Handling Conflict

Dear Future Self: Read This 

Not now, but at some future point you will need to be reminded of ALL of this. 

#1 I Try to Bring God, 
Jesus, Angelic Forces, and Anyone Else Out There in the Positive Spiritual Realms I Think Might Be Helpful into the lives of people I have conflicts with. I do this so there is a glue holding us together when their inner demons try to rip us apart. We usually bond and find a humble connection to one another in the presence of God. 

#2 Their Demons ALWAYS Retaliate 
It gets old and the patterning is easy to spot now, but it's always what happens. The "kick-back". Just remember not to give into fear, pain, anxiety, judgement, or hatred. That's what it wants. Always stay calm and then back away. 

#3 Draw Lines in the Sand
Depending how toxic the person is -or aligned with their demon verses their soul -create healthy boundaries and make it clear what you will not be subjected to by them. 

#4 Don't Take It In and Carry It With You 
Make peace, let go, move forward. 

#5 Learn What You Can 
This demon-human dynamic has layers. People's past issues bleeding into present. Their persepctive in the moment. Demonic influence they aren't aware of. The demon's objectives and the shortcomings of their vices. Try to extend compassionate understanding into the situation. 

#6 Call on God
Whether it's to bring peace to them on their own behalf or whether it's out of necessity for protection from them, God is always a needed presence in that moment. 

#7 Don't Forget, But Do "Forgive" 
Forgiveness isn't really on the table for us as people -it's all between Hell and God ultimately. We just get caught in the cross-fire. But that doesn't mean denial or illusion towards what happened. Acknowledge the reality of it all. Then go forward with the knowledge of that truth. 

So what happened? 

Her issues/ Demonic Problems/ What truth came out in this: 

-She grew up in an abusive household she then normalized and there are deep-seeded issues and problems around family she hasn't even begun to address.

-She has control issues. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being open to the universe and 10 being a dictatorship, she's about a 7. Control is something she clings to desperately -especially around family. 

-She yells because she was never listened to and doesn't know how to listen or what true listening is herself. 

-She's possessive of male family members because she had to compete for male attention with her sisters growing up.  

-She fears being alone, needs people around, but is undermined by her demon to frighten people away and she ends up isolated and in stress/insecurity as a result. 

-Her demon runs her emotional reactions and yo-yos her around. It's done so so long she can't even see how explosive and abusive her over-reactions are. When she does know, she slips into denial and minimizes it to help her contend with that uncomfortable truth about herself. 

-She has come to value men more than women, having grown up in a sexist household and sexist time period. She has internalized this and finds other women to be a threat most of the time. 

-Her demon hates me. It sees me calling directly on Christ, bringing God in, bonding with her through our faith, and trying to help her find peace. 

-I fear being physically hit, slapped, or assaulted instinctually when she yells and given the level of animosity that comes out in the moment. Instinctually I can't tell if she would or wouldn't harm me in the moment. 

-She is verbally and emotionally abusive. If my sister was with a man that treated her that way I'd immediately tell her to leave and/or call the cops. 

-She is jealous of me. Something I hadn't been aware of and I'm still kind of shocked by. I'm not used to people being jealous. She perceives of me as being "good" and "perfect" and it bothers her and she feels "not as good" for some reason. 

-She's obsessed with holidays and family moments being "perfect" and tries to control everyone and everything that happens in a confusing way no one can keep up with. I'm not sure whether she's trying to re-enact past moments of family joy, or manufacture ones that never occurred that she always wanted. 

-For myself, I've learned that being wounded by the past doesn't give you an excuse to wound others yourself. 

-She will never change, in part because she never allows others to speak up and doesn't know how to listen. Only in Heaven would things be different. 

-Heaven is well founded around her and the space she tends to unconsciously create, like a soft blanket holding onto a shard of glass. 

-I have no hatred, anger, resentment, or fear. 

-I know all of this, but would hold none of this against her, or even her demon. I acknowledge the truth but don't abuse it into something twisted into judgments never intended for by God. 

Truth brings clarity. 

Judgments and blame bring distortion. 

I continue to hope she finds her peace and moves on from her past.