Success-Oriented, Pragmatic, Adaptive, Excelling, Driven, and
Image-Conscious
“Threes are self-assured, attractive,
and charming. Ambitious, competent, and energetic, they can also be
status-conscious and highly driven for advancement. They are diplomatic and
poised, but can also be overly concerned with their image and what others think
of them. They typically have problems with workaholism and competitiveness. At
their Best: self-accepting, authentic, everything they seem to be—role models
who inspire others.”
Basic Fear: Of being worthless
Basic Desire: To feel valuable
and worthwhile
Stress: Disengaged, apathetic 9
Growth: Cooperative, committed 6
Key Motivations: Want to
be affirmed, to distinguish themselves from others, to have attention, to be
admired, and to impress others.
-Sounds like: Leo/Saggitarius, Cancer/Scorpio,
Gemini/Libra, Virgo/Capricorn
Zodiacs listed:
·
Leo/Sagittarius
(11)
·
Caner/Scorpio
(11)
·
Gemini/Libra
(7)
·
Virgo/Capricorn
(8)
“We have named personality type Three
The Achiever because when they are healthy, Threes really can and do achieve
great things in the world. They are the "stars" of human nature, and
people often look up to them because of their graciousness and personal
accomplishments. Healthy Threes know how good it feels to develop themselves
and contribute their abilities to the world, and also enjoy motivating others
to greater personal achievements than others thought they were capable of. They
are usually well regarded and popular among their peers, the type of person who
is frequently voted “class president" or “home coming queen” because
people feel they want to be associated with this kind of person who acts as a
stand-in for them. Healthy Threes embody the best in a culture, and others are
able to see their hopes and dreams mirrored in them.
Threes are often successful and well
liked because, of all the types, they most believe in themselves and in
developing their talents and capacities. Threes act as living “role models” and
paragons because of their extraordinary embodiment of socially valued
qualities. Healthy Threes know that they are worth the effort it takes to be
“the best that they can be.” Their success at doing so inspires others to
invest in their own self-development.
Threes want to make sure their lives
are a success, however that is defined by their family, their culture and their
social sphere. In some families, success means having a lot of money, a grand
house, a new, expensive car, and other status symbols. Others value ideas, and
success to them means distinguishing oneself in academic or scientific worlds.
Success in other circles might mean becoming famous as an actor, or model, or
writer, or as a public figure of some kind, perhaps as a politician. A
religious family might encourage a child to become a minister, priest, or rabbi
since these professions have status in their community and in the eyes of the
family. No matter how success is defined, Threes will try to become somebody
noteworthy in their family and their community. They will not be a “nobody.”
To this end, Threes learn to perform
in ways that will garner them praise and positive attention. As children, they
learned to recognize the activities that were valued by their parents or peers,
and put their energies into excelling in those activities. Threes also learned
how to cultivate and develop whatever about them is attractive or potentially
impressive.
Everyone needs attention,
encouragement, and the affirmation of their value in order to thrive, and
Threes are the type which most exemplifies this universal human need. Threes
want success not so much for the things that success will buy (like Sevens), or
for the power and feeling of independence that it will bring (like Eights).
They want success because they are afraid of disappearing into a chasm of
emptiness and worthlessness: without the increased attention and feeling of
accomplishment which success usually brings, Threes fear that they are nobody
and have no value.
The problem is that, in the headlong
rush to achieve whatever they believe will make them more valuable, Threes can
become so alienated from themselves that they no longer know what they truly
want, or what their real feelings or interests are. In this state, they are
easy prey to self–deception, deceit, and falseness of all kinds. Thus, the
deeper problem is that their search for a way to be value increasingly takes
them further away from their own Essential Self with its core of real value.
From their earliest years, as Threes become dependent on receiving attention
from others and in pursuing the values that others reward, they gradually lose
touch with themselves. Step by step, their own inner core, their “heart’s
desire,” is left behind until they no longer recognize it.
Thus, while they are the primary type
in the Feeling Center, Threes, interestingly, are not known as “feeling”
people; rather, they are people of action and achievement. It is as if they
“put their feelings in a box” so that they can get ahead with what they want to
achieve. Threes have come to believe that emotions get in the way of their
performance, so they substitute thinking and practical action for feelings.
Threes report that when they realize
to what extent they have adapted their lives to the expectations of others, the
question arises, “Well, then, what do I want?” They often simply did not know;
it was not a question that had ever come up before. Thus, the fundamental
dilemma of Threes is that they have not been allowed to be who they really are
and to manifest their own authentic qualities. At a young age, they got the
message that they were not allowed to have feelings and be themselves: they
must, in effect, be someone else to be accepted. To some degree, all of the
personality types have been sent the same message, but because of their
particular background and makeup, Threes not only heard it, they began to live
by it. The attention they received by performing in a certain way was their
oxygen, and they needed it to breathe. Unfortunately, it came at a high price.”
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