Was reflecting on this this morning. Especially since this has been going on for a couple years now.
The overt racism on Twitter somehow becomes tolerable. It's still shocking every once in a while because we're used to polite conversations and most people have some semblance of honor or respect towards others. But it's also the fact that you don't know those individuals but know of them and the fact that they exist. So you acclimate and acknowledge "Twitter Trolls" that are neo-nazis, racists, xenophobic, homophobic, and sometimes preach violence against women. The lowest common denominators of people.
Facebook on the other hand has always been the greater challenge. It's rarely if ever overt, intended racism. It always comes from a place of genuine ignorance. When you're raised your entire life as a member of one race it can be hard to look beyond yourself and begin to grasp the way people of other races experience this world. It creates blind spots -and not just with racism, but everything else as well.
And so in spite of people not intending to be maliciously harmful, they say and post things that are racist without genuinely being aware of it. They hate racism and condemn it while simultaneously perpetuating it in ways they'd never considered. And the same applies for xenophobia, homophobia, and misogyny. And it becomes a challenging landscape to navigate and the reason Facebook disturbs me more sometimes than the legions of Twitter.
We live in a world of 7 billion people. The notion that we should all be the same in next to any respect seems more and more an absurdity -especially taking God into consideration. I look at the vast array of flowers in the jungle and know that God loves diversity. I look at the reptiles, and birds, and mammals, and fish in every iteration and know God loves variety. The world is the canvas and we are the painting.
I pray people come to see with that kind of vision and appreciation for this beauty we have been bestowed with. But also take up the responsibility as a human to strive to understand it. You can't appreciate something you are simultaneously oblivious to. You also can't understand the ways in which this intended grace is being infringed upon or in some instances Destroyed.
Ignorance is not bliss. It's a blindness that makes people rejoice over suffering. Ignorance then becomes itself a kind of suffering.
Saturday, September 30, 2017
Thursday, September 28, 2017
Spiritual Practices
New, helpful spiritual practices have been coming up lately -which is awesome. Some days you really start to feel like, "How is my soul going to make it through a world this far removed from intuitive instinct?" So it's important to reclaim your space and invite God's presence in wherever you are and whatever you're doing. Be the catalyst for that shift and that grace to come through.
#1 Childhood Memories
I mentioned that these have been coming up a lot more. Taking yourself back to a time in your past that was nostalgic, spiritually connected, and innocent is important. Before the world molded you with its influence -who were you as a soul? Connecting to childhood moments and mementos takes you back to that State of Being which is usually the state we're trying to get back to.
#2 Mysticism
I have issues with this one because -as it is wither everything spiritual -the way some people live certain spiritual aspects of life out can leave a negative affiliation with whatever aspect that is.
-Someone ruining a religion? Well great, now it has a crappy connotation to it when you think about it. (sarcasm)
-Someone take a deeply meaningful religious symbol and screw it over to represent something dark and hateful? Great, cause know you'll never be able to look at it the same. (sarcasm)
Sarcastic tone really does need its own font at this point.
With mysticism this issue is lived out negatively with the mentalities of people becoming so far removed from grounding in reality that they seem incoherent, unintelligible, and aloof. It's too "out there" sometimes.
And yet in reality this "energy" speaks to a part of Heaven that's intended to come through. Something that does fall under the category of "magical". It's awe inspiring and leads you further into exploration and curiosity. Tap into it however you can.
#3 Prayer
Pray on your way to work. Pray over your work place and the people in it. Pray over the work that you do. Pray over the donut you just ate. I find that it's realllllllyyyyy hard to be angry and upset with anything when you pray. It's probably one of the most important spiritual practices a person can enact.
Pray for good to come through, pray in thanks for what good has happened, pray others experience the good...
#4 Listen to Nature
Normally I'd say "get in nature" -as in take a walk through the park. But this is specifically LISTEN to nature. Listen to the rain. Listen to the wind move through the trees. Listen to the birds. Listen to crickets chirping.
Your mind is like a radio station and if you want to tune into the frequency of God -listening to nature is the place to begin. For whatever reason (I suspect because nature is so deeply connected with spirituality and emulates it) listening to nature helps redirect your being into greater alignment with Heaven.
#5 See the Good in the Bad
This has 2 meanings and has been coming up a LOT lately.
We have a situation where the souls of people are like a vast, radiant light in the sky that can't be put out. Like the Sun in the sky making things day instead of night. But there are these dark, overhead clouds that some people allow to move in and drown out the sun and make the sky Appear dark -even though it's still daytime. What we get pissed at all the time with other people is the Darkness shadowing their light. It's not people themselves as souls but that which covers and buries the soul within -things like hatred, bigotry, the vile, greed...
The distinction between getting angry at people and taking issue with things that don't actually Come from those people needs to be made. As Christians would put it, "Hate the sin -not the sinner."
The other meaning to this that's come up is seeing through to the silver lining. What good came from Hurricane Harvey? Most people would think: NONE. It was utterly devastating natural disaster that took people's lives.
And yet so many people came through, humbled themselves, set aside any "differences" that could ever been named, gave generously, and even Trump started acting presidential and compassionate. All that mattered was Helping People and being there for people -which IS ultimately all that matters.
So the good in the bad is essential to clearly understanding what's going on spiritually and what's underlying everything.
#6 Intuitive Shopping
This doesn't actually mean buying anything. I would actually recommend going to somewhere like Goodwill and just wandering around.
2 things happen when you intuitively shop:
-Spiritual messages come through pretty clearly about things Heaven wants you to know -but not necessarily what it wants you to purchase.
-You are put in alignment with what you're intended to receive and you get more familiar with distinguishing what you want because "it looks cool", what you want because "you think that maybe you're meant to have it?", and what you want because "it's not just you wanting it -it's something you're intuitively drawn to and are meant to have".
God doesn't want people to be shopaholics, but there are things we're divinely intended to receive and get sometimes. If most people shopped this way they'd have what they were meant for and would never have the desire to own anything else outside of that understanding. They'd be content with what they had and would realize when they were meant to receive something else, it would come about pretty naturally.
