Post-Breakup

I abdicated my throne nicely. It didn't go as well as I'd envisioned as I knew it wouldn't. I actually got kind of emotional in the beginning and a little angry. I just kind of blurt out at some point, "I'm just done. I'm done." 

But my friend just kind of kept composed -she's a professional business coach and is used to Jedi Mindtricking. She asked me, "Well what do you want in life? What will you do instead? What wasn't working for you?"

I'm never as articulate as I aspire to be. I clumsily explained that I want/need to focus more during the day on my 9-to-5 job. And after that I want to start working out more, connecting to friends, doing more artwork... Adn I told her my life had kind of become an endless sea of tasks associated with her women's group. 

Then she said she was surprised I could just "sever" myself from the group considering the fact that I've been a part of it for 2 years now, from the beginning, and it is just now starting to come to fruition.

And I explained that from the beginning my 2 main objectives have been: See the vision for helping women entrepreneurs succeed reach reality and help my friend be supported in the pursuit of that vision.

And then she said, "But why now? There's never a good time to go, but why now? You're so much a part of this group." 

I realized that she still kind of sees me as a co-creator. Like if Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs created something together. I tried over the years to become "a part of the group" and impart things that would last forever in it. But all the hours and months spent creating documents and artwork ended up being thrown away. And then the 1 thing that had remained consistent -the logo for the group -was put up for debate and she considered throwing it away like it was nothing. I realized nothing I input is going to stay put. And I told her that:

It's always changing, it's always evolving, and I've done 20 previous iterations of org charts and there's probably 20 more to come. Nothing is firmly rooted to the ground yet. It's getting closer but it's not there yet.

And she said, "That's the nature of being an entrepreneur. Everything's always in the air and always changing."

We ended things peacefully and she told me I would always be welcomed back and she was glad I was still going to do some tasks before the 1 month I'd given her to replace me was over. 

There's just so many contradictions in some of the things she says. It's strange. Like she says in reference to my non-entrepreneur day job: "I don't know why you want to be someone who just does the busy work someone else hands to you -you're way too good of a leader for that." But in reality that's exactly what she had me doing. "I need you to do this and this and this and this..." 

The issue I have to worry about now is "breaking the news to everyone in the group". I'm pretty sure 90% of the women's group won't care. Some people on the leadership team may care -some are new people who've just met me. I'd say in total maybe 5 people will care. That's about it. I don't think a big deal needs to be made about my leaving, but we'll see how she delivers the news.