Monday, May 30, 2016

What to Blog About

It's important to note the shift in blog writing. I'm entering into the 6th month for this year and already I've made twice as many blog posts than I did the entire year before. Some of that was due to being out of work and in an unpredictable environment. It also has to do with clarity of thought and intention. I feel like right now I'm meant to be writing, posting, and sharing understandings. 

I think at some point in the future these blogs will be helpful to look back on should I decide to write a book. That being said I get an average of 3 to 5 new blog ideas each day. I have 2 pages worth of blog topics and I made a rule for myself that I'd only post 3 to 5 blogs each week -preferably 3. This doesn't give a lot of room for thoughts I can't really keep up with at this point. So I've decided to organize my blog topics into categories. It's a good thing I'm organized otherwise I'd be scattered to the wind. 

These are the blog categories I've got:

1. World Issues 
-Sexism/Sexuality/Women + Men/ Relationships 
-Differing Perspectives/ Value Systems/ Vices 
-Government/ Voting
-Humanitarian Issues/ Rape Culture

2. Spiritual Practices/ Understandings/ Practical Uses

3. Spiritual Wisdom + Insight

4. Religious Hypocrisy 

5. Self (Things to do with my life)

From now on after I post a blog I'll add a number to its title so I can denote which category it's in. This also helps me come up with a "theme" for the week. One week I might talk about my thoughts on the presidential election and another week I might discuss deep spiritual truths. 

I'm glad the "spirit of writing" has returned to me. The main issue I have now is deciding which theme of the week to go with. 

Friday, May 27, 2016

Relatives Reaching Out

This was something that came up 2 weeks ago now. I had meant to blog about it, but didn't get around to it so it's a little bit late, but whatever.

That week and that DAY I actually go this card from Doreen's Card drawn:

It was FREAKISHLY accurate for what had happened that day.

I was wondering around Nina's house watching over her dog Cato and I was reflecting on times my Grandma had been there for me in my life and in her "afterlife". My grandma Jean and I were very close and there's this story she once told me about when I was young and she watched over me: 

"I took you to the park one day and was sitting on a bench watching you play with your dino toys in a mud puddle. (I loved dinos as a kid and in my mind it wasn't a "mud puddle" but a prehistoric land of pterodactyls and brontosauruses). A lady was walking past and stopped and said, 'Oh my gosh are you going to let her play in the mud like that!' I said, 'Leave her alone, she's happy.' The lady was surprised and condescendingly said, 'Well...' and walked away. I didn't have the heart to move you. You looked so content playing in the puddle." 

That was my grandma. That IS my grandma. She was a very spiritual, very caring woman. she always so through to the things that really matter. 

She has come through a couple times. 2 of those times she just kind of let me know she was watching over me and that she was proud of me. This last time was interesting because I was having doubts about pursuing the creation of my Coloring Book (which is about 1/3rd of the way done now) and she actually came through and said, "You have always succeeded at artwork in the past. don't doubt yourself now. You were intended for this." 

There are people in Heaven rooting for you and wanting you to succeed more than you can know. 

The next thought that occurred to me that day was actually the times other people I knew had relatives reach out to them. 

My dad used to go out to hedge trees and tend to the plants in his rather extensive backyard that had some pretty massive hills. 

At this point in time I was 18 years old and playing on the computer downstairs. Dad came up to me and said, "Keep your cell phone on. I'm going to trim some trees and if I fall I want to be able to reach you in case you need to call an ambulance." My dad like most men is kind of stupid when it comes to manual labor. They always have to do stuff themselves even if it means risking death. 

So my dad goes out there and a couple minutes later I hear a SCREAM! I run out to see if my dad's ok and he's standing at the bottom of his ladder next to a tree. I said, "What happened?" And he looked kind of shocked and said, "I don't know........ I was on the ladder and I fell straight BACK. I should have fallen down to the next hill below and landed on my back, but instead I landed right below the ladder standing straight UP." 

After a little while of reflection my dad said, "I think it was Grandpa. He always tended to these trees out here and I really feel like it was him and that he was with me and saved me. As an engineer I have no other logical explanation for what happened. It defied gravity. It made no sense. I think it was your Grandpa." 

The other instance I remember was actually my step-dad which is weird because he doesn't believe in ghosts or the supernatural. He's mostly agnostic and distantly believes in God and possibly the soul. He's a very practical guy that has a simple life philosophy of "just be good to people". 