#1 Childhood Memories
I mentioned that these have been coming up a lot more. Taking yourself back to a time in your past that was nostalgic, spiritually connected, and innocent is important. Before the world molded you with its influence -who were you as a soul? Connecting to childhood moments and mementos takes you back to that State of Being which is usually the state we're trying to get back to.
#2 Mysticism
I have issues with this one because -as it is wither everything spiritual -the way some people live certain spiritual aspects of life out can leave a negative affiliation with whatever aspect that is.
-Someone ruining a religion? Well great, now it has a crappy connotation to it when you think about it. (sarcasm)
-Someone take a deeply meaningful religious symbol and screw it over to represent something dark and hateful? Great, cause know you'll never be able to look at it the same. (sarcasm)
Sarcastic tone really does need its own font at this point.
With mysticism this issue is lived out negatively with the mentalities of people becoming so far removed from grounding in reality that they seem incoherent, unintelligible, and aloof. It's too "out there" sometimes.
And yet in reality this "energy" speaks to a part of Heaven that's intended to come through. Something that does fall under the category of "magical". It's awe inspiring and leads you further into exploration and curiosity. Tap into it however you can.
#3 Prayer
Pray on your way to work. Pray over your work place and the people in it. Pray over the work that you do. Pray over the donut you just ate. I find that it's realllllllyyyyy hard to be angry and upset with anything when you pray. It's probably one of the most important spiritual practices a person can enact.
Pray for good to come through, pray in thanks for what good has happened, pray others experience the good...
#4 Listen to Nature
Normally I'd say "get in nature" -as in take a walk through the park. But this is specifically LISTEN to nature. Listen to the rain. Listen to the wind move through the trees. Listen to the birds. Listen to crickets chirping.
Your mind is like a radio station and if you want to tune into the frequency of God -listening to nature is the place to begin. For whatever reason (I suspect because nature is so deeply connected with spirituality and emulates it) listening to nature helps redirect your being into greater alignment with Heaven.
#5 See the Good in the Bad
This has 2 meanings and has been coming up a LOT lately.
We have a situation where the souls of people are like a vast, radiant light in the sky that can't be put out. Like the Sun in the sky making things day instead of night. But there are these dark, overhead clouds that some people allow to move in and drown out the sun and make the sky Appear dark -even though it's still daytime. What we get pissed at all the time with other people is the Darkness shadowing their light. It's not people themselves as souls but that which covers and buries the soul within -things like hatred, bigotry, the vile, greed...
The distinction between getting angry at people and taking issue with things that don't actually Come from those people needs to be made. As Christians would put it, "Hate the sin -not the sinner."
The other meaning to this that's come up is seeing through to the silver lining. What good came from Hurricane Harvey? Most people would think: NONE. It was utterly devastating natural disaster that took people's lives.
And yet so many people came through, humbled themselves, set aside any "differences" that could ever been named, gave generously, and even Trump started acting presidential and compassionate. All that mattered was Helping People and being there for people -which IS ultimately all that matters.
So the good in the bad is essential to clearly understanding what's going on spiritually and what's underlying everything.
#6 Intuitive Shopping
This doesn't actually mean buying anything. I would actually recommend going to somewhere like Goodwill and just wandering around.
2 things happen when you intuitively shop:
-Spiritual messages come through pretty clearly about things Heaven wants you to know -but not necessarily what it wants you to purchase.
-You are put in alignment with what you're intended to receive and you get more familiar with distinguishing what you want because "it looks cool", what you want because "you think that maybe you're meant to have it?", and what you want because "it's not just you wanting it -it's something you're intuitively drawn to and are meant to have".
God doesn't want people to be shopaholics, but there are things we're divinely intended to receive and get sometimes. If most people shopped this way they'd have what they were meant for and would never have the desire to own anything else outside of that understanding. They'd be content with what they had and would realize when they were meant to receive something else, it would come about pretty naturally.
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
A Thinning Veil
The veil between this world and the spiritual, world beyond it is clearing. In the past couple days, for me at least, this has caused 3 simultaneous effects:
#1 Heaven is Closer.
It's night like Heaven just now decided to draw near -it's been close the whole time -that fact is just made clearer now. It's the difference between an overcast sky at night and seeing the sky so clearly you can call every star out by name.
Jesus in particular has drawn near and I feel His presence regularly throughout my day now -which is awesome!
The intentions and influence of Heaven has also been made clearer. Childhood stuff has been coming up the past week. Old photos of me as a kid, my old toys and school work, and glimpses of long lost memories popping through of nostalgic times as a kid. I was really spiritual when I was young and it's clear I'm meant to be tapping into that part of me that's still in here somewhere.
#2 The World is Nauseous
There are these negative energy spikes that keep popping up off and on. When they hit it's like trying not to vomit when you're nauseous and the littlest thing can set you off. Only with this it's mostly Anger that comes up.
My mom told me I need to wear makeup for my job interview -emphasis on the makeup. It was like nails on chalkboard. I wear some makeup but I don't glob it on or anything. So it hit me in two ways:
-You're not beautiful enough as is
-You need to be pretty to impress your boss (aka Sexism 101)
But I know that's not her intention. Out in rural settings where she's from women wear TONS of makeup. It's like the 80's never ended. Tons of blush, spray tans, eye shadow... And if you don't wear makeup the automatic assumption is either you're sick, you're tired, or you've "given up". So there's a lot of cultural emphasis on girls wearing makeup in the country.
In the city it's the opposite. I've maybe met 1 out of the 30 or so women in the city here that wears makeup. Same applied back in San Jose, CA. Makeup in the city is affiliated with girls who party, drink, and are generally less intelligent. They're either vain or vapid. You wear lots of makeup to a job interview in the city it will HURT your chances of getting hired. Businesses also want to cut down on sexual harassment so they don't get sued and women that are seen as overtly sexual are also considered a "liability".
But trying to explain this to her is next to impossible. And it's come up multiple times in the past. She acts like if my sister and I don't wear makeup we'll fail in life in someway -which makes me feel like I'm being told I'm not good enough as is.
(Call me crazy but I always think no makeup is the more beautiful of the two. Also -women can do whatever the hell they want and wear whatever they want makeup-wise. Makeup does not equate to brain density.)
