Monday, November 28, 2011

Quote Response 3

“Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” Confucius

True. True. I've never really sought vengeance. I'm trying to recall a time when I did. It probably would have involved me at a young age trying to frame my sister for something because she did something I decided to get revenge on her for. Like if she tattled on me for doing something wrong. She was always bringing mom into those situations. I was civil. I told her we could negotiate a peace treaty between ourselves we didn't need to bring the dictatorial monarchy into it. I knew how to handle things with the appropriate conduct. But Em was always braking the code and bringing mom into it.

So Yah, occasionally I would seek vengeance. Usually I was just impulsively spiteful. I felt for some reason like she needed to respect my authority. I felt like I was in charge of her and if she didn't listen or obey me then I couldn't have any control over her. i think it's because my parent's divorced and my mom and dad worked during the day so I was sort in charge of looking out for her at the babysitters and when the parents weren't around. And dad wasn't exactly maternal so I would make sure Em had brushed her teeth and taken her meds in the morning. I would make sure she didn't eat anything with red dye in it. I would make sure she did her homework. I would make sure she was behaving...

But it was hard getting her to see me as an authority figure, so I had to make sure she respected my words. If an "act of defiance" was made against me I had to put I down. I rarely treated her like an equal. I wasn't abusive but I did make threats occasionally and pushed her around. As time went on I found she could take care of herself, so I let her and relinquished my role.

The point is I've never sought revengeance against anyone before except my sister. And it was mostly out of fear. I was afraid of losing respect and control over someone. I needed to make sure she was going to take me seriously and not push me over like a push-over. I think that's why people opt for revenge sometimes. We want people to know they don't have control over Us. We want them to know they are being held accountable and will be made to show respect. But the fact is, respect is earned -not taken. And control over people is an impossibility. Never expect anything from people -they do not live for you, but for themselves. You should accept them as you would a wild animal -you can try to pet it, but if it turns on you or leaves you know that it is in it's nature to do so.

Acceptance and Forgiveness are the only ways to Let Go and Move On.

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