His dad passed away several years ago and even though his dad was old, the passing was still pretty sudden. He didn't cry when he found out and din't cry during the funeral. He kind of just locked up on himself and decided to focus on doing his auto-mechanic work. 

He was in his workshop alone a couple days after the funeral and he was really frustrated and upset over all the things he hadn't said to his dad and all the things he wanted him to know. He was kind of lost in that state and feeling pretty wounded. Then the radio suddenly turned on all by itself. That would have been weird enough but the radio -which had been set to classic rock station -had switched to a "golden oldies" station on its own and started playing music from his dad's time. 

That's when he finally broke down and cried. Afterwards he told the family what had happened. He said, "I can't explain that. I don't know how it happened. Maybe it was him. Maybe it was a coincidence. I don't know. It was just really weird." 

Relatives are there for us. Those that cared for us here still do in Heaven. they want us to know they're STILL there for us. 

Angel Cards #12

Before I go into the cards I have to address 3 inter-related things that sprang up this week:

#1 Nature Quotes. I found NUMEROUS Nature quotes this week re-emphasizing the value of connecting to nature and looking after it. 

"Nature Reclaiming" by Natalia Jablonski

#2 DREAMS. Had more dreams this week, including last night. 

-Had a dream about buying an apartment that was next to my friend Nina so we sort of lived separately, but close at the same time. 

-Had 2 dreams about Pet Sitting for friends that had dogs and cats.

-Had a dream someone walked towards me with intent to harm and I put my hand up and this light came out of it, and I calmly took the persons arm and walked them out a door and they completely forgot about their intent to harm me and just left. 

-Had a dream I went to get an Administrative Assistant/ Marketing job and it turned INTO a graphic design position. Kind of the point I keep getting this week. Whatever job I get my artwork and creativity it bound to follow and emerge in it. 

-Dream last night about more pet sitting, including farm animals.

-I dreamt I compared sheep and was so overcome by the enlightened understandings that I grabbed my spiritual journal and started writing notes in it. I understand now the sheep = people. I got the sense that you CAN compare and contrast people because that is a truth that exists -people are unique. But at the same time, they're sheep so it's more important to look after them than analyze them. 

-Had a dream I owned a dog and was living in a nice house and actually debated getting a puppy but decided kind of responsibly that I couldn't extend my focus to 2 dogs which would be too many to look after, so I just kept the one. 

-I dreamt I was reading this book that was also kind of like a workbook and had completed one "chapter" portion of it and the next chapter involved exploring new places -especially ruins and old places -but chose not to because I wanted to wait until I had a friend to go with me. 

#3 Synchronicity. Met with a woman to day who answered to my profile and asked that I feed her cat for 6 days next week. We had a LOT in common and it was easy to talk with her. She ended up owning an art gallery and loving oil painting in particular. I showed her my art website and she suggested I go to the art district her gallery was in connect with local artists. DEFINITELY felt like we were meant to meet. 

Angels Cards:

Doreen May 23rd: This WAS a good day in the beginning. I was really feeling empowered and well founded in God. It felt like I was going to accomplish a million things that day. Then the Semalt Scam stuff happened and things kind of went downhill from there. It started good though...

Doreen May 24th: Got cards that suggested I focus on the messages in my dreams this week -which have been pretty straight forward and clear. Also got the sense that I shouldn't compromise my empowerment and autonomy by feeling let down or stepped on by different people or situations like the Semalt thing. 

Doreen May 25th + 26th: Again the cards said to "stick with it", have patience, and focus on letting go of past negative habits and abiding by new positive ones. 

Doreen May 27th: I think today's card was more about me NOT requesting aid in ways I then distract myself from actually receiving. Meaning, I can't just ask for a path that leads to Animal Care and profit and helping and healing... and then stray from that path itself into the comfort zone of past familiarity I have no real interest in pursuing. Ask and ye shall receive IF you continue to remind Yourself that YES this is what I want and deserve to have. 

World Issues God Wants People to See

God leads me to be aware of various global issues going on systemically/simultaneously so I can see the PATTERNS in them and what's going on Spiritually. also so I can pray over multiple issues going on that they may come to be rectified. 

Normally this happens by God sending me 3 or more instances of such issues arising throughout the week. This week had MANY. I am meant to shed light on these things as these truths have been made clear to me to show the Patterns of what's going on that something might be done about them. This week's issue is Child Rape.

#1 Child Rape involving high school sports players. People think rape or gang rape has to do with LUST. It's about dominance -very much like bullying is -and demeaning another person so you feel you have more power (over them). 

There was also an instance this week where a 15 year old girl went into the boys bathroom to ask out a guy that she liked. He said, "I will only date you if you sleep with me." The girl had been kidnapped and forced into sex trafficking when she was 13 and had NOT gotten treatment for that issue so when asked to perform sex her Instinct was: Do as this man says or there will be consequences. she had sex with him in the bathroom. Another boy came in and also asked for sex. She complied. Trafficking victims will service 30 to 50 men a DAY. She was doing as she had been forced to do because she didn't want harm to come. 25+ boys on the school's football team then recorded and watched her have sex. Taking advantage of the psychological damage of a sex trafficking victim occurs a LOT -especially in this way. 

#2 Pedophilia in Hollywood. Elijah Wood was on the band wagon of raising awareness of child sex abuse this week by opening up about his knowledge -or at least suspicion -of what goes on behind the scenes in Hollywood. Corey Feldman -a child actor -then reinforced his statement by opening up to the sex abuse he had experienced as a child in Hollywood. The t.v. show Nashville also had its final episode (which was a couple episodes after Ke$ha had cameod on the show) depicting what goes on to young girls in the Music Industry by having Reyna's daughter almost be sexually assaulted by a music producer. 

#3 Raped and Impregnated Teens. I don't know what idiot decided women Couldn't get pregnant via rape, but the 16 year old girl who found herself in that very position was brave enough to comment on the image below posted on someone's Instagram about how much that LIE hurts to hear when uttered by people in their ignorance and bigotry. 

#4 Native American Girl Rapes. 70% of most American girls who are raped KNOW their rapist. For Native American girls it's the exact OPPOSITE. White men will come onto native territory to gamble, they will get drunk, and they will then force themselves on whatever young girl they can find. Because so many children -usually around the age of 12 or 13 -are being raped and impregnated, they actually created a CHILDREN'S BOOK for young girls to read given the frequency and likelihood of being attacked by an outsider at this point. 

#5 Rapes in India and Indonesia. Rapes and gang rapes in particular are becoming common place throughout India and in Indonesia -where a 14 year old girl was gang raped by 10+ men and then murdered -CHILD rape in particular is VAST at this point. 

#6 Rapes in South America. A 16 year old girl got drunk at a party and her boyfriend proceeded to "pass her on" to guys. she was video taped being raped by over 30 men. 

Hell is sinking in its fangs right now. It's delving deep into whatever darkness and pain it can exploit in this world. We need to address this issue as a Global Human Race and end it. Pray God does something to fix this because mankind doesn't seem to know what to do at this point. 

This also makes it clear to me that all of these other so called "issues" people exacerbate in the media don't amount to sh*t in comparison to the actual issues facing people in this world. 

Thursday, May 26, 2016

What's Coming in the Future

I've felt this for a while now but really grasped fully what was going on over this past week. To understand what will happen you have to understand the big picture of what has happened -what the Pattern is. So let me give examples first so you can see plainly what's going on Spiritually: 

#1 Pharaoh + Egypt v. Moses. A bunch of people are enslaved. Children are executed in mass during the time of Moses own birth. Religion is involved. Hell tries to enact it's final swing of pain knowing what's coming, giving it's all to maintain its control with darkness. A leader is then led by God to free an oppressed people. 

#2 Rome +  the Pharisees v. Christ. A bunch of people are enslaved. People in general are being executed in mass quantities. Religion is involved. Hell tries to enact its final swing of evil because it knows what is to come. Christ OVERCOMES. A leader frees an oppressed people and guides them out of darkness. 

#3 Bloody Mary v. Queen Elizabeth. A bunch of people are being executed in mass. One of the darkest reigns of a monarch in tyranny is being enacted. Religion is involved. Hell tries to enact a final swing of evil because it knows what is coming. Elizabeth establishes FREEDOM of religion and liberates an oppressed people from darkness. A Golden Age ensues. 

#4 Civil War v. Abraham Lincoln. A bunch of people are enslaved and brutalized. People are being executed and lynched regularly. Religion is involved. Hell tries to enact its final swing of evil because it knows what is coming. A leader frees and enslaved people and leads them out of oppression and darkness. 

#5 The Holocaust v. The Allies. A bunch of people -including children are being executed in mass genocide. One of the darkest moments in human history is being enacted. Religion is involved. Hell tries to enact its final swing because it knows what is coming. Multiple Leaders from various countries come together and overcome the darkness, guiding people to liberation from oppression. 

