If Today Was The Last Day

If today was the last day of my life, what would be my final lessons learned? What did I experience today that I can take away from and call something new and understood?

Well, today I was sleepy. I woke up at 7am then went back to sleep. Woke up at 8am and was a little pissed at the sky for being so bright today and so doom and gloomy yesterday. Then I went back to sleep until around 9am. Then I got a call from the universe suggesting I wake up and get ready. Technically it was AT and the other T calling, but really it was a waste call that counted for nothing so I consider it to be more like God's alarm clock. I ignored it and went back to sleepy.

My dad told me yesterday that he might call me in to work today, but he didn't think he would. I was therefore making m day plans in my head. It sounded something like: I should do laundry. I also need to do some work on Illustrator for that project I have at dad's work. I should also try to meet up with Elena or someone to talk about WFG. I also need to watch the latest and greatest episode of Supernatural an Once Upon a Time.

Then I sent a text to Twitter. It was a clever joke about Skyrim that didn't quite land the way I wanted it to. Stupid140 characters or less limit...

Then dad text me at 10:26 saying he needed me to come into work. Damn it...

Took shower, got dressed, didn't eat breakfast because I figured it would be lunchtime soon anyways and I was being economically friendly by saving two pouches of oatmeal. Score.

My head started buzzing with thoughts, day dreams, and notions. A lot of it was filler, but my early morning dreams seemed to focus on how a soul can be tainted. The first was through ego. By assuming the soul is built up enough to endure anything, people get cocky sometimes and think they can take on vice. But as they succumb to it and fall deeper into that trapping, they then feel the guilt of it wash over as they try and find their way back to what is good and right. Superficial excuses come to surface but don't cover the truth underneath. You hae to swallow the bullet, and it's best to do it on your own terms instead of waiting for it to be revealed by outside sources. The darkness will bring to light your wrong and show off how deep into it you were drug down. It's best to own up to your mistakes so that you can be honest and open with yourself, God, and others. Ask forgiveness and pledge to never let yourself or those who believe in you down again. People might throw mud in your face and hold you mistakes against you, but at the end of the day you will know where you stand with your soul and yourself. The people you really need and want by your side will never leave you or hate you. Those who ridicule you are not people you need. They are people who are ignorant enough to say you are flawed without glancing into their own mirror.

There was something I imagined posting on my imaginary Twitter. It was something like: Being ignorant of your flaws allows you your bliss in judging others for theirs.

Anyways, then i was out the door in the seemingly-warm-because-the-sky-was-clear-blue-and-the-sun-was-out-but-actually-turned-out-to-be-very-frikin-cold weather. I arrived at my dad's work and started programming modules. I listened to music, talked with my sister who was also working there today, posted more jokes about Skyrim on Twitter, talked with mi amigo about Hinduism, at pizza at Mike's Mountain, came home at 3pm, watched Supernatural, and posted this blog.

My greatest times of learning come in the morning and at night when I'm lying in bed reflecting, dreaming, and imagining different realities. A couple times last year and many times when I was younger I lived for night. I lived for the moment I could call it an evening and retreat into my mind. People say you should treasure your days because they're magical and meaningful and beautiful... yah... I don't think so. Some days certainly are, but those days aren't everyday. Most days are boring busy work. Then there's the days that test you, which aren't fun or easy but ultimately fulfilling. Then there are your "weekends" -the days when you can relax and breathe to enjoy life before the busy work and the tests come back. Today was a busy workday. But considering you never know when you're going to go, I'm always open to possibilities. And I always look forward to dreaming. Some dreams are a waste too. Some you crumple up like a piece of paper you made a crappy drawing on and you throw it in the trash regretting the time wasted on it. Other dreams can be more fulfilling than any physcal experience you could have had that day. Others really make you think and stretch yourself and your mind.

If I have learned anything from this life it is that dreams will lead you to a reality worth having, thoughts worth thinking, and a life worth living.