So I decided to give Landmark another try. In 2014 I took the first 2 days of Landmark -a personal development organization -and then walked out. The methodology they use is great. They basically help people acknowledge the difference between the past and their emotional reaction/ties/attachment to it. they then help people open their minds to new, present possibilities they can actively create.
The downside to Landmark is what happens when you get a person leading the forum who is attached to the outcome of people changing rather than a positive influence giving people the opportunity to step into a new mindset. If you search the forum online there are a string of accounts of leaders verbally berating people who have had traumatic experiences in their lives they do not instantaneously let go of in the moment. The confessions some people publicly acknowledge in the group sessions are intense, from rape to being beaten or abandoned as a child. I walked out after I watched the forum leader yell at a woman who opened up about being verbally abused by her father when she was young and her struggles moving beyond that.
Trying to assist people in healing from past wounds doesn't help when you're forging new ones by feeding into their past pains rather than genuinely helping them move on from them.
But, like Landmark teaches, the past is not the present or the future. So I acknowledged the possibility that this go-round might be different. And even if it wasn't, I would be. I'm more open to the possibility of directly confronting obstacles and issues that arise in the present now -including how to contend with other people's negative behavior.
In the meantime, a door has been opened for me as far as acknowledging all of my own issues that still need to be brought their peace and severed from. I've made great headway in letting go of a lot in general (with Heave's help) and now have some other areas to focus on that I wanted listed out so I can actively start to remove them, like something old and unwanted you're finally ready to throw in the trash:
Issues with Men:
-I let go of the fear that if I get in a close relationship with a man I would get hurt
-I let go of the fear of confronting/addressing men in leadership positions I feel I have to bow down to and fall in line with
-Acknowledging past instances with men who have abused/hurt people without attaching judgement/blame/hatred (not keeping score)
-Not having fear/anxiety around men I cross paths with in isolated places or on the street
Femininity:
-I let go of past ideologies linked to childhood experiences that made me feel like being feminine meant risking being hurt, treated small, or was defined as inferior in some way
-I reconnect to parts of myself I deemed "useless" or unwanted because they were consequently affiliated with femininity
-I forgive and make peace with women in my past that embodied aspects of toxic femininity that fed into my reaction to further withdrawal
-I forgive and make peace with men in my past who had aspects of toxic masculinity that fed into my reaction to withdrawal from femininity because it made me feel like I lacked control in my life and was of less value
Know-it -all:
-I let go of mental attachment to feeling like I have to know everything all the time because "if I'm wrong, then I'm lesser of a person somehow"
-I let go to escaping in my head to avoid present reality I label as being mundane, limiting, intolerable, predictable, or harsh
-I let go of the thought that I'm not capable of handling life as it arises
-I let go of "mind" so I can step out of that box and into my Being
Trust
-I create the possibility that I can be myself, open and honest, and not be disowned externally by others
-I let go of the divide with "others" and fear/anxiety around people i don't know
-I let go of the fear that by default people will not like me so I have to conform to what I think they want me to be to to be embraced in
-I let go of the fear that harm will come to me and I will lose something needed if I open up to people
Self-Expression:
- I create the possibility that I can speak the truth to others, even if I think they won't like it, because I have the right to be heard
-I let go of the fear that speaking truth and being myself will be to my detriment
-I create the possibility that I can go out and dress the way I want, speak the truth I know, and be embraced for who I am
-I let go of the fear that if I speak about spiritual truths that I have experienced or come to understand that I will be labelled delusional or unintelligent which will make me feel like I'm of lesser value
Love
-I create the possibility that I can let people in without fear
-I let go of fears around people wounding or hurting me if I get close
-I let go of the fear that people will leave me if they genuinely start to see the truth of me
-I let go of the fear that I'm not strong enough to make it through being walked away from or hurt in my relationships
-I create the possibility that I am open and loving to others, including strangers
Social/World Issues:
-I mark the divide and the difference between what the past has been and what the present currently consists of as things have changed and are changing
-I mark the difference between the past being fact with no negative reaction or attachment to what was or has been
-I make peace with the past of this world and pray those who have not find their peace
-I move forward to forging our new world and see the possibility of all the good that is coming through it
-I let go of the fear that if I am not wounded with people who are hurt I default to being apathetic and indifferent
-I let go of the fear that if I don't know of every wound suffered in the world that I will by default be ignorant
-I create the possibility that I can be compassionate to others and at peace within myself when I learn the truth of what pains have been and are being carried in the world
-I acknowledge the truth that all pains are being brought their peace
-I extend patience into the world and let it be where it is in the process
-I let go of resentments, blame, and disappointment with others who are ignorant or indifferent to the suffering of others
-I create the possibility of accepting the truth of other's blind spots without holding it against them
Family
-I make peace with family members that have said things I reacted to in wounding from a place of denial or indifference to other people's suffering
-I make peace with family members who have not made me feel as though I was genuinely being loved by them
-I let go of my withholding of love to those family members
-I let go of past instances of discord between family members
-I let go of my attachment to keeping score and resenting the vices and negative tendencies of family members
-I create the possibility of being at peace and in harmony with family
Being Present
-I let go of my fear that being present with be limiting, boring, or wounding
-I let go of my desire to hide internally in my mind
-I create the possibility of being more fully present in the moment
-I create the possibility of no longer being distracted in my mind by thoughts
-I create the possibility that I can still get things done, accomplish tasks and goals, while still being present without my mind having to track everything
-I create the possibility of having ease in the moment
-I create the possibility of joy, connection, fulfillment, serenity, and relaxation being in every moment
Freedom
-I let go of the fear that I am not free
-I let go of a mindset that feels like it needs to escape from reality all of the time
-I let go of the fear that I cannot be free for external reasons
-I create the possibility that I can be free in this life
-I create the possibility that I can have abundance and not fear "needing" to survive and get by
-I let go of the fear that travel is something I cannot do alone, I will get lost, or get hurt
-I create the possibility that I can travel to new places and have incredible experiences
Control
-I let go of the fear that without mental control over everything I will lose everything
-I create the possibility that life can be its own without my influence
-I acknowledge that everything is energy
Lighter
-I let go of the fear that I am not light
-I acknowledge the truth that I am light
-I acknowledge the good in me
-I acknowledge that I can share what light and good I am
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