What follows:

- The RISE of technology, easier access for understanding and information to pass globally, Enlightenment. 
-Women's Suffrage and Women's Rights Movement
-Hispanic Rights Movement
-Civil Rights (African American) Movement
-Gay Rights Movement
-Liberation of India from Imperialist Britain 

And so we come to today:

#6 Isis and Boko Haram v. ??? A bunch of people -mostly women and children -are enslaved. Many people including children are being executed in mass. Religion is involved. Hell tries to enact its final swing because it knows what is coming. ??? comes and leads people out of the darkness of oppression to liberation. God wins again. 

I sense something big coming in the next couple of months. FINALLY. And with this comes a new shift in Movements GLOBALLY. Not just in one country because MANY countries are united now. It will be BIG. 

God NEVER abandons anyone. It just takes time for God to come through. But He DOES come through. And everything changes afterwards. 

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Scammed (continued)

I went to bed still pretty frustrated about everything that happened yesterday. Whenever I'm in discord with something I try to find my way to peace. And in order to that I have to sort out the deeper underlying issues that are really bothering me. So I mapped it out and reflected on it, and here's what I came to:

#1 I'm not actually mad about the loss of the money itself. 

Once when I was living in an apartment I went out to my car and discovered it had been broken into. Luckily the only things in there of value -and the only things they took -were my CDs. My first thought was, "Well I hope they like the music." It kind of surprised me. I felt proud that in one instant I could easily let go of the material attachment and rise to a higher place of understanding. 

I once, having taken 3 yoga classes, bought $120 worth of future classes. Then stopped going after 2 more classes and actually ended up moving out of that city. But if I had to do it over again, I'd have done it the same. I support yoga in general and in particular that studio because it was a good one. I could make peace with letting go of the money knowing it was going to something GOOD. 

Which is why I am so bothered by what happened. I lost $100 to a company that lies about what it's actual service is and essentially screws people over. All I can do is pray to God that He find a way to see the money into Good hands and Good works. 

#2 The way I was treated by "customer service" is what hurts the most. 

It's a common sense understanding that if you want to succeed in business you can't just get a bulk of transient customers to show up -you need CONSISTENT, Long-Term customers to keep buying. 

This company betrayed that understanding and instead seeks only to profit what they can from customers by catching them off guard and then leaving them in the dust. In other words: They have NO Respect for PEOPLE

And any institution that has lost site of its own humanity isn't a "company" anymore -just a soulless machine. We are HUMAN. You don't treat fellow humans that way. It speaks to a lack of value in Integrity. 

It sucks being treated as a means to an end. As if the only worth I have in the eyes of these people is the $100 the gleaned from me. 

#3 I did NOT want/desire/need the service.

Had I not been pet sitting and had payed more attention to my email account over the past week I WOULD have opted out of paying $100 for their "services". They acted like I consented to this charge while simultaneously acknowledging I have no interest in it whatsoever. 

For a product or service to be financially imposed upon a person -especially one that clearly doesn't want it -and a company to just not care: It's SAD. I realize it does happen and it probably happens a lot, but it's still a sad reality that some companies allow themselves to degrade into. 

#4 So what do you do when you can't do anything?

The Bottom Line -since that's the only thing that seems to matter to Semalt -is that I'm not getting refunded and I'm stuck with this mistake. 

So what is learned? (Beyond just being more savvy when it comes to avoiding these kinds of scams in the future?)

Well the interesting thing is I do work in Marketing. My friend is creating a company that should it become successful would benefit from various online companies that increase marketing success. Had Semalt -or even FastSpring -not screwed me over or been illegitimate companies, I could have easily suggested it to my friend and other people. for example is a service we've been using and I've already signed 3 new people up for it because I knew it would come in handy for them. Asana is a great example that illustrates a service from a company can be Free and Successful. But there are other ones we use and pay for that I highly recommend -like Constant Contact. 

These companies could have benefited not just from me being a customer, but from me referring customers to them. So in the end, THEY screwed themselves over. 

I also take this as a lesson. When my friend does seek SEO help, I'll tell her to steer clear of Semalt and give better suggestions. When my friend does seek a company that helps with customer subscriptions and transactions, I'll tell her to steer clear of FastSpring, and go with something better. 

I don't want ANY future customers she might have getting screwed over like that. If someone wants to opt out of a service they don't genuinely want they should be able to -Period. Otherwise it's just going to end up biting the business back and hurting the company. Pissed off customers taint sales. 

Anyone who trades in the Loyalty of their customers for temporary Profit deserves neither Loyalty or Profit. 

