA’s

Back in the 90’s when non-profits were really being brought to light publically on television screens, there was an instinct to focus on sympathy and playing to people’s emotions to get them to donate. A lot of those commercials were a zooming in of puppies behind cages and little kids from foreign countries sitting in mud. And it worked. People felt guilty and donated. But then time went on and people started getting resentful. There’s this instinctive reaction that kicks in like, “Why is this my fault? Why do I have to do something about this?” And people become numb and distant towards that kind of emotional manipulation.

So inevitably things shifted. The non-profits that still maintain that approach are left in the dust. Environmentalism has almost always taken a different approach –and that approach ramped up in the 2000’s. Because most environmentalists are scientists, their approach has been to present DATA and FACT. They clarify the patterns and the global activity with nature and can then attempt to predict the implications of continued neglect or abuse of those same places.

So documentaries and infographics have paved the way for understanding to be shared and extended to people outside of the scientific/environmentalist community. And sure enough, it worked. People are far more cognizant and mindful of what’s going on with various issues related to climate change, oceans, animals… And very few people are left to convince about any of it.

As was always going to be the case there would inevitably be a few people stuck to the bottom of the barrel. It would be impossible to assume EVERYONE on the planet would be in agreeance and on the same page about nature and the issues related to it. After-all some of those people are KKK members. You think members of the KKK that think black people should be enslaved give a damn about the environment? They’re advocates for human enslavement. I doubt ISIS cares about what’s going on with melting ice caps. You were always going to have some people that either wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t understand, or wouldn’t care.

But right now it seems like environmentalists are still trying to convince people. They’ve got 80% of developed countries on the same page and backing their play, but they’re still trying to convince those few remaining politicians that say gays should be stoned to death to acknowledge climate change exists. It’s time to move on. They have enough people on board to press forward and leave those in ignorance behind.

Their primary focus now should not only fact-based acknowledgements of what’s occurring, but the next step and harder question of: What do we do about it as an entire people? Because asking the common layperson to recycle isn’t going to cut it anymore. More can and should be asked of people. There are greater strides that can be taken now if for no other reason than everyone acknowledges it’s deeply needed.

There’s a time to spread the word and a time to act on it –we’re entering the time of action in general. Time to bring these seeds to fruition.

#2 The Complexity of Nature

As I’ve recently discovered with the issue of Poverty, nature has always been a complex, inter-connected issue. You try focusing on one aspect of nature as some people do, but it never works. Take the Ocean. You have dead zones, oil spills, corral bleaching, shark finning, a depletion of animals for “food” in general, entire ecosystems disappearing, hurricanes… Just that one singular issue is packed full of subcategories of issues.

Then there’s the knowing that the ocean doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Hurricanes create flooding which kills and devastates the lives of people and animals and lands. Then there’s the pollution that washes ashore and contaminates the water systems affiliated with lands. Then there’s the fact that people at food from the sea, and they’re discovering more and more that those animals are contaminated with toxins that then poison people. It all washes ashore.

Next to every environmentalist issues you could singularly focus on is connected to at least 5 other ones if not more. A HOLISTIC approach is needed. You can’t sever and divide up nature into bite sized pieces because you like protecting endangered species but could care less about deforestation. It’s like saying you’re a humanitarian but not caring about the homeless or victims of human trafficking–only children with cancer.

#3 The Greed of Mankind

One of the biggest underlying issues with the problems nature is contending with is actually Mankind. Because you can make it abundantly clear to people that destroying natural resources for profit is an issue, but if it comes at any expense of inconvenience to people they will utterly ignore it –especially the “people” known as Corporations. Whatever cuts costs. I imagine the bald eagle would be dead and long gone, even by those who claim patriotism, if it was deemed inconvenient for them to exist. If people couldn’t eat hot dogs because the way they were made led to the destruction of the eagles’ native habitat… those birds would be GONE.

Up until now, people have never had to hold themselves accountable for their actions towards nature. Even animal abuse wasn’t considered a crime until recent times. Kill the lion. Hunt the elephant. Skin the cat alive.

