Monday, November 25, 2013

Crappy Night of Ghost Activity

Last night was intense. I haven't been that legitimately scared in a while. 

I managed to keep the energy/ghost at bay initially, though I did feel its presence when I first attempted to fall asleep. Then around 2am things got serious. It felt like something rushed up to the side of my bed -which scared the crap out me. I then kept feeling this overwhelming sense of fear I couldn't shake off. I tried to regulate my breathing and my heartbeat, but I could clearly feel a presence in the room. It was a lot more intimidating than usual. 

I got up and went to the bathroom in an attempt to "reclaim my space" by turning the lights on and wandering the hallway. Then I tried going back to sleep but couldn't again because the presence was so strong in the room. Frightened to an alarming extent I wasn't used to I "gave up" and turned on the bathroom light so the entire hallway and entryway to my bedroom where lit. I figured this would make the ghost go away -or at least assure me more that all was ok. 

Nope. 

5 minutes into going back to sleep, I felt an overwhelming feeling of energy come over me -like someone towering and looming behind me. I couldn't take it -so for the first time in a couple years I actually got up and went into the living room to turn on my laptop. I turned all the lights on in the living room and spent half an hour checking Facebook updates and trying to get my mind off of things.It did seem to help.

I went back to my bedroom and attempted to sleep again. My sleep was broken and brief. I kept waking up every 15 minutes. I didn't feel the presence as strongly, but there was always that tension in the room as if something could happen at any minute.

I got up at 6am -drained and tired- and prepared myself for the day. The worst part about living in a haunted place or being haunted by something is actually the sleep deprivation. I can take getting unexpectedly woken in the night by thin air or hearing strange noises in the dark -but the toll it takes on you during the day and the week that follows can be pretty hard to contend with.

I also don't appreciate the sudden drops in temperature. It's November! It's already pretty cold at night, and then when you get all warm and comfy in bed you feel the temperature drop to freezing a couple minutes after you sense the presence in the room. If the fear won't keep you awake, the subarctic climate will. 

Friday, November 22, 2013

Reading Memories

After reading old posts I realized how important it it to record the memories. Not the passing of the day-to-day, but the revelations you find. I soaked up knowledge like a sponge and at some point I had a great amount of wisdom to share, but for some reason no longer felt compelled to write it down. 

Spiritual truths are like personal tragedies. You get used to nobody around you talking about it, nobody sharing, nobody discussing, nobody bringing it up. And when you mention it to some people they don't seem to care. So you keep it to yourself figuring no one else is interested.

A lot of things happened to me that I haven't fully recorded. Maybe it's better that I didn't so I can now speak more objectively about things. In the past, I can't believe how caught up I was in family nonsense and drama. Such a waste. And I would go month after month writing nothing -which makes sense considering I was doing nothing with my life at the time. 

There's so much I intend to write and share. I just need to get organized and do it. When we only think about ourselves we get shallow and short-sighted. Everything we write becomes condensed and tightly compacted -limited. It's better to focus on bigger, greater things than ourselves. 

I've also realized how hard I was on my sister for being so caught in family drama for so long. I realized that she's a couple years behind me in overcoming that crap. You have to have patience and let people grow at their own pace.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Checking In with "To-Get List"

So back in June I made of list of movies and music I wanted to get at some point this year. Last time I made a list like that the universe was kind enough to fulfill my requests naturally without me having to buy anything. It was nice. This year hasn't been as successful, but it's still not too bad. 

DVDs:


-Anna Karanina (I still want it) 


-The Hobbit (My dad has it so technically it's within range -aka can be considered achieved) 


-Buffy Season 5 (Still don't got it)


-Lincoln (Still haven't seen it)


-Need to see "Looper" (Saw it and no longer want it. JGL was awesome in that movie though) 


-Need to see "Les Mis" (Saw about an hours worth of this. The movie never seems to end...) 


-Great Gatsby (Got this for dad's birthday so it can be considered achieved) 

-Want to see/own Don Jon 

Music Albums:

-Keith Urban's newest CD "FUSE" (Bought it for mom's birthday -so achieved!) 

-Taylor Swift "RED" (Don't got it)

-Ke$ha "Warrior" (I wanted this?...)

