But for me it's a little bit different. There are the "maturity" phases that a person goes through (like being a fan of a boy band at 12 years old). But then there's this other kind of "phase" which speaks more to what's happening with me now.
Once you've moved out of past phases of maturity you reach a new kind of phase which has more to do with thriving, bursting out, and blossoming and then incubating, secluding, and reflecting and then back to re-emerging, thriving, blossoming.
It's like being a butterfly phoenix that reaches a zenith/peak and then wilts back into itself that it might transform again into something greater and new.
I note the times in my life that I thrived and it was after the age of 23 or 24 when I genuinely came to understand myself. You can't really claim it before that time because you're still trying to figure life out in a lot of ways and not living it as much when you don't know who you are.
So right now I'm at peace with being in "cocoon" phase. It's a phase of patience and waiting -as it was when I was around the age of 24. Not much changes or happens. I draw more. I write more. I reflect on things incessantly. I grow. But I don't spring into action and put myself out in the world much.
But I KNOW -not just because it's happened before but because I understand this to be true -that I'm intended for great things and a new manifestation of life in a new way. A change.
Sometimes I wonder about the future because I try to be open to the possibilities. Then this happens.
Step 1. Tell yourself you're open to the possibilities
Step 2. DREAM. Of just about everything you would ever possibly want to be or do.
Step 3. Seriously start to doubt that any of it is possible
Step 4. Remind yourself GOD is possible. Get humble. Recalculate.
Step 5. Don't know what the hell the future is going to bring.
So I listen. And I wait. And I try to relax and remember it's in God's timing and it will be amazing in ways I haven't foreseen.
Drew this card yesterday which helped a lot:
Yesterday was a day of action. I did a lot and by mid-day felt very fulfilled and accomplished. Granted most of what I did consisted of cleaning the house, but it still seemed to be energizing and motivating.
Then again today it was a time for taking it easy, breathing, feeling free, healing, and overcoming worry.
I know that the time is coming to pop into the world again and contribute greatly. My greatest challenge is trying to Control the ability to see what's coming and the circumstances I'm in. It's hard to let go of the illusion of certainty and acknowledge you're in the unknown and just need to accept it.
But today at church there were some helpful examples of people who emerged out of their cocoon phase and finally found themselves on their truly intended path.
A woman named Lissa Rankin was a doctor/surgeon overworked, tired, and burned out after years of working in a hospital. She wanted to be a healer but that industry can turn you into a machine. So she quit in spite of being in debt, paying of student loans, and having a mortgage to pay. She went through cocoon phase which involved drawing, blogging, and attempting to write some books. Then she realized that HEALING was still her calling and that you can't quit your calling. She ended up finding a great group that focused on helping doctors find work-life balance and spiritual connection to themselves and patients. She ended up publishing some books and is thriving now.
Another man had followed his father's footsteps and become a minister. But after a decade of working in his church couldn't bring himself to do it anymore because he felt like he was lying to people. He hated telling people they had sinned before they were born and that God wanted people to burn in Hell. So he left. He went through cocoon phase. He worked as a salesman and at one point was a therapist. Then he came across a church that deeply inspired him and led him to return to his true calling. He ended up becoming a minister again and finally found a faith that allowed him to tell people about the wonder of God and the joys of Heaven available to any that sought it.
The message of today was to not see changes in life as threats, but as a opportunities to enact your true divinity. To step into a life that's more meaningful.
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