Now for the first time that incompetence has reached a global scale and for the first time people are seeing that devastation enacted on grand scale –in part due to technology and advanced machinery. In Henry the 8th’s time, he could go out on a hunting excursion with his many staff members and servants and kill 400 deer in one session. In spite of how large that number was, globally it seems small. But when EVERYONE can do as they please and many kill extensively in great numbers for profit, what is left at the end of the day?

Convincing people not just to care about the environment and the impact they have on it -but the greater task of having people hold themselves Accountable seems like an uphill battle. I pray to God we win.

This planet is like a body. And right now this body has been diagnosed with cancer, Alzheimer’s, liver disease, cholera, and malaria. And like a body trying to fight off an infection there are extreme symptoms arising like mud slides, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters. This body is out of whack. It’s succumbing to the pains being plagued upon it.

My suspicion is that just like it has been with everything, mankind will procrastinate until things get That Bad. Eventually everything can be corrected and returned to a state of balance, but it will take the cost of many lives –and more likely the cost of living expenses –before it really hits people how important an issue this is.

And things like the government blatantly trying to erase these issues doesn't help:

Monday, December 19, 2016

Spirituality: Non-Religion, Rituals, Affirmations

Principles of a Non-Religion

I feel like affirming and adding onto a sentiment made by the beloved saint Anne Frank. That in spite of all the pains they can inflict, it is better to have the truths and insights religions can bring than to be left entirely in the dark without them.

And so it is I’d like to formally introduce a belief system that’s existed for a while (especially since the 70’s and 80’s) that’s been mocked and kept to the shadows until now with its absorption into the daily lives of many without trying. I can’t call it a religion. Mostly because it isn’t one. Instead a lot of the attributes of this “belief system” are, on principle, not regimented that way.

They call it “New Age”, which has annoying connotations. I call it Spiritualism because it gets further to the heart of what it entails.

This faith system is hard to describe and reign in. It flows like water where others stand as stone.

On Principle, ANY person can indiscriminately participate in this faith.

On Principle, any person of this faith can believe anything they want. This includes and exemplifies the right to believe and validate the truths of many religions.

On Principle, the values of this faith are centered around: Peace, Empathetic Compassion, Truth, Divinity, and Creativity. Non-violence is its necessity.

You can be a Jewish person who also sees validity in Native American beliefs. 
You can be a Hindu that also sees value in Christian teachings. 
You can be a Muslim that also adheres to the teachings of Buddha.

You can be an anything that also considers himself/herself a something else.
In spite of the many iterations and combos that are possible, by some miracle most “new agers” tend to have alignment with a lot of the same beliefs.

I met a Catholic woman who did spiritual healing using meditation and chakras. I met a woman who acknowledged Heaven, angels, Christ, and reincarnation. I met woman who practiced Native American beliefs, but also drew a great deal from Celtic understandings. (Russell Brand is Christian and Hindu. I could probably name other celebrities, but some are less pronounced than others in all honesty. Russell takes pride in being open about his thoughts –including his beliefs.)

ALL spiritualists that I’ve met have DEEP reverence for that which is sacred –even if it’s sacred to someone else. They pay homage to past faiths and cultures and have great respect for the beliefs of others. Every time you meet with a member of this group you gain and you give in equal measure. They a purposely curious about the way you see the world, that their line of sight may be broadened.

Above all, the spiritual “presence” and clairvoyance of these people is off the charts. I tend to include myself in this as well. You can read them very easily and information passes swiftly between you. There is a drawing and a connection made there.

Every once in a while you’ll meet someone who’s a bit “too out-there”, but that’s usually because that’s what happens when you delve more into another realm than this one. Heaven isn’t normal. Heaven isn’t mundane and ordinary. You don’t sit at a desk stapling papers together in Heaven. It’s different. And the people who connect to it that deeply are going to be different as well. They’re going to be weird in a wondrous kind of way.

Rituals v. Spirituality

I can understand why some people do spiritual practices. Some people attend church, some people mediate, and some people create alters and pray before them daily. We are creatures of habit. My problem with rituals comes when habit is all these practices devolve into.

I compare it to saying the Pledge of Allegiance every morning in elementary school. “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United states of America… and to the republic for which it stands… one nation, under God, indivisible (until recently -actually ALWAYS)… with liberty and justice for all (except those who are black or can’t afford it)”.

