Recently met a woman named Tracy who I see confidence and embodiment in that helps women affirm their self-empowerment -especially physically and spiritually. Met with Tracy for an in-person session Thursday night at around 5:45pm. She immediately noticed my posture and stance and as I started talking to her about my
spiritual/physical issues she reached over and said, “Ok we’re going to try addressing this right now and seeing if we can get you loosened up.” I was feeling pretty tightly bound and insecure and my body was following suite. I was in the equivalent of the fetal position sitting beside her. I was buried under my shoulders and was looking down and was pretty guarded and felt out of place.
It’s becoming more and more apparent to me that I keep my shoulders up too much throughout the day. They aren’t relaxed, they’re tense and hunched up. It’s like a tug-of-war trying to convince them to stay down.
I feel like walking and sitting in this new position opens up my chest and improves my breathing. It also clears my head and it feels like allergies get abated by it. But it is a strange position to hold that makes me feel out of balance and awkward because the out-of-balance, awkward, slumped position I normally sit in has become my norm.
The other thing I talked about with Tracy was feminine v. masculine energy and how to find balance with both. We both acknowledged that our society tends to suppress feminine energy and influence and that femininity is an integral part of ALL souls. It is something that can be tapped into and tends to feed into creativity, grace, patience, and calming re-assurity. Self-confidence is deeply linked to spiritual energy –and in particular feminine energy.
So I decided to opt for her $250 a month group package that lasts 4 months and meets 3x a month as a women’s group addressing body, mind, emotions, soul and balancing different energies and influences.
It definitely feels like I was led to her and this is God’s way of helping my soul to grow and advance. But it also feels like there's pieces of the puzzle that she's missing and I'm either meant to help her out or just take what I can get out of these sessions and move on.
The other cool thing to come out of this was this poem she sent to everyone in the group today. It really just cuts through the crap and gets to the heart of things:
"It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream
Of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are...
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty every day.
And if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon,
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments."