Hoarding

I've been watching the show "Hoarding" a lot lately on A&E. I don't know if I can describe and explain the way I feel about certain episodes, or the show in general.

I see patterns after a while with the people who struggle to let go. They say things like,

"There are memories attached to it, so if I let it go, then I won't have anything to recall."

"I tried to keep things clean, but at some point things got so out of control that I just gave up."

"They can evict me and throw me in jail. I don't care. I'm not getting rid of my stuff."

Some people have had their homes taken away or deemed uninhabitable by the city, their pets taken away by Animal Protective Services, or even their own kids taken from them. It amazes me how people can let things that important slip from their lives, and yet still cling to junk.

Then there's the part of the show where you see the before and after. You wonder how people can live with some much crap in their homes. They have pathways made out in their living rooms as if you were walking down in a canyon. The sanitation issues are usually pretty horrific, and a lot of those families suffer from asthma because of it.

The most important part of the show to me is towards the end, when the actual headway is being made. It's amazing to see some people struggle and then really let go and just start throwing things away like crazy. They push through the anxiety and overcome the challenge.

Then there are people who still have issues acknowledging they have a problem, or don't want to get rid of as much as they need to. Their family members do most of the work, and the person with the issue spends most of their time resisting the process.

The people who are trying to help know: It's more important for the process to work for the hoarder than for the people who want the hoarder's house cleaned. If you just clean it for them, they'll go right back to hoarding because they haven't learned or grown from the experience. It's like getting someone to stop smoking. As much as you want to help them, they have to want to be helped first.

I looked around  room last night and thought, If people came into my home insisting on me giving away everything except the things I really cared about, what would I keep?

The first thing I saw was my chair and art table. Gone. I would have no problem getting rid of it.

Shoes- gone.

Clothes... There are some sentimental clothes, but mostly clothes I need. I gutted my closet when I moved into my apartment and gave lots of clothes and things away. I haven't really gone shopping for clothes since either.

My artwork itself stays. No debate on that. Some of my art supplies can go though -I don't really use color pencils and markers that much anymore.

Beanie Babies. Crap. I still believe I can retire off of them sometime in the distant distant distant very distant future.

Stuffed Animals... Oh dangs. Yah, most of them can be given away. I just have to remember that they just sit in a drawer and I don't think about them much. I won't notice them when there gone because I don't notice them when they're here. And somewhere out there is a kid who would really appreciate them.

T.V. -take it. I watch most of my shows on Hulu now.

Laptop- Mine. I need it. For multiple reasons that are not comprimisable.

Printer- I've only had it for about a month, so technically I have done without one for a while. I could part with it if I had to.

Movies- I could part with the well known movies that aren't going anywhere- Like Avatar and Walle. But some of those movies I had to track down, like Fluke. I'm keeping those.

Music- My MP3 player is my Preciousssss. It's 16 GB of my life. I mostly keep my CDs around as backups incase anything happens to my computer. Plus they have cool album art.

Couch- Take it.

Desk-Take it.

Books- Hellz no. Not on your life.

Jewlery- I would keep some, but I'd probably get rid of most of it. I'm notgood at accessorizing and I always feel like the odds of me getting mugged go up when I wear jewlery.

Well I guess that's about it. Furniture is replaceable. Sentimental things I like aren't.

If I could hoard anything now, it would be hugs. I've gotten more hugs from people in the last 2 months than in the last 3 years combined. Friends are great. I don't know why my family isn't more into hugs. And I don't mean "hug" as in a socially obligatory gesture representing affection or appreciation. I mean a Hug. Like the kind a friend gives you because they really liked spending time with you. Or a hug a relative gives because they haven't seen you in a while and they genuinely missed you.  I would hoard those hugs like no other.