There were moments when it was recited and the entire time I was thinking about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Other times I did genuinely mean it, but it was hard to express that sincerity, given my script was written for me. There were times I wanted to go off the beaten path and say, “No but really, I do care for this country and the people in it. We have it pretty great here all things considered. We’re a work in progress, but progress IS being made…”

This is the trouble with ritualistic practice. It leaves no room for creative influence, intuition, and often sincerity. Spirituality is usually a lot more fluid and harder to reign in. Every once in a while my day-to-day routine will be abruptly shifted because of intuition.

Wanted to leave my desk at work. Wanted to leave it. Wanted to go. Needed to go somewhere. Anywhere. Just go. So I did. Down the stairs to the cafeteria room. BINGO! Donuts. I kid you not, they placed donuts down there the second I stepped in the room. And I got first dibbs!!!

God bless intuition. Any time you fall for ritualistic practice ask yourself, “What donuts does God want to lead me to that I am not accessing right now because I’d rather control the situation and force myself to perform ritualistic acts instead.”
You can’t reign in the soul. It was never intended for that. You have to let it find its own way.

Thoughts on Affirmations + “Happiness”

For reasons explained in the previous paragraphs –not a big fan of affirmations. They bother me. Most of the time I don’t understand them. People have varying definitions on what they are and it tends to confuse.

My definition of an affirmation is something like, “I am empowered and can create anything I want in this life.” It’s supposed to be an empowering, self-affirming statement. “I am surrounded by an abundance of love and divine radiance”. I don’t like it.

And this is something I grappled with 2 weeks ago. Is it a negative thing out of alignment with Heaven, or a positive thing that comes from Heaven? This weird attitude/vibe you get from some spiritual people others might call “hippies”? It’s this weird happy-go-lucky, summer camp singing kumbaya by the camp fire, Big Bird from Sesame Street talking to little kids… it’s THAT vibe. And I tried to compare it to Mr. Rogers but then realized that although he talked slowly, even he didn’t actually carry himself in that way. Sorry Mr. Rogers!

And I ultimately decided that it was the way some adults talk to CHILDREN. And they talk that way because they view children as delicate bundles of innocence that would be tainted otherwise. Which is why I “suck” at talking to kids because I refuse to do that. I talk to them squarely in the eye as if they were adults and extend them that same line of respect. I HATED when adults talked to me that way. It’s demeaning past a certain point.

And yet that “lisp” rolls around on people’s tongues every once in a while when they start talking about stuff like, “We are all children of radiant moonbeams and starlight sparkles…”

Anyways. Affirmations are only of use when they’re genuine. Do it for yourself and no one else when You decide you really want to.

Which brings us to HAPPINESS.I hate “happiness”.

I like joy though. Genuine, sincere, real, utterly liberating, deeply contented in the moment JOY.

Happiness as it has been manufactured to people has devolved into those shoes you just absolutely need from DSW and that new car to match your Gucci bracelet and that one brand of ice cream –and ONLY that brand!

Happiness is a commercial intended to distract the deeply discontented.


I said it.

I hate happiness. 

November Post: Embodiment of Soul


I’m definitely getting better at being In Body. There’s a kind of “click” that happens when it occurs. My soul is definitely used to resonating above rather than within. It can actually feel kind of like a kid on time out when my soul is fully enfleshed.

There have been some benefits and draw backs to this experience. When I’m in body I am much more receptive and present to the environment around me which allows for greater perception and connection. Nature feels ALIVE to an extent it hadn’t before. I also seem to talk more fluidly and wander with more ease and confidence than I would otherwise. I can see and sense with more clarity. My energy is also higher and there are times when I actually kind of want to run a marathon. I feel like a horse let out of a barn and want to run and climb and venture out into the world more.

But the downsides hit pretty quickly as well. HUNGER became an issue since I’m burning up more energy being in body. I need to eat more healthy snacks throughout the day. Headaches also became a problem because I still tend to resonate more mentally than physically and it leads to this spiritual “clog” going on in my head. It is also far more challenging to listen to music and daydream the way I usually do from time to time. Imagining things definitely takes soul out of body and into a different arena.

So I’ve come to the understanding that if I’m in a dentist’s office, I’m going to space out and let soul wander elsewhere. If I’m in a conference and need to speak to a group at some point, I’m going to be higher energy and fully present in body.

