I haven't written much -and I'm not sure how to summarize everything.
The last 2 months of winter sucked. Winter is an internal season and this world spirals further and further out while still going round and round when it comes to repeating life circumstances. This basically means I was lost and locked in the pains of my head and mind for a while. Stress from work. Co-workers who's mental vices I was transmuting by experiencing them myself. Having the instinct to escape so I got lost in daydreams again. It was painful. But I knew when I was going to come out of it and recognized when that shift was occurring. I am not the product of the circumstances I am in.
And with spring brings fire energy. I struggled with fire energy at first -I didn't think I was capable of being that angry. But you feel a force within you that refuses to back down. I didn't lash out at anyone, but I did have a temperament. But as always I came back to balance and learning the elements and decided I don't have to go full throttle and declare war over everything.
Along with the shift in season, there's come more clarity. There's so much balance in so many ways.
1. Self Becoming Whole
They showed me the spectrum of my soul -unique to each person, but they showed me mine. I saw vibrant colors like a jungle by the shore of an ocean. Then something to the left of it in equal measure like a cloud. Then one one end in a smaller cloud there was pure Light. On the other there was pure Dark -or dark neutral as I like to call it.
When I was a kid and they would ask me what my favorite colors were I would say Blue, Green, Purple, and Black & White. It didn't feel right to leave black and white out -like there was a truth there that was meant to be acknowledged. Now if someone asked me I'd say I have ALL colors in a kaleidoscopic view and Black and White.
Red, Orange, Yellow = Physical, action, survival, empowerment
Green = Heart
Blue and Purple = Head, reflection, depth, sorrow, knowing, and then peace, light
Rainbow = Everything coming together as a whole soul
Black and White = Duality beyond self
Ad again, there was also more but I don't remember it.
2. Balance of Elements
I'm being led more and more to channel the elements.
Water has always been my main one, being a water sign, but I've actually gotten tot he point of subtle resentment to it because I see the shadows of it I was in that I hadn't been aware of in the past. I've mastered water, but I'm still a little bitter.
Fire I had an aversion to, but have come around to now. You can burn off and purify negative/evil energy. You can move forward, be assertive, and mesh with nature more. Less "nice", more kind and generous by nature and by choosing.
Wood is great for grounding and clarity -it's actually really helpful when it comes to addressing negative entities and influence. It's so firm and yet light.
Dirt and Mud wasn't something I thought I'd be learning from, but here we are. Too much dirt and mud is suffocating and things get stuck. I add water to that situation and suddenly the mud turns to wet, mailable clay. You stand on the earth when you need grounding and better footing and you let out the levy when you want to mold something from it.
Air -this is the only one I'm not as familiar with yet. I relate more to Sky than air right now.
I watched a video today of 2 men in the tropics of South America making an incredible 2 storied house. They started with long reeds strewn together used to wrap around the outside frame as a base. then they used clay-like-mud to cover the reeds so the house was then caked in it. In the outside sun the clay would then harden and cement the frame of the house. They made clay bricks, put them under grass, burned it with fire, and made ceramic tiles for the roof.
I realized, between me learning Mud and Water and now mastering Fire -that house is Me.
3. Handling Inversion -Right Side Up
I've known for a while this world was upside down and inverted. It was in Hell where it could have been Heaven. If it's from the past -it's probably no good. It's hard learning a new way of life. Like the word "institutionalized". Someone getting out of prison after 25 years would struggle living again. I can make my own toast. I can go to another state. I can wear what I want.
There was a couple who decided not to buy a crib for their twin babies. They used Montessori beds placed close to the floor and let their kids sleep if they wanted or play if they wanted at night. Soon the kids were putting themselves to sleep. Who would have known there was something better than a crib if you had only ever thought by default to use the crib.
If it doesn't occur to you that there's better, how do you live it?
How do you enter a room if the furniture is on the ceiling?
4. Moving Forward
I've been promised for a long time some abundance was coming in great amount. Between a spiritual history of that not playing out and the recent delays of these times, I'd given up waiting and just moved on whether it was coming or not. Once again there's rumors it will come soon, but I don't pay it as much mind.
I feel bad for my past lives and those of others. They lied and told you Heaven by some miracle could come through physically during times of turmoil. It wasn't true. Heaven for its part could only come through minimally on a physical level if that. They mostly came through spiritually, which did not help with physical survival. I think it was a twisted lie used to "teach" the soul as it incarnated not to rely on heaven and to forget about it. "They won't really come through for you when you truly need it..."
Someone said "We're living in the nightmare of Hell because we're not awake in Heaven". Seems pretty accurate.
But all of that is shifting now and because I work with subtle energy with long-term goals aimed towards greater, whatever comes through will be in its own time. The more it's fixated on the more it will elude.
5. Sea Turtle
The ultimate goal of what is wanted to be lived in this life is a sea turtle passing quietly through the ocean unnoticed as it notices everything around it but does not react to it. It is a piece of nature in nature like a leaf falling from a tree.