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Got Scammed

It was nice having $99.00 while it lasted.

Got scammed out of it. 

Was using this thing called Semalt -which is supposed to help you with SEO for your website. Decided to use it on a trial basis with little to no charge just to see how it worked. I actually used it on this Blog. It kept registering it like a website, which was kind of annoying, but websites are what it's intended for.

It basically told me that most people get to this site via link -not by keywords. The keywords it then suggested for me to use were bogus and stupid. So I gave up on Semalt after about 2 weeks realizing it had little to offer me or anyone else, but was hopeful that one day in the future someone other company would actually master the art of SEO that way and give keywords that were actually useful.

Then yesterday I find out that several days before they took $99.00 out of my Paypal account under the name, "FastSpring". Was NOT happy. Never consented to paying full service for them -Trust me, they aren't worth it -even from a preliminary perspective. 

So I emailed them and told them, I Want a Refund. I'm not using your services and I don't want to. Cancelled out of future payments. And then they emailed me back saying, "We sent you emails that you would be charged so you have to pay and get no refund. Have a nice day." 

So I check my emails and sure enough they emailed me and it had gone to my spam folder. 

But either way I DON'T want their service. And for $99!!! Are you INSANE??? 

So then I did research online to see if this sh*t had happened to anybody else. Turns out: 

They're a SCAM. "Stay away from this company. Everything I learn about them shows them to be dubious! When I searched on Wikipedia for Semalt guess what came up? They were referenced in referral spam!" 

So craps. I find out not only was a scammed by their stupid subscription method, the company ITSELF is a scam. 

I proceeded to go onto their Facebook page and Linked-In page and spread the word. Can NOT spread the word far enough. 

Personally I think it's the worst kind of customer service when you KNOW a customer isn't interested in what you're selling and they make it abundantly clear to you and you STILL charge them and force your "product" or "service" down their throat. 


SOOOOO Pissed right now. 

Monday, May 23, 2016

Dolphins and Airplanes

Saturday the 21st of May: 

There was a card Doreen had posted a couple days before that night that had dolphins on it and at the time I knew the dolphins meant something, but since it didn't pertain to anything relevant going on right then I largely ignored it. 

Then as often happens I had a dream and ended up in an aquarium with guess what... A SHARK. That's usually a pretty good indication that Hell is trying to get to you when you have nightmares -especially ones about things you are more frequently afraid of. It's never clowns for me. It's never heights. It's never snakes. It's only the stuff your legitimately afraid of. 

So there I was swimming with a shark... or trying to swim AWAY from the shark, when all the sudden this dolphin comes in. The dolphin shields me and stays between me and the shark and the shark evades the dolphin. I woke up with the knowing that a totem animal -a dolphin -had actually been sent into my dreams to look after me. God doesn't just protect you PHYSICALLY in this life, God protects you from all fear and all troubles -including in your dreams. There has never been a time when I haven't called on God or divine beings in my dreams that they then haven't come through and protected me from whatever monster was trying to harm me. 

Sunday May 22nd:

I'm at an airport attempting to pick up my friend. I park the car and get out to meet her. This is my 6th time going to the airport to pick someone up. Normally the wait is somewhere between 5 to 10 minutes -sometimes less. 

I wait under one of the airline banners with passengers who are waiting to be picked up by the cars pulling over by the sidewalk we're standing on. 

After the first 20 minutes I knew that something was different. I acknowledged the unusual delay and immediately came to the conclusion: God must WANT me to be here right now or have something important planned. So as I often do when I'm reminded to do, I started praying over people silently. 

I asked for Jesus to give Peace, Mary to give Love, Holy Spirit to give Guidance, Michael to give Protection and Raphael to keep the Peace over each person or group of people I prayed for. And then I asked Yaweh to come in and fill the entire space with the presence of Heaven. 

There were a couple of people in particular I felt immediately compelled to pray for more than others. I felt like there was an urgency or a necessity to it. 

There was this strange moment however, where this guy was moving to walk past me and our eyes met. At first I attempted to divert my eyes to be polite, but then they drew back and looked right at him and he then diverted his eyes away as if he was ashamed of something. I got the sense that he had hurt someone. Probably a woman. It was weird. 

After about 35 minutes had gone by I got tired of standing so I found a bench to sit on. An Indian man in a purple turban then sat by me. I felt bad for him knowing all the crap he probably had to go through for wearing a turban -all the prejudices and ignorances of people imposed upon him. So I prayed over him and got the sense that God intended to do great things through him so he needed extra attention prayer. So I prayed over him for a good 5 minutes or so.