-Keane "Strangeland" (Really want)

-Augustana "Augustana" (Want)

-Evanescence "Evanescence"

-Goo Goo Dolls "Magnetic"

Songs to Download: 

-f.u.n. "We Are Young" and"Carry On"
-Florence and the Machine "Dog Days"
-Marron 5 "One More Night" and "Misery"
-"Somethin' bout a girl..." and "Hey Pretty Girl" by Kip Moore
-"Somebody that I use to know" -Gotye
-"You're my sweetheart" -Lumineers
-"Madness" by MUSE
-"Try" and "Just Give Me a Reason" by P!nk
-"Stay" by Rhianna
-John Williams "O Holy Night" from Home Alone soundtrack
-Keith Urban "For You" 
-Katy Perry "Roar" 
-Miley Cyrus "Wrecking Ball" -despite the video being so stupid, the song is still catchy 
-The Black Crowes "Hard to Handle"  
-Tears for Fears "Everybody Wants to Rule the World"
-WKUK "Dinosaur Rap" (if iTunes has it, which would be awesome) 
-Wynonna Judd "No one else on earth"
-Patty Loveless "How can I help you say goodbye"  
- "Logical" by Supertramp
-"Hallelujah" song (Jeff Buckley?) 
-Daft Punk ft. Pharrell Williams -Get Lucky

Meditation and Ghosts

Saturday and then 2 times yesterday I had unexpected mediation sessions. I think the universe is not-so-subtly telling me this needs to become a regular thing.It was unexpected having the mediation sessions at Toastmasters and then during a business coaching meeting.

I do like the simple-basic mediation. It lasts about 5 minutes and I've got the basic pattern down. 

Step 1: Place feet firmly on the floor
Step 2: Close eyes and place hands gently on legs
Step 3: Breathe in deeply (hold breathe) visualize something peaceful 
Step 4: Breathe out and imagine another pleasant thing 
Repeat Steps 3 and 4 two more times 

Doing these meditations longer than 5 minutes gets me light-headed and a little too in the spiritual zone. My main fear is that raising my spiritual senses will put me more in tune with the spiritual realm in general and then I'll have more negative spiritual encounters like the ones I've been having issues with lately. 

It seems to get worse after I visit with my sister at my dad's house. Things had died down, but the second I spent time there activity picked up at my home. One night I was woken up every hour of the night. Another night I got a text around 12am from my sister saying she was feeling a presence in her room at dad's. 

Lately it seems like the ghost has been sitting at the end of my bed near my feet. Again it would normally be something you write off, but it happens in pattern frequently enough that you can't ignore it. I actually thought for a second it might be my dog Sky who passed away because she used to lay at the end of my bed. But in the past the ghost has also laid beside me, so I don't think that's the case.

Last night sucked especially because of the meditation I'd had earlier. My spiritual senses kept "kicking in" and it was hard to tell  between just feeling my own soul/energy and picking up on the spiritual energy of the ghost. I also felt the presence pretty strongly and it seemed to be closer to my head where I was sleeping. 

While lying in bed I tried using my new spiritual maneuver of "expanding my energy". I'm getting pretty good at it. I can make my energy expand about an inch or two from my body -which sounds weird and hard to verify but you can definitely feel it when it's happening. I'm very analytical when stuff like that is going on. Anyways I lost a lot of sleep because you can't sleep when sensing an unknown presence in the room. Your body won't let you. So as nice and clearing as meditation can be, i think it just makes things worse for my home life.

Social Media Update

I should start charting our progress via visual graphs because I'm weird and like PowerPoint/Excel data collecting. 

(Consequently I stopped counting 4Charity since it has been put on the back-burner for the most part and I'm reconsidering the presentation of the website itself.)



As of July 30, 2013:

Women's Business

Facebook = 235 "Likes"
Meetup = 145 members 
Twitter = 23 Followers  

4Charity
   
Twitter = 33 people following me 
Facebook = 2 people 

My Personal Social Media Sites

Twitter: Following 23 people with 68 people following me
Facebook: 177 friends and I think 3 followers
Pinterest: Following 21 people and being followed by 174
Linked-In: 84 connections
Google +: Following 23 with 13 people following me

As of Today November 21st, 2013
Women's Business

Facebook = 292 "Likes"
Facebook Group = 64 Members
Meetup = 223 Members 
Twitter = 26 Followers  
Linked-In Group = 45 Members

My Personal Social Media Sites

Twitter: Following 22 people with 72 people following me
Facebook: 194 friends
Pinterest: Following 22 people and being followed by 277
Linked-In: 107 connections
Google +: Following 37 with 15 people following me

(30 minutes later...) 


PHB:


ME:

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

#8 Enneagram: The Conquistador (Leo/Sagittarius, Libra/Aquarius, Taurus/Capricorn)



Powerful, Dominating , Self-Confident, Decisive, Willful, and Confrontational

 “Eights are self-confident, strong, and assertive. Protective, resourceful, straight-talking, and decisive, but can also be ego-centric and domineering. Eights feel they must control their environment, especially people, sometimes becoming confrontational and intimidating.

