Interesting Day -Ups & Downs

I woke up not so happy about the prospect of going to different hotels and asking them to partner with our adventure park. I had to get up early to meet the other girl I work with in the marketing department to get the marketing collateral to hand out to front desk concierges. I don't work at the adventure park on Wednesdays so I would also only be able to do it for a little while, then hop back into the land of doing graphic design/marketing for Jos and the women's group. 

Then I went to Starbucks and was told I wouldn't be going "door-to-door" at hotels and instead needed to hand out brochures or place them on cars at 2 nearby recreation parks so families could learn about the adventure park. 

It wasn't as fun, but it was nice to be outside walking in that area and I felt like God was there with me and it was happening for a reason. God took me for a walk today. 

Then I came home and opened a letter from the IRS. They said they needed more info on my healthcare coverage for 2018. I didn't have healthcare coverage. I worked 5 days, and for a little while 6 days, at the vertical farm making minimum wage struggling to pay rent. I borrowed money from relatives more than once to be able to pay bills and it sucked deeeeeply. 

The farm didn't exactly have health insurance. And I was kicked off of medicaid in 2017 because I "made too much". The average cost for health insurance is $300+ a month. I could NOT afford that. 

And the "Affordable Care Act" is like everything else to do with that administration and that group of individuals: It States the Opposite of What They Actually Do. They are NOT making America great. The title of that healthcare plan is an insult. It isn't affordable and it isn't a plan. 

So you're told by the government you owe us for not being able to afford health coverage as they knowingly decrease funding for the medicaid budget so you don't qualify for that either and rig things in favor of health insurance providers who can that charge whatever they want and not have to cover whatever conditions they don't want to. 

And you sit there like... What do I do? Then you look into healthcare options and they don't even allow you to apply for anything until the Open Enrollment Period starting in November.  

And it didn't want to make me kill myself/enact suicide last year or this year when the weight of it all was felt, but it does make you feel like you can't Afford to live. Like living isn't an option the way things are set up. And I think it ties back into my fear of Debt. 

I refused to go to the hospital until I was pretty much on my death bed 3 years ago and had to pay out of pocket afterwards because the thought of debt was like falling into a deep abyss. 

I've seen people work their way out of debt. I've seen more people be in debt, say "This is the way it is in this country", and just stay in debt for years. 

But I worry about paying grocery bills and being able to afford food. I can't buy anything if my bank account is negative. And I hate the concept of having to be in debt when I do everything I can to earn staying out of it. 

So now I'm mopey while simultaneously hoping this cycle ends and I spiritually overcome these issues so they stop happening.