Based on the phrase, "You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" I bring a concept called the "Horse to Water Thereom".
By this concept it is understood why it is a waste of time to try and explain certain things to people who are uninterested in listening. We'll use Spirituality as specific example of this.
You could go up to a friend and talk for hours about Buddhism. If your friend is only listening out of respect or obligation to you, and is not interested in what you are saying for themselves, your words will fall on deaf ears. This is why it is always best to give opportunities for people to approach you on a subject, but not present the topic to them outright. For instance, my sister can ramble on and on about gazelle's and marsupials because she learned about them on Animal Planet. But if I'm not interested in hearing any of it, I'll just tune her out. It will be a waste of her time and mine.
You can't force people to listen to, understand, or appreciate your views and beliefs unless they want to.
Another concept I'd like to establish is the "None of My Business Theorem".
People take the opinions of others too far to heart. Here is your relief from that duty: The opinions others may have about beliefs, events, or people are not Yours. They are Theirs. Unless you choose do adopt their opinion as your own, the opinion does not belong to you. Therefore, if someone disagrees with you, or says they don't like your personality, beliefs, culture, appearance... it is none of your business because it isn't Yours. You can't force your opinions on others and they cannot force you to adopt theirs.
This also applies more specifically to the concept of "Sin" or "Immorality". If someone chooses to hold your flaws, sins, or immoralities against you in an opinionated way -It is none of your business. They are not leading Your life and therefore have no final say so in it and their opinions of it are distant and superficial glances. If they are merely observing what they see and establish it as immoral -then they are speaking Truth, not Opinion, and their words should be taken into consideration. But if th are judging you or others and passing their opinions on, what they say and think is not your concern. Those views belong to them and them alone, unless you choose to adopt them as your own.
Having said this, if somebody speaks judgementally of another person -know we are All I the same boat when it come to flaws and vices. No one is without sin. And since all sins are equal, one person pointing to the sins of another is not only hypocritical, but also stupid and nonesensical. It's like somebody who just fell in mud making fun of someone who also just fell in mud.
And if the only thing that kid of person can do is mock others and hold their sins against them, they are spiritually useless. What good does it do for one person covered in mud to laugh at another person covered in mud. What you want is someone who has a hose and some towels to help both people wash off and become clean again. Only a person who doesn't focus on the dirt and instead allows and helps others become pure and spotless can say they are contributing to others in a Spiritually productive way.
In the end, sin and immorality are not the problem. It's that there are too few of people who can look past the dirt and grime and are willing to provide others with a wash towel.
"This is why it is always best to give opportunities for people to approach you on a subject, but not present the topic to them outright."
ReplyDelete--- WELL...I believe your stance here is acceptable AFTER they have already shown disinterest in a subject.
Some things are too important to keep quiet about and "wait for someone to approach you about".
If you see someone dying, you should approach them and tell them --- even if they ignore you afterwards. But you have done your job.
That's how I feel about Christianity. The world is dying without Jesus. I will gently tell all about it, and only keep talking to those who show interest in learning more.
(You have a very "I'm going to let folks talk to me" stance that bothers me, personally. It's a good thing I've a very "I'm going to talk to folks" person or we would not work, smh...)
"Therefore, if someone disagrees with you, or says they don't like your personality, beliefs, culture, appearance... it is none of your business because it isn't Yours. You can't force your opinions on others and they cannot force you to adopt theirs. "
--- again, this can be applied to anything, except for life and death matters. And Christianity is a life and death matter.
...that being said, NOTHING ELSE is. I think it's important to make this distinction. You and I debate and argue things because we are both patient with each other and have the same desire to learn and grow from one another. But honestly, I've learned that in most cases, I really don't care to change folks minds about anything...
...unless it is with Christianity. =)
"If someone chooses to hold your flaws, sins, or immoralities against you in an opinionated way -It is none of your business. They are not leading Your life and therefore have no final say so in it and their opinions of it are distant and superficial glances. If they are merely observing what they see and establish it as immoral -then they are speaking Truth, not Opinion, and their words should be taken into consideration."
--- this is also true...to a POINT.
Two people who claim care/friendship/companionship/link to one another should look out for each other. They should be able to tell the other if they are doing something wrong.
In fact, if you see your friend do wrong and you say nothing, you are not being a good friend and are wrong and very guilty if your friend hurts him/herself or dies because you said nothing.
Bible calls this the sin of "omission"...saying nothing to prevent evil.
...that being said, this only works if the two people have the same moral code. No use telling a friend they are sinning by having premarital sex if they don't recognize premarital sex as a sin.
"And since all sins are equal, one person pointing to the sins of another is not only hypocritical, but also stupid and nonesensical."
--- You are halfway there again. =)
All sins are equal, but not all sins are the SAME in terms of definition and quality.
Not everybody has the sin of impatience. Hence they can be helped by people who are patient. This patient person may have a problem with lust --- but perhaps the impatient person has conquered this sin and can help them with that.
You are right in this sense: Bible teaches that we should not help someone with a sin if we ourselves have not yet overcome that sin.
I've seen this all too often with girls who had abusive parents...they get together and share stories and think they are helping each other when in fact they are both still victims and make the situation worse for the both of them.
"they are spiritually useless."
---- *love*
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It's interesting that your Ammendments and footnotes to my Thoerems are points I've actually written and made before. (Except for the waiting for someone to show genuine interest in the topic instead of sharing the topic with everyone regardless -concept)
ReplyDeleteThe "It's None of My Business Theorem" was mostly intended for people who put others down or hold their opinions against people. It's a way to contend with and overcome those sorts of people.
When you look at Christianity specifically, if someone doesn't believe you or says you are crazy for being Christian, it's their opinion let them suffer by it. Those sorts of people aren't Positive Respectful and Open-Minded. Don't talk to people who aren't PRO. They're like brick walls.
"Bible calls this the sin of "omission"...saying nothing to prevent evil."
Like I said in the Theorem, there's a difference between being honest and respectful by pointing out peoples flaws they are struggling with and providing them a solution or help -then there's holding flaws against people and being cruel to others by saying they aren't worth helping out because they have flaws. You can tell people what their sins or issues are, but you have to do it in a helpful, respectful way with the intent of having that person overcome those issues.
"One person pointing out the sins of another is not helpful"
-I need to redefine and clarify "pointing out: One person mocking another for having sin or treating that person in a derogatory or disrespectful way is hypocritical and spiritually useless if not counter productive. Again, you can respectfully with intent to help, point out the sins or issues of a person. But using the sins of others as an excuse to hurt or mistreat others is an abuse and is nonsensical since no one is without sin.
"Not everybody has the sin of impatience. Hence they can be helped by people who are patient. This patient person may have a problem with lust --- but perhaps the impatient person has conquered this sin and can help them with that."
Yes I've spoken about this before -I call it the Builder Signs from the Zodiac. People have flaws and issues that others have as Virtues and vice versa. People can improve on one another by using their virtues to help others overcome their vices.