Then a car that had just picked people up was heading out and the man in the turban started waving his hands and shouting at them. they had left the trunk of their car wide open, so they pulled over and closed it. He kind of laughed and so did I. I knew then he was the kind of man who would speak out and lend aid to strangers if it was needed -one of the noblest qualities a person can possess. 

The man in the turban was then picked up, and an elderly woman came to sit beside me. She reminded me a little of my grandma, so I felt particularly inclined to pray over her. I got the sense that when her time came to pass, whether it was soon or later on, she would rise into Heaven pretty easily without much issue or fear. She seemed spiritually close to God in that way. 

After 50 minutes my friend came out. It felt like God had set me aside for helping people and that praying over people in that way is ultimately how I'm to be led to things like being able to heal and helping people out spiritually. It all starts out small and seemingly unremarkable. But miracles don't just happen, they're brought about over time. You have to pave your way to the impossible by participating in small acts that seem almost ordinary in their spirituality. 

Get in the habit of caring over people as God does. Not just because you know them or have met them before, but because you know God loves them and always will. 

Friday, May 20, 2016

Angel Cards #11

The downside to posting these after a week's worth of time is I have a hard time remembering what the heck happened throughout the week. I've been writing notes down on the cards as I save them to help me remember.

Doreen May 14th

Doreen wrote, "Gifts will come to you today..." I ended up house cleaning most of the day. I kept debating whether or not that was a gift. You can argue that being humbled and working to make things clean is of benefit to your soul, so maybe it was. 

I also felt pretty upbeat and spiritually connected throughout the day. I think sometimes God gifts Spiritual qualities, not tangible things. 

Me May 14th

I had kind of been feeling out of sync spiritually before that day. And I had a lot of questions about the direction my life needs to be heading in as far as career, so this was basically something to Further the sense that I needed to get humble, get in touch, and be calm. 

Doreen May 15th + 16th

On these two days Doreen gave guidance for handling the Retrograde issue. 2 main effects are that some people's Egos flair up and cause them to act in inhumane, cruel ways towards others -which is frustrating to be around -and you get lethargic and tired. Doreen said don't focus on the negative and accomplish things in spite of the sleepy/dream-state by accomplishing small things that contribute to one of your main purposes in life. She actually specifically said, "Journal" or do artwork. So I blogged and went to work on my Coloring Book. 

Doreen May 17th:

These cards came and it was interesting because the first card was about relatives and in the morning I had a deep spiritual insight pertaining to several relatives that seemed interconnected. I plan on blogging about it soon.

The second one was, "Pay attention to your dreams". And this whole week has been one long dream sequence. Another benefit to Mercury in Retrograde: Greater Clarity in Dreams. 

Doreen May 18th:

The Gardening card was pretty surprising given I had a dream about gardening and got the sense it was something I was intended to do. 

The other 2 cards were more about the transition process. To give patience and let the new changes unfold. I get caught up in lists and thinking if I'm not accomplishing something than I'm doing something wrong. That's probably why these kinds of cards pop up so often for me. It's ok to take it easy. 

Doreen May 19th and 20th:

These past 2 days the cards have been about stepping into leadership and stepping into power more. I've definitely felt it. More founded and affirmed in myself. I can tell I'm not alone in those moments. I feel like the Holy Spirit is with me. 

God definitely intends me to grow and become more than I am. I get more and more of a sense for it as time goes on. Just not clear how to get there. I struggle with the balance of knowing God will guide me and knowing I have to step forward and go. 

I also fear that Power will give way to Ego, so I do have to be mindful of and be careful towards not feeding into negative tendencies when in that state. 

Doreen also says to expect more clarity in dreams tonight to help guide me. We'll see. 

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

MORE Dreams

It's been pretty cool to see the Angel cards for this week (which I post on Fridays now). They've been very accurate -especially about dream stuff. 

Had yet another dream about my sister. This is probably the 3rd one in a row and the 4th or 5th one this week. I also saw a lot of different OWL symbols and objects throughout the dream. The owl is her totem animal and her apartment is full of them. I feel like I'm meant to pray for her or reach out to her right now and check in on how she's doing spiritually. I think I need to remind her to draw guidance from her totem animal. 

Later in the dream I saw my step-sister at a high school crying. The school was out in the country and had cows on the other side of the fence next to the playground. My step-sister was crying because she saw 5 guys jump the fence and mutilate the cow with knives until it died. A teacher walked buy and I reported to him what had happened because to me it was a serious offense and concern. I'm not entirely certain what the point of that portion of the dream was, but it was definitely trying to convey an important message. 