*Update 11/09:

Kind of had a breakthrough this morning. I got really grounded and present into body and felt God’s presence and the presence of Heaven above. I could perceive of Heaven and interact while being fully embodied. And the metaphor that came to me was Helen Keller. Because you think about her circumstances and how she could touch a rock and know it was there, but know it was a rock. She must have presumed that like herself everyone around her was also blind and incapable of seeing beyond. And yet that day came when she finally realized there was someone there to be her eyes for her and tell her, “This is a rock.” That communication and understanding finally came through and what I feel is basically Heaven saying, “We will be your eyes where you can’t see and lead you to understand the things you currently don’t.” You just kind of feel like you’re being led by the hand and guided and don’t really have anything to worry about. 

LGBTQ+ Youth in Colorado

Everyone knows LGBTQ+ youth have it rough. Everyone knows the rate of being bullied among that group –with transgendered people in particular –is alarmingly high compared to most teens in general. They know this is a national trend present in all states. Less people know that about 50% of LGBTQ+ youth –especially transgendered women –have been raped. Fewer people know that how BAD the suicide rate is among LGBTQ+ -especially transgendered people.

So here’s some clarity and some actual statistics based the “Healthy Kids Colorado Survey”. (If you want to download the survey, first get the Table of Contents which goes over each question asked and each section theme and then look at the survey itself. Website ->

35% of LGBTQ+ Youth have been Bullied
20% of LGBTQ+ Youth have been Raped
87% are generally Depressed
50% have inflicted Self-Harm
46% have Contemplated Suicide
38% Planned to Commit Suicide
25% Did attempt Suicide

In almost EVERY category listed in that VERY extensive document over and over again the sexual-orientation sections shows consistently the disparity between what many teens are going through and what LGBTQ+ teens in particular are going through.

Race is another common theme that comes up a lot and many people forget, LGBTQ+ youth aren’t just white. Race adds another element of further disparity and an increase in the likelihood of harm.

Coming from California I can tell you the climate of that state with regard to the LGBTQ+ community in general. There are people openly supportive of gay people and not afraid to say and then there are people pretty aggressively against gay people –either by siting religious reasons or because they’re a bigoted a**hole in general. In general California acknowledges the gay community prevalently and they have a good amount of representation there –in part because of Harvey Milk and San Francisco.

In Colorado the situation is a lot different. Like California you have central areas of cosmopolitan cityscapes and you have pockets of more isolated agricultural/country areas as well as Mountain/Pine Tree areas. In the cities, it’s pretty commonly understood you don’t have issue with gay people. In kind, the countries and mountain regions are generally understood to be against them. The main difference from California is the LACK of gay history being prevalent as it is in that state. In general there is a LACK of acknowledgment of that community. You can say that they’re out of sight because they’re out of mind. And even talking about gay people is still deemed controversial in some places.

I feel like in the cities LGBTQ+ youth would stand more of a chance and have more resources/support to draw from. But out in the country or in more isolated areas, they’d be screwed. 

And the problem with Transgendered people in general is that unlike gay people who can “hide” their orientation or pretend to be straight to evade abuses, Transgendered people specifically want their gender identity to be recognized mostly by External means. You can hide an orientation if you need to, but hiding your entire Gender is far more of a challenge which leaves a lot of trans youth forced to be more “out-in-the-open” with their true identity and therefore far more at risk of being mistreated because of it.

And transgendered children and teens aren’t stupid. They watch t.v. and see social media and KNOW there are people across the nation calling them pedophiles, perverts, and sinful creations. They KNOW they’re deeply hated. They are aware of it externally on a local AND national level. They see the way people in North Carolina are being treated and how do you not feel like an endangered species being hunted when there are so few people around that are like and so many people around you telling you you’re evil.

And this is what they get. For every person who hates upon members of the LGBTQ+ community to any extent, your dreams have come true. They’re dying. They’re dying swiftly, consistently, and in great number. And when they’re not dying of their own accord, they’re dying at the hands of murderers who feel their “sin” of taking life is lesser than the “sin” of living life as a transgendered person. 

