Friday, February 21, 2014

I Dreamed a Haiku

Normally my dreams are just random. Non-relaity based, nothing that could actually happen, random. Last night was different. 

I had a dream I was in a writing/speech class with my step-mom and we were with a group of about 30 other students. We were then give our first assignment: Write a poem based around a certain point in your life that happened before -either your childhood, teenhood, or young adulthood. I got out my pen and paper, kind of worried, and then stared at the blank page for about 20 minutes. Then I started panicking.

I couldn't come up with anything! I couldn't pick an era of my life, I couldn't rhyme even if I had the info to rhyme about, and I couldn't make it that long. 5 minutes until pencils down and I started freaking out. My step-mom kept asking why I was struggling. "Why don't you just write it down and go from there?" I got up angrily and said, "I can't! This isn't working!!!" I lost it. I went off and when my step-mom started arguing back I essentially told her to f*ck off. I felt out of my depths. 

So then I looked at the clock. Class ended at 4pm and the clock said 3:51pm. They only have tie for like 2 speeches!!! YAY!!! Then another student said, "No that clocks an hour behind." NOOOOOOOOO...

I went outside the classroom and sat on the grass by a park bench. I thought, Why is this happening? I know I shouldn't be yelling and freaking out like this. I need to remember God and not worry so much. What happened? I used to just go with the flow and have faith that things would work out. Why am I getting so worked up over this? I need to just calm myself and breathe.

So then I listened to the teacher give the first speech as I sat there feeling defeated with my empty crumpled-up paper. The teacher's poem didn't rhyme. I realized: It's one of THOSE poems! The non-ryhme kind!!! I'm saved!!! If only I can write 4 lines of words that pertain to some aspect of my childhood I can make it home free!!!

Then the teacher turned to me and said, "Ok Jessica let's hear your poem." I didn't hesitate, I said, "No. You pick somebody else to go first." The teacher was like, "Ok we'll have Melinda go next..." 

I started writing as fast as I could. JUST 4 LINES OF WORDS... It just kind of came to me. Here's the Haiku: 

"I was born into a pink room with a yellow baby carriage, stuffed animals and furry dogs to match. 

My small world seemed a universe of soft comfort and familiar faces. Round like a perfect bubble.

Then Yelling. Arguing. Crying. Confusion. Shifting of places. Rearranging of lives and furniture. 

My sister and I would be the only connection they would ever have between them again." 

It was a weird Haiku, but given the pressure, the limited time, and the fact that it was in a DREAM it was surprisingly clear and deep. And when I spoke it the whole room responded to it and applauded me for sharing it. I surprised myself.

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