The last portion of my dream involved a demon. It was very intense and vivid. I knew the demon wanted to kill me and kept trying to -but it struggled. At some point I called on Jesus and the Holy Spirit and they came through. It was like they took care of everything and I didn't need to fear or worry. People think that they have t take on a negative entity ALONE -which is exactly what the entity wants you to think and feel. But God and the Beings of Heaven can and will intercede with great success if they're called upon. You just have to know how to hand the situation over to them. The thin line between doing something and handing control over. 

Came across this on the internet today. It seemed to echo the messages from the last part of my dream. This was pretty much the attitude required to overcome a demon. Not fear or hatred, but Calm and Assurity. Stay to the Light. 

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Another Intense and Vivid Dream

This dream again brought more clarity. 

#1 I saw myself planting flowers -which I think is an answer to the question I was having about, "Well if I'm supposed to help animals -especially via healing -what about the rest of nature." I got the sense that I'll still end up helping out plants and the environment naturally in my own way. 

#2 I was sitting with a group of people discussing coloring books and ended up suggesting they use mine. I tried to explain to them how mine was different and they wanted to buy them. That was a pretty clear indicator I should continue trying to complete my Coloring Book I've been wanting to make for a year now, and actually working on for a month now. 

#3 My dad and my sister have popped up in the past couple dreams, but initially didn't think much of it. Now I get this sense that these two people are really the CORE of my family. They are the 2 people I trust most and know will always be with me. Again it's a reminder that family will support me wherever I go. 

#4 I saw vast lands of towers and blooming fields that were very vivid. It felt like I was exploring a new land. I think this may have been Heaven's way of conveying what it's like in Heaven. All past cares are nowhere to be found. You just explore. 

#5 This dream also brought an issue to head that I was kind of avoiding. There's a person that I've known from afar and I've watched them over the years mess up, find themselves, lose in love, and then find themselves again. It frustrates me that I can't sever from this person I've kept an eye on for over 10 years now. I'm not even close with that person. But there's something about them that I feel drawn to and connected to. 

In this dream I hungout with that person and got the sense that they were kind of like a brother and that Actually hanging out with that person might be kind of boring. Our souls are familiar with each other and so we're not amazed to be around one another -we're just in a state of "family" bond sort of. 

Then I also met his wife in this dream. I've sort of met her/glimpsed her before in other dreams as well. The guy has popped in and out of many relationships and cheated once -so I'm a little hesitant about accepting this one as "official". But in the dream I hungout a lot with his wife and we were like friends. So I guess in the end it's kind of like, "What happens here doesn't matter as much as the bonds we forge with people. Don't worry about what forms relationships take or whether they last -focus on the lasting bond of unconditional, spiritual love." 

Monday, May 16, 2016

Intense Vivid Dream

Had a lonnnnngggg dream last night that went over some pretty important things. 

#1 I really got the sense that Heaven is leading me to greatness that's kind of hard to conceive of. 

#2 I am DEFINITELY meant to do art/writing.

#3 Whatever challenges come up for me might seem overwhelming -in part because I have seen other people succumb and be buried by the same kinds of issues -but with God's help I am meant to overcome and don't need to worry much. 

#4 I and every other person is really meant to love everyone. As I love my sister, so am I intended to love every other person and being -as family. 

#5 Family will always be an important part of my life -even if they're at a distance. I am meant to support them and they will support me. 

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Sensing Heaven

I house sit/pet sit a lot and am doing right now for my friend Nina. Usually when I come into someone's home and start to settle down/get a feel for the place, after a couple hours I come to a general "sense" about the energy in the home. 

My friend Nina's home is pretty unique as far as spiritual vibes go. It kind of caught me off guard. It's important to note that different Rooms will hold different energies and then the home itself will have an overall energy. In my friend Nina's room I got this feeling like "Excitement", "Exploration, or like "Something Good or Wondrous was Coming". 

When people are spiritual or invite God/positive beings from Heaven in, different aspects of Heaven get captured in that place in combination with the energies the owners and sometimes even their pets put out. 

In my friend Katie's home I got a sense of "Relaxation", "Calm", Buddhism, "Purpose", "Zen". And these things also kind of fit her personality or at least her Spirituality. 

My friend Nina on the other hand is always out and about doing things, Experiencing things, and engaging in life. It makes sense that the sense of "Good Experiences to Come" would be the aspect most drawn into her home. 