So this had me in a mental hamster wheel most of yesterday. then today it was $15 parking for 1 hour because I went into Denver. $15 for 1 hour in a parking lot. That's ridiculous.
Then later it was the usual ignorantly racist posts I unfortunately come across on Facebook all the time (one of the reasons I avoid FB). Christ took the cross to try and end human suffering. Taking a knee is the least we can do to address the fact that God's children are being unjustly killed. Saying the main issue is "Anti-patriotism" as someone enacts their First Amendment Right to speak against abuses that go against American principles and what the flag is supposed to stand for seems ironically hypocritical.
It's these little things that spike anger in you out of nowhere and haunt you throughout the day. I had to remind myself to focus more on "Being" and not worrying. Connecting to Heaven helps navigate through these tumultuous, negative energy bursts going on behind the scenes. Tensions are high.
#3 Feeling My Way Through the City
You can tell -in part because of the anger whirling in your head because of previous day troubles -where the pockets in various areas are where Heaven is coming through. Some places seem almost claustrophobic in chaos. I don't know how people can stand living in the main, crowded city. Other areas are serene and calm -almost as if someone turned off the white noise playing in the background from a stereo.
And in some of those places God's presence comes through on its own pretty profoundly. The clouds may as well have parted and shown angels above singing, "Welcome back!"
I pray as I drive. More and more. I pray over the areas I drive through and people who pass me by. I pray over businesses, and cars, and buses, and people j-walking. Everything.
But I don't pray in the spaces where Heaven comes through. I think to, but then don't because I can feel that it's already spoken for and taken care of. It's like blessing God. It's just not needed there.
So be mindful and clear with yourself on your thoughts and what's influencing them and how you're reacting. Heaven is making the final pushes towards coming through and time is passing faster and things are happening quicker.
#1 Heaven is Closer.
It's night like Heaven just now decided to draw near -it's been close the whole time -that fact is just made clearer now. It's the difference between an overcast sky at night and seeing the sky so clearly you can call every star out by name.
Jesus in particular has drawn near and I feel His presence regularly throughout my day now -which is awesome!
The intentions and influence of Heaven has also been made clearer. Childhood stuff has been coming up the past week. Old photos of me as a kid, my old toys and school work, and glimpses of long lost memories popping through of nostalgic times as a kid. I was really spiritual when I was young and it's clear I'm meant to be tapping into that part of me that's still in here somewhere.
#2 The World is Nauseous
There are these negative energy spikes that keep popping up off and on. When they hit it's like trying not to vomit when you're nauseous and the littlest thing can set you off. Only with this it's mostly Anger that comes up.
My mom told me I need to wear makeup for my job interview -emphasis on the makeup. It was like nails on chalkboard. I wear some makeup but I don't glob it on or anything. So it hit me in two ways:
-You're not beautiful enough as is
-You need to be pretty to impress your boss (aka Sexism 101)
But I know that's not her intention. Out in rural settings where she's from women wear TONS of makeup. It's like the 80's never ended. Tons of blush, spray tans, eye shadow... And if you don't wear makeup the automatic assumption is either you're sick, you're tired, or you've "given up". So there's a lot of cultural emphasis on girls wearing makeup in the country.
In the city it's the opposite. I've maybe met 1 out of the 30 or so women in the city here that wears makeup. Same applied back in San Jose, CA. Makeup in the city is affiliated with girls who party, drink, and are generally less intelligent. They're either vain or vapid. You wear lots of makeup to a job interview in the city it will HURT your chances of getting hired. Businesses also want to cut down on sexual harassment so they don't get sued and women that are seen as overtly sexual are also considered a "liability".
But trying to explain this to her is next to impossible. And it's come up multiple times in the past. She acts like if my sister and I don't wear makeup we'll fail in life in someway -which makes me feel like I'm being told I'm not good enough as is.
So this had me in a mental hamster wheel most of yesterday. then today it was $15 parking for 1 hour because I went into Denver. $15 for 1 hour in a parking lot. That's ridiculous.
Then later it was the usual ignorantly racist posts I unfortunately come across on Facebook all the time (one of the reasons I avoid FB). Christ took the cross to try and end human suffering. Taking a knee is the least we can do to address the fact that God's children are being unjustly killed. Saying the main issue is "Anti-patriotism" as someone enacts their First Amendment Right to speak against abuses that go against American principles and what the flag is supposed to stand for seems ironically hypocritical.
It's these little things that spike anger in you out of nowhere and haunt you throughout the day. I had to remind myself to focus more on "Being" and not worrying. Connecting to Heaven helps navigate through these tumultuous, negative energy bursts going on behind the scenes. Tensions are high.
#3 Feeling My Way Through the City
You can tell -in part because of the anger whirling in your head because of previous day troubles -where the pockets in various areas are where Heaven is coming through. Some places seem almost claustrophobic in chaos. I don't know how people can stand living in the main, crowded city. Other areas are serene and calm -almost as if someone turned off the white noise playing in the background from a stereo.
And in some of those places God's presence comes through on its own pretty profoundly. The clouds may as well have parted and shown angels above singing, "Welcome back!"
I pray as I drive. More and more. I pray over the areas I drive through and people who pass me by. I pray over businesses, and cars, and buses, and people j-walking. Everything.
But I don't pray in the spaces where Heaven comes through. I think to, but then don't because I can feel that it's already spoken for and taken care of. It's like blessing God. It's just not needed there.
So be mindful and clear with yourself on your thoughts and what's influencing them and how you're reacting. Heaven is making the final pushes towards coming through and time is passing faster and things are happening quicker.
Sunday, September 24, 2017
Modern Day Martyrs
Heather Hayes
Philando Castile
Justine Damond
Tamir Rice
...and many, many, many more.
They were all acknowledged to be completely innocent -and in some instances they were just children. Their deaths each highlight different issues that have become prevalent in our country and the world itself. And there are more.
Many transgender people murdered. Many woman shot and killed for refusing a man's sexual advances.
The rape/murder attacks on women (in India and South America in particular). The femicide of Mexico.
So many light souls being tainted with darkness that the world might come together to denounce these acts of hatred and violence.
And I think something might happen to me.
I've suspected it for a while now. But it's been confusing. When you draw near to Heaven and connect to divine beings and God on a regular basis it's hard to tell if they're leading you closer to Heaven on Earth, or trying to tell you that you will come home to Heaven itself soon.