Foster Care Youth –An Invisible Dilemma

I had never considered Foster Care youth and what issues they might be facing –especially going out into the world as young adults. Then I learned.

Issue #1 The Foster Care System Itself

Everyone knows about some of the issues with the foster care system and I think I may have spoken before about how broken and abusive it has become in general. It’s just sad that a child or teen can be passed on like a playing card through so many homes never really finding a place where they are “at home”. They don’t usually have great adult role models around and the emotional/mental struggles they face can be intense.

Issue #2 Mental Health Resources

Whether it’s a kid/teen in the system or someone coming out of it the availability of Mental Health resources and the ability to afford them is very limited. Basically it looks like this: Jennifer was physically abused by her father as a kid and was sent to a foster care home where she then felt alone, isolated, and yet surrounded. She has had several people passing over her case management file and it was determined at some point –likely her teenage years –that she has in fact developed a mental disorder and is generally depressed and needs counseling/medication.

ESPECIALLY if Jennifer is 18 or older and getting out of the system, she is likely unable to afford medication and even if she did the center she would go to to get it would have her come in briefly, get her a months’ worth of medication, and then not follow up –if she even got in because those places are over-burdened and crowded.

This is a happy-go-lucky scenario compared to some of the more severe cases out there and even some of the more common ones.

In spite of Colorado in particular having Mental Health-focus in part because of the Columbine Shooting, Aurora Shooting, and Planned Parenthood Shooting, there is a severe deficit in Mental Health support services right now.

Issue #3 The Education System for Foster Care Youth

It’s hard for lots of teens to focus on school in general –let alone if abuse is present or has been enacted, let alone if they’re in poverty, let alone if they’ve got mental health issues, let alone if they have no positive adult support system around them. Lots of foster care youth are shuffled from unstable environment to unstable environment and focusing on school –especially depending on their age –is very challenging if next to impossible.

What often ends up happening is a kind of break in fundamental learning. If you start to learn addition and subtraction and then are moved to another home mid-school year and placed in an entirely new location where they’re now learning fractions and division it directly disrupts your understanding and a lot of youth just kind of can give up in general at some point.

Then when young adult foster care youth try to enter into community college to gain some refreshers on basic learning courses, they struggle to keep up and most of the time there aren’t even any credits in those courses and they earn nothing. They need direct assistance and tutoring to fill in the specific gaps in learning that they’re missing and there isn’t anybody there to help them in that way. So they again kind of give up and just focus on finding a job –which is usually a very low-paying one.

Issue #4 Homelessness

You can see how ALL of these factors can lead to the vast majority of foster care youth becoming homeless. Especially with girls who have been sexually abused, human trafficking comes up as an issue a lot in particular for them since they are more vulnerable. Boys who come out of foster care and become homeless face the issue of having a high likelihood of getting sent to jail for non-violent crimes like petty theft, sleeping in a park, or masturbating “in public” behind a dumpster (in these instances they are then registered as a sex offender).

After incarceration the likelihood of getting work becomes nearly impossible without assistance and many just go back to being homeless. 

Issues #5 “Safe” Homes

Each year a certain number of housing vouchers go out to mostly low-income families in need and a small portion are extended to youth at-risk of being homeless (especially foster care youth). These vouchers are usually good for $800 worth of rent. The “affordable” rent apartment start in the $1000s. This means these youth are usually sent to the cock-roach infested apartments where sex offenders and pedophiles tend to reside.

They then seek to find work or attempt to pursue continuing education in these sorts of environments.

Issue #6 A Holistic Approach

As far as I can tell these is no one-stop-shop non-profit organization that can handle all of these issues. Some non-profits focus on handling housing and counseling. But getting them the Mental Health services they need, career guidance, continued education guidance… all these other resources are recommended to them, but are scattered and external. So these youth have to be their own case managers and go out seeking these services actively and often times there simply isn’t enough support to go around because the system has so many people in need in those ways as well. 

It just seems like children are being handed one derailment after another and no one is really around to make these problems more visible so they don’t have to face them alone. There is a lack of visibility and therefore a lack of support and it leads to kids falling through the cracks. Everyone who gets to know any youth in this situation only wants for them the same as you would want for yourself or any person: Personal Empowerment and the Freedom to Pursue Dreams.