My room on the other hand has a different energy. I focus on bringing in "The Light", God's Presence in Particular, and "Opening Heaven Up and Founding It" in my room. My room overall has a "Light" feeling to it. Divinity is pretty easy to pick up on. 

I've also been in other places where the house/space was "Clear" and "Open" -as if there were no negative energy or obstruction energy in the way and the room itself felt vast. 

Places like wedding halls and sometimes churches have more of a vibrant energy -usually of "Joy", "Excitement", and "Celebration". An echoing of the energies of many people and much movement. 

It's important to consciously choose what energies to endow from yourself onto a space and what energy you ask to have imprinted on that space from Heaven. There are many great aspects of Heaven that can be brought it, and it's best to find the qualities that most match your own nature and the kind o room/home/space you're in.

Friday, May 13, 2016

Donating Art Supplies

Had a vivid dream the other night where I was going through my room, gathering up old art supplies I haven't used in years, compiling them together, and then donating them. I woke up and thought, "Well that was a pretty clear message." So part of my spring cleaning right now is going through old art stuff -paint brushes, paint, and markers -and then trying to figure out who to donate it to. 

I found a non-profit called PlatteForum (which is clever because it's near Platte River and plays on the phrase Platform and the use of Forum). This non-profit, in their own words:

Is an award-winning and innovative arts, youth-development, and artist-in-residence program in Denver that teams underserved urban youth (K-12) with contemporary master artists in intensive, structured, and long-term creative learning environments. Youth work side by side with resident artists to collaboratively plan, produce, and exhibit a body of work in an environment in which artistic excellence is highly valued. Youth in PlatteForum’s programs delve into a variety of art forms, confronting challenges and obstacles and making life-changing discoveries about who they are, what they are capable of achieving, and where they belong in the world.

I will be contributing a large tub and maybe more. 

The frustrating thing that's also coming up right now is some relatives on Facebook keep bringing up my past artwork. They say, "why haven't you posted a new painting in a while -don't forget it's your first love..." They act like me going Graphic Design or changing my artistic style will mean I let go of the kind of artwork I've done in the past. 

I tried to explain, Drawing has been the most consistent form of artwork. Outside of that I've delved in many mediums and work has continued to evolve. 

I did watercolor from age 15 to 18 -then briefly took an Acrylic painting class in college. 

I did collage work from age 17 to 22 -then pretty much gave it up because the work is so tedious. 

Graphic Design since age 21 to present (including computer art). 

"Ink design" from age 23 to 28 now. 

So in the grand scheme of things, although some relatives have seen me paint a lot while I was young and in high school -I don't anymore and haven't for years. 

Then another relative basically called me out on Facebook and told me I needed to make a painting for the first relative that complained. I told that person point-blank, "I don't paint anymore. I'll try to create something else for them."

It sucks when people you're related to think they know you, but are so out of touch the only they they can refer to you on i the edfault past memories they had. 

It's like saying, "Oh you must eat lots of strawberry ice cream -I'm surprised you don't go on a diet..." because someone you knew ate strawberry ice cream a lot as a kid, but hasn't for about 5 years now. 

Angel Cards #10

Doreen's Card May 6th:

Be flexible, allow for rest, don't put schedules ahead of your well-being. I feel like this is an ongoing message -probably because the retrograde issue and being pretty tired in general. 

Doreen May 7th, 8th, and 9th

Be patient while things manifest. Stay positive -good things are coming. 

Doreen May 10th

Another reminder: REST! It's hard to set time aside to just breathe instead of working all the time. 

Doreen May 10th

A new path is being manifested. Stay open to the signs. This is pretty true for me right now -especially looking for work. Getting clearer on that. Butterflies have also been popping up a lot this week. I think it means TRANSFORMATION. 

Doreen May 10th

The way this card was explained it basically means CREATIVITY will be increased. Which is very true right now. 

Doreen May 11th

Get out of your head and the "trappings in your mind" where you think things aren't possible. Focus on your Crown Chakra and stepping into spiritual power. 

Doreen May 12th

Look for the signs: Butterflies popping up. I've seen numerous butterfly images and today saw one in person -just another reminder. Let go of negativity and focus on the positive heading your direction. 

Doreen May 13th 

Don't feed into fear and hatred from the world. There's been a lot popping up lately. It makes the world seem like its a dark, bleak place that's getting worse. But things are better than they were and they will continue to improve. These are just the pains someone goes through in a hospital as they're healing before they officially recover. All things in the world will be brought to peace.