This past week clarified things a bit more.
I kept coming across letters, documents, and poems left by past relatives. It's amazing that 60 years if life can leave nothing left behind for you to hold onto that a piece of paper.
With my grandma Jean, since we were so close, I grabbed everything I could. I have her umbrella with her name carved into it. I have some old Chinese curio items since she had an affinity for that kind of artistry and culture. I have an old, wooden peacock carved from some foreign country. And today I found the booklet from her funeral ceremony.
I've been looking through MY past documents these past 2 weeks. I now have childhood, high school, college, and previous jobs organized into separate boxes. I also have an art and spirituality box. I didn't realize until today why it was so important for me to get this done now. I feel like it's meant to be left for other people so they can walk through what remains of my life more easily when the time comes.
I'm not sure when it will come. I've gotten the sense that maybe later in winter something will happen. And I don't even know if I'll die or I'll just be injured or something.
But when I was putting my past into separate boxes there was just something about it that felt complete and Done. And I think it was meant to help me let go of the "present" and where I'm at now in life.
So today when I went to do a mediation and look at angel cards, I went strait for the Past Life deck to see what the point of this current life has been and when/how I'm going to die.
Present life came through very easily and makes sense.
The Arts to help me connect to "the universe" and all that there is spiritually as well as depicting it.
The Scribe and Writer to do what I'm doing now -experience and help others understand the way life unfolds and how to recognize lessons and blessings when they're occurring.
Trees -aka Nature - to help get me in better alignment with God and things like Trust + Faith. Trust + Faith might as well be its own category -especially over the past couple of years where I've learned that God IS in control even when it feels like I'm not.
Then I decided to stop beating around the bush and I asked outright -How will I die?
The first card that came up was "Biblical". Which is what I've been thinking of specifically the past couple of days now -and in all honesty the past couple years. A Martyr of some kinds for some cause.
Then I decided to ask more specifically HOW will I be killed.
I got "Authority Figures".
That gavel may as well be an ax on an execution block.
I'm not frightened or worried. Kind of sad. That there is even a possibility it could happen is kind of saddening.
We throw lives away too easily in this life. We don't value one another enough. We don't see through to the souls of people. Only perceived threats and ignorant judgments.
I know I'm meant to keep doing my artwork more than anything. For some reason the current piece that I'm working on is supposed to be especially significant. So I'll just keep living as if there were nothing to fear because right now I don't feel like I fear anything.
It's just a quiet acceptance and a distant melancholy.
***Update 9/25/17: I was brought more clarity an understanding around all this last night. The first thing I was reminded of is that there are clearly other things I'm meant to do in the future. I've been told this in dreams before, but was so preoccupied by the notion something bad was going to happen that I forgot how clear Heaven has been about it. Not a martyr -but a "near death experience" meant to bring me closer to Heaven so I can go forward and do what I'm intended to do. That gavel image was also brought some clarity: I'm going to jury duty next week which takes place at a Court House. Something might happen there, which is why all of this is coming up this profoundly right now. I've also been seeing a lot of "yield" signs. Not stop signs as if things are ending, but yield signs -like a pause on life.
Philando Castile
Justine Damond
Tamir Rice
...and many, many, many more.
They were all acknowledged to be completely innocent -and in some instances they were just children. Their deaths each highlight different issues that have become prevalent in our country and the world itself. And there are more.
Many transgender people murdered. Many woman shot and killed for refusing a man's sexual advances.
The rape/murder attacks on women (in India and South America in particular). The femicide of Mexico.
So many light souls being tainted with darkness that the world might come together to denounce these acts of hatred and violence.
And I think something might happen to me.
I've suspected it for a while now. But it's been confusing. When you draw near to Heaven and connect to divine beings and God on a regular basis it's hard to tell if they're leading you closer to Heaven on Earth, or trying to tell you that you will come home to Heaven itself soon.
This past week clarified things a bit more.
I kept coming across letters, documents, and poems left by past relatives. It's amazing that 60 years if life can leave nothing left behind for you to hold onto that a piece of paper.
With my grandma Jean, since we were so close, I grabbed everything I could. I have her umbrella with her name carved into it. I have some old Chinese curio items since she had an affinity for that kind of artistry and culture. I have an old, wooden peacock carved from some foreign country. And today I found the booklet from her funeral ceremony.
I've been looking through MY past documents these past 2 weeks. I now have childhood, high school, college, and previous jobs organized into separate boxes. I also have an art and spirituality box. I didn't realize until today why it was so important for me to get this done now. I feel like it's meant to be left for other people so they can walk through what remains of my life more easily when the time comes.
I'm not sure when it will come. I've gotten the sense that maybe later in winter something will happen. And I don't even know if I'll die or I'll just be injured or something.
But when I was putting my past into separate boxes there was just something about it that felt complete and Done. And I think it was meant to help me let go of the "present" and where I'm at now in life.
So today when I went to do a mediation and look at angel cards, I went strait for the Past Life deck to see what the point of this current life has been and when/how I'm going to die.
Present life came through very easily and makes sense.
The Arts to help me connect to "the universe" and all that there is spiritually as well as depicting it.
The Scribe and Writer to do what I'm doing now -experience and help others understand the way life unfolds and how to recognize lessons and blessings when they're occurring.
Trees -aka Nature - to help get me in better alignment with God and things like Trust + Faith. Trust + Faith might as well be its own category -especially over the past couple of years where I've learned that God IS in control even when it feels like I'm not.
Then I decided to stop beating around the bush and I asked outright -How will I die?
The first card that came up was "Biblical". Which is what I've been thinking of specifically the past couple of days now -and in all honesty the past couple years. A Martyr of some kinds for some cause.
Then I decided to ask more specifically HOW will I be killed.
I got "Authority Figures".
That gavel may as well be an ax on an execution block.
I'm not frightened or worried. Kind of sad. That there is even a possibility it could happen is kind of saddening.
We throw lives away too easily in this life. We don't value one another enough. We don't see through to the souls of people. Only perceived threats and ignorant judgments.