Eights typically have problems with their tempers and with allowing themselves to be vulnerable. At their Best: self- mastering, they use their strength to improve others' lives, becoming heroic, magnanimous, and inspiring.”

·         Basic Fear: Of being harmed or controlled by others
·         Basic Desire: To protect themselves (to be in control of their own life and destiny)
·         Stress: Secretive, lustful, controlling, fearful 5
·         Growth: Open-hearted, caring 2

Key Motivations: Want to be self-reliant, to prove their strength and resist weakness, to be important in their world, to dominate the environment, and to stay in control of their situation.

-Sounds like Leo/Sagittarius, Libra/Aquarius, Taurus/Capricorn, and Gemini 

Zodiacs Listed: 

·         Leo/Sagittarius (9)
·         Gemini (4)
·         Libra/Aquarius (8)
·         Taurus/ Capricorn (7)
·         Scorpio (3)

“We have named personality type Eight The Challenger because, of all the types, Eights enjoy taking on challenges themselves as well as giving others opportunities that challenge them to exceed themselves in some way. Eights are charismatic and have the physical and psychological capacities to persuade others to follow them into all kinds of endeavors—from starting a company, to rebuilding a city, to running a household, to waging war, to making peace.

Eights have enormous willpower and vitality, and they feel most alive when they are exercising these capacities in the world. They use their abundant energy to effect changes in their environment—to “leave their mark" on it—but also to keep the environment, and especially other people, from hurting them and those they care about. At an early age, Eights understand that this requires strength, will, persistence, and endurance—qualities that they develop in themselves and which they look for in others.

Eights do not want to be controlled or to allow others to have power over them (their Basic Fear), whether the power is psychological, sexual, social, or financial. Much of their behavior is involved with making sure that they retain and increase whatever power they have for as long as possible. An Eight may be a general or a gardener, a small businessman or a mogul, the mother of a family or the superior of a religious community. No matter: being “in charge” and leaving their imprint on their sphere is uniquely characteristic of them.

Eights are the true “rugged individualists” of the Enneagram. More than any other type, they stand alone. They want to be independent, and resist being indebted to anyone. They often refuse to “give in” to social convention, and they can defy fear, shame, and concern about the consequences of their actions. Although they are usually aware of what people think of them, they do not let the opinions of others sway them. They go about their business with a steely determination that can be awe inspiring, even intimidating to others.

Although, to some extent, Eights fear physical harm, far more important is their fear of being disempowered or controlled in some way. Eights are extraordinarily tough and can absorb a great deal of physical punishment without complaint—a double-edged blessing since they often take their health and stamina for granted and overlook the health and well-being of others as well. Yet they are desperately afraid of being hurt emotionally and will use their physical strength to protect their feelings and keep others at a safe emotional distance. Beneath the tough fa├žade is vulnerability, although it has been covered over by layer of emotional armor.

Thus, Eights are often extremely industrious, but at the price of losing emotional contact with many of the people in their lives. Those close to them may become increasingly dissatisfied with this state of affairs, which confounds Eights. (“I don't understand what my family is complaining about. I bust my hump to provide for them. Why are they disappointed with me?”)

When this happens, Eights feel misunderstood and may distance themselves further. In fact, beneath their imposing exterior, Eights often feel hurt and rejected, although this is something they seldom talk about because they have trouble admitting their vulnerability to themselves, let alone to anyone else. Because they fear that they will be rejected (divorced, humiliated, criticized, fired, or harmed in some way), Eights attempt to defend themselves by rejecting others first. The result is that average Eights become blocked in their ability to connect with people or to love since love gives the other power over them, reawakening their Basic Fear.

The more Eights build up their egos in order to protect themselves, the more sensitive they become to any real or imaginary slight to their self-respect, authority, or preeminence. The more they attempt to make themselves impervious to hurt or pain (whether physical or emotional), the more they “shut down” emotionally to become hardened and rock-like.

When Eights are emotionally healthy, however, they have a resourceful, “can-do” attitude as well as a steady inner drive. They take the initiative and make things happen with a great passion for life. They are honorable and authoritative—natural leaders who have a solid, commanding presence. Their groundedness gives them abundant “common sense” as well as the ability to be decisive. Eights are willing to “take the heat,” knowing that any decision cannot please everyone. But as much as possible, they want to look after the interests of the people in their charge without playing favorites. They use their talents and fortitude to construct a better world for everyone in their lives.”