Balance: Living Out Christianity

It's hard being a Christian sometimes. It's hard being religious/spiritual in general sometimes where the external world is concerned. 

But as someone who's Christian you come across these issues no one ever talks about. I don't mean the delusion of being persecuted by a Starbucks cup. I mean other things. 

#1 Going to a new church you've never been to before. 
How do you know it's no like Westboro Baptist? 
How do you know it's not "Though shalt burn!!!" in its rhetoric? 
What if you show up there and everyone has torches and pitch forks and you're empty handed? 

#2 Christian Groups + Jobs
When someone invites you to a Christian group or you seek out a potential job at Christian non-profit you feel like you want to know ahead of time concerns for Issue#1, but also whether they speak of religion more or live out spirituality more. Or whether there's a balance. 

#3 Too Christiany or Not Christiany Enough 

I get this one the most actually. Around people who either aren't Christian or "not very Christian", sometimes I seem too Christian. People either look at you like you're a potential bigot/Westboro-goer or they think you're going to try to convert them. Or they just think it's weird your that spiritual or believe in Jesus. 

Then there's opposite that happens when you're around devout Christians who start referring to the people who are either atheist, agnostic, not that spiritual, or of a different faith as "Non-Christians" -as if you're only one of 2 options: Christian or Not. And they start talking about them as if they were some sub-human set of people like, "Do you ever hangout with non-Christians?" And immediately I think 2 things: 

1. "You mean other human beings? Yah I hangout with them?" 
2. "Am I only supposed to hangout with devout Christians?... Yah that's not happening..." 

And I feel lost. 

#4 Feeling lost 

I'm too Christiany for some people, 

not Christiany enough for others, 

I take other beliefs into consideration outside of Christianity -does that disqualify me?, 

I don't know the Bible backwards forwards and upside down but some of the people I've met that do have utterly and completely missed the main points which I seem to understand somehow, 

I believe God is vast and complex and amazing and in everything and cannot be confined to a singular book or doctrine, 

I know I have been led to understand what I do and one of those understandings is that organized religion is a blessing because of those who bless others with wisdom and compassion and a curse by those who curse others with hatred and inflicted pains, 
and I'm too spiritual and too religious and not enough of both. 

I just want Peace. 
But God also brings me Joy and leads me to Love. 
And I come to Understand. 

And that's about it.