I know I'm meant to keep doing my artwork more than anything. For some reason the current piece that I'm working on is supposed to be especially significant. So I'll just keep living as if there were nothing to fear because right now I don't feel like I fear anything.
It's just a quiet acceptance and a distant melancholy.
***Update 9/25/17: I was brought more clarity an understanding around all this last night. The first thing I was reminded of is that there are clearly other things I'm meant to do in the future. I've been told this in dreams before, but was so preoccupied by the notion something bad was going to happen that I forgot how clear Heaven has been about it. Not a martyr -but a "near death experience" meant to bring me closer to Heaven so I can go forward and do what I'm intended to do. That gavel image was also brought some clarity: I'm going to jury duty next week which takes place at a Court House. Something might happen there, which is why all of this is coming up this profoundly right now. I've also been seeing a lot of "yield" signs. Not stop signs as if things are ending, but yield signs -like a pause on life.
Monday, September 18, 2017
Spiritual Synchronicity
This world is ramping up in terms of divine things coming through. It's amazing.
1. My car was almost out of gas, but I thought I could still make it to work and back. 2 hours in I started to get light headed and new I needed water/food to address my low blood sugar but had none. I was running on empty. Managed to make it home on next to nothing -just like my car. I knew that synchronicity was there for a reason -almost like a warning sign.
2. Black Panther. It symbolizes not fearing the unknown but looking forward to uncovering the mystery.
-First black panther symbol was a card I'd drawn from one of the totem animal card decks.
-Second was an old tattoo I came across while sorting through childhood papers.
3. Mermaids. I've come across ton of mermaid images -not just on the internet but just walking around in life. This happened within the past week or so and I knew I was meant to start working on the Angel Mermaid image next.
I've been trying to make my Etsy art sell. Right now it's floating around in an abyss of millions of other artwork -including successful Etsy people. It's invisible. And for the low, low cost of $40 out of my current budget I can buy into Etsy's marketing and promotion so my art is featured more prominently. One day I'll be able to afford the $400 package of really getting my artwork out there, but for now -not so much. So for some reason, this mermaid image is supposed to help address that. Or at least that's the sense that I get. We'll see.
The winged mermaid image in itself represents being divinely light and also deeply infinite. The power of the ocean merging with the eternal vastness of the sky.
This particular image represents a winged mermaid appreciating and recognizing a bird (which can be interpreted as her own Holy Spirit) and fixating on something she herself possess (wings/spirituality).
4. The Dragon and The Blue Crystal.
-The Dragon:
I got this when I was 19 years old. I found out later it actually has a blue crystal embedded in its side (circled below).
-The Blue Crystal:
I got this as part of a women's empowerment group. The leader of the group was very spiritual and basically wanted positive energy from our experiences there to transfer into the crystal so we would have that with us wherever we went.
-The New Dragon:
Was at a consignment store I'd never visited before and when I came across it I picked it up and tried putting ti down and walking away because buying a dragon is "too random". But I couldn't. It was like I was being spiritually tugged back to it and I couldn't walk away. I knew it. I knew I was meant to have ti for some reason. Initially I thought it was the colors: Purple, Blue, Green, Gold = The upper portion of our spiritual being/chakra that I tend to resonate in most. Turns out it was a part of God's most recent kind of message getting through: "I have a plan and will have everything fall into place divinely in ways you haven't thought of. Nothing is coincidence. Everything is meant to be."
-The Art:
I realized these 3 different pieces were coming together. Even a "peacock stone" that had the colors green, blue, purple, and gold in it was placed in the new dragon statue (which you can sort of make out in the picture above) as if he was guarding it.
So I decided since I was working with glitter again (made a Holy Spirit image with that material) that I wanted to make a new piece around the "Heart with Wings" image that had also been coming up a lot.
The heart with wings is based ont he blue crystal, whic reminded me of the blue diamond "Heart of the Ocean" from the movie Titanic. Again, like the winged mermaid, means love is deep and divinely light.
-Then on top of all this stuff coming together, found an old bookmark that had the heart with wings on it. It now hangs in my room -which also has all of these other items in it.
5. Art coming together.
-The Couch Pillows
This was my first indication that something was up. It's like God is my interior decorator piecing together art that I've created throughout the years. Like, "No this goes here -as do you. It all fits together beautifully".
The pillows match the colors of the items. Because before when I got the pillows from an old bag (because they originally were my sister's) I thought, "These pillows are so random and different from one another, they'll never make sense." Then a couple weeks later when I pulled out my artwork; the artwork put them in context.
-The Vibrant Rainbow Colors in My Kitchen
I wish the lighting was better in my kitchen.
All of these pieces are from vastly different times in my life and yet they're all Very vibrantly rainbow colored. It all just kind of came together out of nowhere.
-The Sun/Moon
-The Purple/Blue/Gold Cross
The top of my fireplace has essentially become a spiritual alter. These 3 images were done 2 to 3 years apart each. The first was the Black Cross. I wanted a cross in my apartment but didn't know where to get one so I made one. It represents the weight and darkness of Christ's death and the ability of His spirit to come through in grace even AS the crucifixion was occurring. A lot of people focus on the fact that Jesus conquered death. Not a lot of people focus on how His spirit overcame Dying and the Pain itself.
The second image I made was the one in the center. To be honest, still not entirely certain what it is. It's a divine being. It is Not Jesus or the Holy Spirit which I've depicted many times and always appear consistently in forms that don't look much like that one. It might be some sort of angelic being. I get the sense that it embodies Joy and Celebration.
The third cross was made after I moved to Colorado. It represents the creativity of God coming through. Both the purple/blue and turquoise/green of the two cross have those colors present in the main central image.
I also meditate and do angel card readings on my yoga pillow on the ground in front of it.
My readings have gotten interesting. On the left are my "Areas f Focus" -aka things that are coming up right now that I'm meant to be mindful of that have to do with my spiritual journey and growth. Things like Learning Life Lessons (synchronicity and these signs being one of them), Extended positive spiritual energy to the places that I go, Knowing that I'm being guided, Transformation, New friendships... The center ones have more to do with "Bigger Picture Destiny". I'm ultimately meant to BE spiritual in every sense of the word, be Unique, Take in Nature/Plants (especially with my new greenhouse job), and Connect to Heaven. The ones on the right are "Characteristics to Embody". This includes Confident, Full of Faith, and being JOYFUL -which comes up a LOT.
