Saturday, July 30, 2011

Never Again

I promise myself as of this day, I will  NEVER go to another Saturday training like the one I went to today unless I'm in the mood and I'm going to commit to being present there. I woke up at 5am on a Saturday -I Would NEVER Wake Up That Early on the Weekend Unless There Was a REALLY Good Reason. Saturday training usually is that good of a reason. But I will never go there again if I'm not going to be a sponge absorbing the positivity instead of a stone that sinks to the bottom of the pond.

Sleep killed me. I was jet-lagged the whole time I was there. Being energy depleted and not feeling very spunky sucks when you're around 100 people who are there to be upbeat and positive. You are treated like a social pariah when you don't go around socializing and talking it up.  I was also off Zoloft for the past 2 days (I'm trying to preserve my last pill and make it last before I see the doctor next Friday). I felt socially awkward and out of place. "Sucked" is putting it gently.

You have to socialize for 2 hours before the training even starts. Normally it's not an issue because everyone one I meet there is either a friend or then becomes a new friend. Normally I feel like I have newly-acquired super powers and I can fly around the room conversing with lots of people. Not today.

Then there was training, which was great. I learned about eating healthy and the things the speaker talked about were insightful and honestly good to know.

Then there was post-presentation nonsense. It take about another hour to wrap things up with your group. And saying goodbye to them is usually a good 15 minutes worth of that hour.

At this point I had been in Saturday trainin from 8am-2pm. I was hungry, tired, and late for meeting up with someone. I then added pissed to the list.

My sister was my ride so I had to wait for her. She started being sarcastic to me about how we "have to be polite and actually say goodbye to people". I was not in the mood to hear her mock me. I shot her a glance lik no other and said, "Don't even." Her eyes widend and she was like, "Ok ok never mind." She shut up fast.

I NEVER get that angry. But I was seriously ready to start scratching people's eyes out. No sh*t. I was not messing around.

The 45 minutes that followed weren't much better. I had violent visualizations of ramming people with my car, ripping up a bean bag chair, and wacking someone over the head with a Pepsi can. No one in particular. Just in general.

I NEVER get that angry. What the hellz??? So then I met up with this guy named Abdul. He's in Toastmasters and I'm his "mentor". I'm suppose to help him prep for speeches, but I've never mentored before so I figured I'd just show up and wing it/ feel my way through it.

 It was great. Abdul is cool. Focusing on his speech topics and organizing them on a page got my mind off the stressure that had built up earlier. I just forgot about being angry. Then on the way home I realized I had let it go and I was glad I had made the trip out to mentor instead of calling it off because I was tired and grumpy. Life has a way of balancing itself out.

2 comments:

  1. I wonder if I'll ever meet hulk-mode Jessica.

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  2. I don't think so. She doesn't come out that often.

    ReplyDelete