Sunday, November 26, 2017

RE: Future Me

Dear Past Me,

You are SAVED! 

Ended up getting a job cleaning at a Catholic Elementary School, Middle School, and Church. Had a very vivid premonition seeing the atrium at the center of the elementary school that I ended up "remembering" when I was there seeing it. 

Between seeing images of Mary and Christ everywhere and being present to the light energy affiliated with children being around -I'm definitely meant to be there doing what I'm doing. 

It's my second job now working 6pm -9pm after my first job. Love the people that I work with and actually had an hour-long spiritual conversation with the lead supervisor. 

I seriously get the sense that it was all about divine timing and that's why things weren't "working out" and I was essentially being led to this. I actually had a dream the night after I had gone on the internet glancing at the job options where the job involving a CHURCH stood out to me in my dream when I dreamt I'd gone back online. The next day I applied for that one and then one week later I was working there. 

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Dear Future Me

For whatever reason I'm meant to write this blog. I've had 2 other blogs in mind with a serious inability and no desire to write them out, but this is the one I'm meant to put out there for some reason. 

And I think it's mostly a note to my future self at this point. 

Dear future self, 

You're Screwed. 

I love my job. I love the physical activity, the fact that I mastered driving a lift and haven't run anyone over, I get to work with my new best friend, learning life lessons, working around plants and growing crops, cleaning stuff, and good hours. 


The only problem is the PAY. Whoever decided $9 as minimum wage was enough to work full time and live off of needs to be shot. Starting in 2018 it'll go up to $10, but for now it's not good. 

I pay rent and bills but am left each month with about $400 unaccounted for. Thanks to the support of family members I've essentially been scraping by with their patronage. My art is flourishing and the only other setback was only getting 1 day off a week -Sundays -which is physically taking its toll and I'm getting more and more tired each weekend I can tell. 

But I don't want to leave my job and I genuinely feel like I'm still meant to be there. But getting a third job (my second job is doing graphic design/marketing stuff on Sunday my pseudo 'day-off') seems like a nightmare. I don't have the energy or the stamina to get off of work and do some kind of night-shift job somewhere. But I don't know where to get the extra $400+ each month. 

Which is part of the reason why I know that I'm screwed and at this point ONLY God could help me out. I know I'm where I'm meant to be doing what I'm meant to be doing -just not getting paid what I need. Don't know how God is going to do it, but I keep getting the sense that something is going to happen. 

Not necessarily something good, but something bad that can turn into a blessing in disguise somehow pretty much. I think my bigger fear is that nothing would happen and I look down the barrel of another surmounting set of bills I'm unable to pay on my own. I'll take anything but this frustrating circumstance not changing. 

So whatever plot twist is coming for me it's important for future me to remember, "It was needed." 

*On the plus side the veil is thinning more and more and God and Heaven are coming through very resiliently and are close. I can actually feel the presence of Christ getting stronger each night. I just have trouble as always discerning Heaven's guidance. It's still murky.