6. My grandmother's clock.
When I was young my grandma would tell me to sleep in this guest room at her house for "nap time". Only adults need nap time. Kids have wayyyy too much energy to nap in the middle of the day. So I would spend most of my time watching this old, white clock that she had flip over a paper number every minute. I found it entertaining, waiting for the moment when the paper would turn unexpectedly out of nowhere. I tried keeping time to figure out when it would happen, but never really could. This is also why you don't give kids naps. On the one hand I learned to draw from creativity and imagination infinitely to keep myself from getting bored. On the other hand, I think it would drive some other kids insane.
Anyways, if I could of I would have saved that clock and kept it. It reminds me of my grandma who I was and AM very close to, though she passed away several years ago. I tried keeping the pieces of items that reminded me of her. The set of sugar and flour containers with eh birds on them. That weird wooden peacock that rested on her window. Her Asian plate set.
Then when I was in the same consignment store on the same day I got the dragon I came across the most unique, beautiful clock I'd ever seen. It struck me. And AGAIN I went to walk away -not having much money and already committed to getting a dragon out of nowhere, but I was pulled back tot he clock.
The clock depicts Heaven. There is a bridge leading up to a pyramid/mountain and underneath it are angels with trumpets physically twirling around. In the back is a Greek looking building on a hill. When I first got this I didn't know it was essentially a gift from my grandmother. That she specifically wanted me to have it -a way of acknowledging From Heaven that I was thinking of her and she is looking after me.
I ended up having a dream that pretty much laid it all out clearly and I understood after that. It was another piece falling into place.
My apartment -my new home -has been blessed by the graces of God in many forms -as well as my life.
It's all meant to be.
Even when things don't work out they do.
1. My car was almost out of gas, but I thought I could still make it to work and back. 2 hours in I started to get light headed and new I needed water/food to address my low blood sugar but had none. I was running on empty. Managed to make it home on next to nothing -just like my car. I knew that synchronicity was there for a reason -almost like a warning sign.
2. Black Panther. It symbolizes not fearing the unknown but looking forward to uncovering the mystery.
-First black panther symbol was a card I'd drawn from one of the totem animal card decks.
-Second was an old tattoo I came across while sorting through childhood papers.
-The third was the SAME tattoo actually inked onto the arm of a man I know work under at my new part-time job in a greenhouse (like a sign it was meant to be). By the way, my discovery of the temp tattoo came just a couple days before meeting that man.
-The fourth occurred when I realized I wanted a picture to go above my very empty sink in my kitchen. I have a stuffed panther and a stuffed tiger that are currently "on display" in my dining room-toys I had gotten as a kid that now symbolize spiritual protection. I know that's going to sound weird/confusing so here's a picture:
The panther is guarding ancient Egyptian, African, Indian, and Native American relics I have.
I decided to go with a sun/moon and panther/tiger theme. The day I finished the sun/moon image the Solar Eclipse (sun + moon) happened.
I've been trying to make my Etsy art sell. Right now it's floating around in an abyss of millions of other artwork -including successful Etsy people. It's invisible. And for the low, low cost of $40 out of my current budget I can buy into Etsy's marketing and promotion so my art is featured more prominently. One day I'll be able to afford the $400 package of really getting my artwork out there, but for now -not so much. So for some reason, this mermaid image is supposed to help address that. Or at least that's the sense that I get. We'll see.
The winged mermaid image in itself represents being divinely light and also deeply infinite. The power of the ocean merging with the eternal vastness of the sky.
This particular image represents a winged mermaid appreciating and recognizing a bird (which can be interpreted as her own Holy Spirit) and fixating on something she herself possess (wings/spirituality).
4. The Dragon and The Blue Crystal.
-The Dragon:
I got this when I was 19 years old. I found out later it actually has a blue crystal embedded in its side (circled below).
-The Blue Crystal:
I got this as part of a women's empowerment group. The leader of the group was very spiritual and basically wanted positive energy from our experiences there to transfer into the crystal so we would have that with us wherever we went.
-The New Dragon:
Was at a consignment store I'd never visited before and when I came across it I picked it up and tried putting ti down and walking away because buying a dragon is "too random". But I couldn't. It was like I was being spiritually tugged back to it and I couldn't walk away. I knew it. I knew I was meant to have ti for some reason. Initially I thought it was the colors: Purple, Blue, Green, Gold = The upper portion of our spiritual being/chakra that I tend to resonate in most. Turns out it was a part of God's most recent kind of message getting through: "I have a plan and will have everything fall into place divinely in ways you haven't thought of. Nothing is coincidence. Everything is meant to be."
-The Art:
I realized these 3 different pieces were coming together. Even a "peacock stone" that had the colors green, blue, purple, and gold in it was placed in the new dragon statue (which you can sort of make out in the picture above) as if he was guarding it.
So I decided since I was working with glitter again (made a Holy Spirit image with that material) that I wanted to make a new piece around the "Heart with Wings" image that had also been coming up a lot.
The heart with wings is based ont he blue crystal, whic reminded me of the blue diamond "Heart of the Ocean" from the movie Titanic. Again, like the winged mermaid, means love is deep and divinely light.
-Then on top of all this stuff coming together, found an old bookmark that had the heart with wings on it. It now hangs in my room -which also has all of these other items in it.
5. Art coming together.
-The Couch Pillows
This was my first indication that something was up. It's like God is my interior decorator piecing together art that I've created throughout the years. Like, "No this goes here -as do you. It all fits together beautifully".
The pillows match the colors of the items. Because before when I got the pillows from an old bag (because they originally were my sister's) I thought, "These pillows are so random and different from one another, they'll never make sense." Then a couple weeks later when I pulled out my artwork; the artwork put them in context.
-The Vibrant Rainbow Colors in My Kitchen
I wish the lighting was better in my kitchen.
-The Sun/Moon
I didn't originally notice it, but Sun/Moon comes up a lot too. For me Sun + Moon represent Yin/Yang -2 different spiritual energies merging together as one. Like the Ankh. Basically it represents God.
