Tuesday, November 22, 2011

"Progress Report"

I have to write this out to make sure my thoughts are written clearly before I give this speech tomorrow. Len is going to be my evaluator L

When I was eleven there was this band I was big fan of. I don’t know if anyone has heard of them. They were called Nsync. They were a great band, had a lot of big hits and won a lot of prestigious awards –especially the Blimps from the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards. I was not obsessed with the band… I was just a little overly enthused.
So naturally when my 12th birthday party began to draw near I decided to invite Nsync to it. I got the fan-mail address from a magazine they were in and I wrote a letter to Lance, Justin, Joey, Chris, and J.C. telling them to come. I also mentioned there was going to be cake and balloons there. I figured I would hear from them sometime before the party since I had my mom mail out the letter to them a month in advance.
Every day when my mom came home from work and she would bring in the mail I would run up to her in the kitchen…
“So did it come today?”
 -“Not today.”  
“Dang it.”
So the next day I would come up again… Pretty soon I didn’t even have to ask she just looked at me and said, “Be patient, I’m sure they’ll write soon.” I secretly began to suspect my mom had messed up sending the mail. Maybe she forgot the stamp or something. Eventually my party came… but Nsync didn’t. I forgave them at the time. They were probably busy touring or something. It eventually dawned on me a few years later that they probably never read the letter. I’m mean at this point it’s been 10 years and they still haven’t written back.  
Late last year I started this thing called a Twitter Account. On twitter I found a singer I was a huge fan of had an account of his own. His name is John Rzeznik and he writes and sings the songs in my favorite band the Goo Goo Dolls. This band and their music have meant a lot to me for a very long time. One day he was mentioning how the critics were raining down on their songs and saying they were a washed out band no one listened to. He said he didn’t care as long as the people who wanted to listen to them still could.
I wrote a tweet in response to let him know I was one of those people. I wanted to hit “send” because his songs have meant that much. But then I thought, he probably gets a lot of tweets like that and doesn’t read them. He doesn’t need another person clogging up his tweet space. What if he responded? What would I say? What if he never says anything? I shouldn’t send it. I wanted to press “send”, but I was afraid. I finally just erased it.
Earlier this year they released a new album. It’s my favorite of theirs so far. I got the chance to respond to something John had said again. I took it. I honestly didn’t think he’d read it or care. I was nervous hitting the button, but I did it anyway. I never heard anything back, but I felt like I had accomplished something by sending it. At least I knew it was out there.
Last summer I started following another singer on Twitter. I just discovered her music -it’s very relaxing, acoustic, and honest. She talks a lot on her blog about her life and her love for tacos. She’s from San Diego so she has "Hippie tendencies" as I like to call them. She also likes to read a lot. I had been making these bookmarks and had tried giving them away to some of my friends, but most of them don’t read a lot of books. So I decided to send a text to this singer to ask what her fan mail address was so I could send her a bookmark. She sent me a direct message back with the address.
I put a bookmark in an envelope and wrote a letter mentioning that this was the second fan letter I had ever written and the first one was to Nsync but for some reason they still hadn’t gotten back to me. I also mentioned my appreciation for Chipotle burritos. I sent the letter, and after the first month past by I figured she wasn’t going to write back. I felt a little dismayed, but I was more concerned that I didn’t know whether the letter had reached her and she had gotten the bookmark, than I was about her writing back to me. I really liked that bookmark.
At the end of the second month I went to my mailbox and pulled some bills and seom junk mail and this weird looking postcard from Poland. I don’t know anyone from Poland. And I couldn’t make out the name on the card so I just had to start reading it to figure out who the heck it was from. It said “Hola mamacita. Thanks for the awesome bookmark. I really love it. Sorry it took so long to write back. I’m glad you like my music. I’m having a blast writing my new album. Hope to share it with you and everyone else soon. –Sincerely Tristan Prettyman”
The point I wanted to share today isn’t that you should all go out and write to your favorite bands –although it isn’t a bad idea. The fact is I remember what it was like when I was younger seeing my sister struggle with her Attention Deficit Disorder. I would watch her get frustrated over simple homework assignments and breakdown crying because she was having problems concentrating. I always wondered but never knew what it would be like to have something like that. Then last I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. I was put on Zoloft and recommended to start taking public speaking classes.
I can’t really describe what it felt like when I found out I had this disorder. Everyone always told me I was just shy. That I would eventually grow out of it. And I had believed them, until I was in college. In college I gained back a lot of self-confidence I had lacked when I was younger. But I still couldn’t bring myself to raise my hand when I knew the answer in class. There was a wall there that I couldn’t break through on my own and it wasn’t something I felt I could overcome or control. You don’t really realize how deeply ingrained something like that is in your life until it goes away.
I’d say it was about 5 months after I had started on Zoloft and joined Toastmasters that I finally felt “normal”. Like I didn’t have to hesitate or worry about being around other people or speaking up. I’m not saying I was Ryan Seacrest or anything, but I felt like I had gained something I had been lacking before. I wasn't hesitant about talking to people. I didn’t feel uneasy or nervous. I felt confident mailing out a letter to a complete stranger I even think would answer back.
The point is this: Progress is rarely made in major events that happen in a short period of time. Progress happens when we don’t notice it happening every day of our lives. We can’t really see it until we look back and notice how far we’ve come. It’s good to know that every day, whether we notice it or not, we’re always moving forward in some way.

3 comments:

  1. "Len is going to be my evaluator" -- the prick. >< He worships Steve Jobs too. ><

    "I don’t know if anyone has heard of them. They were called Nsync. They were a great band," --- I always thought there were a wannabe Backstreet Boys.

    "So naturally when my 12th birthday party began to draw near I decided to invite Nsync to it." --- Awwwwwwww

    "The point is this: Progress is rarely made in major events that happen in a short period of time." --- well, the conclusion and summary of your story, tho a great one, seems odd considering what you said. I think you tried to add too many points in one. You could have broken this speech into two pieces --- one about writing to bands and the other about the disorders you and your sister fought with. Putting them both together? Well...that's a LOT!


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  2. Why you mad?

    All I'm saying is you had two excellent speeches in here jammed into one. Sheesh....


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