Heavy Times

I'm feeling hung-over, but I don't drink. It's a weird feeling. I'm groggy, drained, out of focus... it's horrible. The past couple days have been pretty heavy. Not sad or depressing or upsetting -just very weighted. 

This is usually how you know God's bringing all the crap in your life to surface so it can be cleared out. In this case it's probably several things being brought to light simultaneously to be ended. 

I'm also aware at least 70% of it is just demonic activity. I don't hate demons. They're energy is insanely dark, manic, and violent -but I don't react out of fear of it the way I used to. But this energy draining is something else. I wish I could describe it. 

You know chunks of your soul-self are being taken -like there's holes and gaping wounds in you. It feels starkly cold in those spots and then there's a sharp, dark pain. for me it mostly takes place in my head-space at this point. Head and chest. When Heaven's clearing out the energy, from the corner of my eye 5 feet away I see this huge descending black ball of poison like a spider rolled up. 

But it's desperate. It drains this much and this overtly because the darkness can no longer sustain itself in general. You can't perpetuate that negative energy if your dark energy field is gone. 

I have this knowing that I'll bust out of this and be better than ever soon. In the meantime, I want to curl up in a ball and sleep away the world and all its problems.