-The Purple/Blue/Gold Cross
The top of my fireplace has essentially become a spiritual alter. These 3 images were done 2 to 3 years apart each. The first was the Black Cross. I wanted a cross in my apartment but didn't know where to get one so I made one. It represents the weight and darkness of Christ's death and the ability of His spirit to come through in grace even AS the crucifixion was occurring. A lot of people focus on the fact that Jesus conquered death. Not a lot of people focus on how His spirit overcame Dying and the Pain itself.
The second image I made was the one in the center. To be honest, still not entirely certain what it is. It's a divine being. It is Not Jesus or the Holy Spirit which I've depicted many times and always appear consistently in forms that don't look much like that one. It might be some sort of angelic being. I get the sense that it embodies Joy and Celebration.
The third cross was made after I moved to Colorado. It represents the creativity of God coming through. Both the purple/blue and turquoise/green of the two cross have those colors present in the main central image.
I also meditate and do angel card readings on my yoga pillow on the ground in front of it.
My readings have gotten interesting. On the left are my "Areas f Focus" -aka things that are coming up right now that I'm meant to be mindful of that have to do with my spiritual journey and growth. Things like Learning Life Lessons (synchronicity and these signs being one of them), Extended positive spiritual energy to the places that I go, Knowing that I'm being guided, Transformation, New friendships... The center ones have more to do with "Bigger Picture Destiny". I'm ultimately meant to BE spiritual in every sense of the word, be Unique, Take in Nature/Plants (especially with my new greenhouse job), and Connect to Heaven. The ones on the right are "Characteristics to Embody". This includes Confident, Full of Faith, and being JOYFUL -which comes up a LOT.
6. My grandmother's clock.
When I was young my grandma would tell me to sleep in this guest room at her house for "nap time". Only adults need nap time. Kids have wayyyy too much energy to nap in the middle of the day. So I would spend most of my time watching this old, white clock that she had flip over a paper number every minute. I found it entertaining, waiting for the moment when the paper would turn unexpectedly out of nowhere. I tried keeping time to figure out when it would happen, but never really could. This is also why you don't give kids naps. On the one hand I learned to draw from creativity and imagination infinitely to keep myself from getting bored. On the other hand, I think it would drive some other kids insane.
Anyways, if I could of I would have saved that clock and kept it. It reminds me of my grandma who I was and AM very close to, though she passed away several years ago. I tried keeping the pieces of items that reminded me of her. The set of sugar and flour containers with eh birds on them. That weird wooden peacock that rested on her window. Her Asian plate set.
Then when I was in the same consignment store on the same day I got the dragon I came across the most unique, beautiful clock I'd ever seen. It struck me. And AGAIN I went to walk away -not having much money and already committed to getting a dragon out of nowhere, but I was pulled back tot he clock.
The clock depicts Heaven. There is a bridge leading up to a pyramid/mountain and underneath it are angels with trumpets physically twirling around. In the back is a Greek looking building on a hill. When I first got this I didn't know it was essentially a gift from my grandmother. That she specifically wanted me to have it -a way of acknowledging From Heaven that I was thinking of her and she is looking after me.
I ended up having a dream that pretty much laid it all out clearly and I understood after that. It was another piece falling into place.
My apartment -my new home -has been blessed by the graces of God in many forms -as well as my life.
It's all meant to be.
Even when things don't work out they do.
New Transitions: End of House Cleaning
Things have shifted a lot and a lot has happened since June? I haven't written anything since June? It's September now.
I've been meaning to write but also felt like it wasn't time and I was meant to be doing other things. And maybe it's appropriate that I write this now. Having formally acknowledged "the good" that was to be found in house cleaning as I move out of that job and embark on finding something new.
The pay and hours were always inconsistent with house cleaning. On average I'd make about $400 to $500 every 2 weeks -barely enough to pay rent. So I took on another job which I love at a unique "vertical greenhouse" that grows crops for local supermarkets. I get to learn about growing plants and work alongside my new best friend Elaine (who was working at the same house cleaning company as me and I invited to work beside me at the greenhouse). The work is physically challenging but I go home happy at the end of the day, so it's good.
Then 2 weeks ago sh*t went downhill with the house cleaning job.
Sunday: You have no houses tomorrow because it's Labor Day -a holiday -with no pay.
Monday: You have no houses tomorrow because people cancelled.
Tuesday: You have no houses tomorrow.
Wednesday: You have 2 houses tomorrow.
Thursday: You have no houses tomorrow.
Sunday: You have no houses.
Monday: No houses.
Tuesday: One house (which was wayyyyyy out in the boondocks of nowhere.)
Wednesday: NOTHING. Not even a text telling me there was nothing.
Thursday: Nothing.
Friday: Nothing.
It was around the first Thursday I started getting really concerned. Like maybe this is their way of "firing" an employee without actually firing someone: just take away all their hours.
I'd been working with a girl who constantly complained about house cleaning, was actively seeking jobs, and would rush through houses to get out of there was fast as she could. As a team of 2 we would then be rated as "not so good" when clients would give feedback on the cleaning. And there was only so much I could do since she became a friend and was team lead. So then it looks like I'm not doing good. Which sucks.
So was genuinely concerned about being fired. Then realized: This company is screwed. At any given time they do not know who Is or Isn't employed. People will quit out of nowhere and just not answer calls and show up. Every couple of weeks it's, "So and so quit." And the people that do work are actively looking for other jobs so they can quit. So even those who are employed aren't necessarily clear to be still in the job.
Imagine a company that is so out of touch with its employees it doesn't know if they are still employed, if they are committed to staying, and when they do quit the response is, "Oh well, moving on..." as if it didn't even matter. The turn-over rate was insane.
Right now an employee who was one of the best they had is quitting after working there over a year because he kept getting marked down for the crappy work his team partner (who already quit) was getting. He was then paired with a new girl who was also struggling.
Right now a girl who's worked in house cleaning over 8 years and 6 months at this particular place is looking for an out.
Right now a girl they recently hired who's only worked there 1 month is looking for an out.
And after 3 months o actually liking the work and the people I was working with, I've officially left the company. No job locked in place to replace it.
I can't work for a place that doesn't employ its employees. 2 weeks of no work is insane.
By the second Wednesday I was driving far into nowhere and waiting an extra 30 minutes because the girl I was being paired up with that day was late. The team lead then introduced me to a new girl they just hired who would essentially become my team lead. The team lead then proceeded to tell me this house clean was a test run so she could look over my shoulder the whole time and tell me everything I was doing wrong. Which wasn't much, but when you get shuffled between different teams and work with 3+ team leads you hear different advice and procedures on how to clean specific things and everyone has their own approach. So I did things right by some and wrong by others.
I was done. I was pissed, I didn't feel I was valued, I felt like this place didn't care about me or would even notice if I left... I was upset nd very angry. And the manager kept saying she wanted to talk to me to go over some new company policy, but then kept saying, "Well can I talk with you tomorrow to go over it, I'm too busy right now..." for several days.
And I thanked God those calls never happened. I wanted to vent and kind of rage-out my thoughts and upset feelings. But I love the manager as a person. She's a great person and I love her personality. But this organization and the way that it's run is deeply frustrating and not at all sustainable.
So I peacefully texted that I was leaving yesterday and the manager wished me well and I wished her well and was glad we could end things in that way. Spiritually it was clear that it was just time to move on top something else.
The main problem I have right now working paycheck to paycheck is instead of making $500 over the past 2 weeks I've only made about $36. I only have part-time work that would not be enough to cover rent. All of this is meant to be happening and I know it, but... Money is a thing.
I've applied to tons of stuff at this point. Doggy daycare, senior center care, cafe cleanup at a museum... interesting things, but nothing's panned out. I do NOT want to go back to working in a cubicle. I've moved on from that. No more being as boxed in as a human can be.
So we'll see what happens. Lots of prayers for clarity, abundance, stability, and fulfillment.
I've been meaning to write but also felt like it wasn't time and I was meant to be doing other things. And maybe it's appropriate that I write this now. Having formally acknowledged "the good" that was to be found in house cleaning as I move out of that job and embark on finding something new.
The pay and hours were always inconsistent with house cleaning. On average I'd make about $400 to $500 every 2 weeks -barely enough to pay rent. So I took on another job which I love at a unique "vertical greenhouse" that grows crops for local supermarkets. I get to learn about growing plants and work alongside my new best friend Elaine (who was working at the same house cleaning company as me and I invited to work beside me at the greenhouse). The work is physically challenging but I go home happy at the end of the day, so it's good.
Then 2 weeks ago sh*t went downhill with the house cleaning job.
Sunday: You have no houses tomorrow because it's Labor Day -a holiday -with no pay.
Monday: You have no houses tomorrow because people cancelled.
Tuesday: You have no houses tomorrow.
Wednesday: You have 2 houses tomorrow.
Thursday: You have no houses tomorrow.
Sunday: You have no houses.
Monday: No houses.
Tuesday: One house (which was wayyyyyy out in the boondocks of nowhere.)
Wednesday: NOTHING. Not even a text telling me there was nothing.
Thursday: Nothing.
Friday: Nothing.
It was around the first Thursday I started getting really concerned. Like maybe this is their way of "firing" an employee without actually firing someone: just take away all their hours.
I'd been working with a girl who constantly complained about house cleaning, was actively seeking jobs, and would rush through houses to get out of there was fast as she could. As a team of 2 we would then be rated as "not so good" when clients would give feedback on the cleaning. And there was only so much I could do since she became a friend and was team lead. So then it looks like I'm not doing good. Which sucks.
So was genuinely concerned about being fired. Then realized: This company is screwed. At any given time they do not know who Is or Isn't employed. People will quit out of nowhere and just not answer calls and show up. Every couple of weeks it's, "So and so quit." And the people that do work are actively looking for other jobs so they can quit. So even those who are employed aren't necessarily clear to be still in the job.
Imagine a company that is so out of touch with its employees it doesn't know if they are still employed, if they are committed to staying, and when they do quit the response is, "Oh well, moving on..." as if it didn't even matter. The turn-over rate was insane.
Right now an employee who was one of the best they had is quitting after working there over a year because he kept getting marked down for the crappy work his team partner (who already quit) was getting. He was then paired with a new girl who was also struggling.
Right now a girl who's worked in house cleaning over 8 years and 6 months at this particular place is looking for an out.
Right now a girl they recently hired who's only worked there 1 month is looking for an out.
And after 3 months o actually liking the work and the people I was working with, I've officially left the company. No job locked in place to replace it.
I can't work for a place that doesn't employ its employees. 2 weeks of no work is insane.
By the second Wednesday I was driving far into nowhere and waiting an extra 30 minutes because the girl I was being paired up with that day was late. The team lead then introduced me to a new girl they just hired who would essentially become my team lead. The team lead then proceeded to tell me this house clean was a test run so she could look over my shoulder the whole time and tell me everything I was doing wrong. Which wasn't much, but when you get shuffled between different teams and work with 3+ team leads you hear different advice and procedures on how to clean specific things and everyone has their own approach. So I did things right by some and wrong by others.
I was done. I was pissed, I didn't feel I was valued, I felt like this place didn't care about me or would even notice if I left... I was upset nd very angry. And the manager kept saying she wanted to talk to me to go over some new company policy, but then kept saying, "Well can I talk with you tomorrow to go over it, I'm too busy right now..." for several days.
And I thanked God those calls never happened. I wanted to vent and kind of rage-out my thoughts and upset feelings. But I love the manager as a person. She's a great person and I love her personality. But this organization and the way that it's run is deeply frustrating and not at all sustainable.
So I peacefully texted that I was leaving yesterday and the manager wished me well and I wished her well and was glad we could end things in that way. Spiritually it was clear that it was just time to move on top something else.
The main problem I have right now working paycheck to paycheck is instead of making $500 over the past 2 weeks I've only made about $36. I only have part-time work that would not be enough to cover rent. All of this is meant to be happening and I know it, but... Money is a thing.
I've applied to tons of stuff at this point. Doggy daycare, senior center care, cafe cleanup at a museum... interesting things, but nothing's panned out. I do NOT want to go back to working in a cubicle. I've moved on from that. No more being as boxed in as a human can be.
So we'll see what happens. Lots of prayers for clarity, abundance, stability, and fulfillment.
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