I'm kind of glad I don't post as much. Ideas keep coming -I now have a NEW 4 page Word Doc. that has 1 to 2 sentences worth of blog ideas each. I feel like I might be intended to hold onto them until there comes a better time to write them down. For now it's just tracking dreams, insights, and experiences.
Spring is definitely shifting things -moving forward to moving on and aligning myself with greater things. It's amazing though: Only the infinitely terrifying and the divinely amazing can make you say, "Is this really happening???" Lately I've had BOTH.
One of the hardest pains in this life is loving someone unconditionally that you know will never see you, understand you, or embrace you as entirely -including family. It hurts, but it doesn't change the way you act towards people and you back yourself into God's hands and the knowing that other people are intended to live their lives their way and will do as they will, but you are taken care of and are loved deeply by others including God.
I also sense that these days are times of great joy, in spite of all the pains. Never in the history of mankind have we existed in a space where so many can come together collectively and indiscriminately. Where people of almost all walks of life can find their voice and be heard, globally. Where solidarity and the grace of God can be shared so fully, and among people of differing faiths as well.
It's old pains in a new age and the way we see these pains and seek to heal them together is a great Revelation for mankind.
Right now my goal is to pick up on what I'm intended for and where I'm intended to head: A new place, a new job, a new group of supportive people, and a new church to spend more time in. I also feel drawn to creative projects (started coloring/drawing again) and giving back directly to the community in the coming months (want to join an artistic, teen-mentoring program).
Dream 3/02/17: I dreamed I drew cards from an angel card deck when I was shopping around for cards and spiritual items. The cards said pretty blatantly: Work on a spiritual project. Then the face of the card changed its appearance into what looked like the top of a cathedral. I then went to share this with my sister, along with the sense that I got about needing to give/contribute to a social group or non-profit, but my sister wasn't listening or paying any attention (which is sort of how it feels every once in a while when I try to talk to her about spiritual things).
Me Angel Cards 3/02/17: Because of the dream i decided to meditate and draw some angel cards myself.
2 cards both mentioned alchemy, which basically meant that my endeavors would succeed as long as I pursued the right ones. The other card kind of represented the "crown chakra" to me or just getting more directly in connection with God and my own divinity.
Dream 3/04/17: In order to understand this dream you kind of have to know that I wish I could be a singer and dream of being able to do it someday -here or in Heaven. And you think, "If I was a singer, how would I incorporate God and spirituality into it including being divinely led?" Sometimes it seems like American Idol-esque shows would be the easiest way to get your name and talent out there. Then this dream occurred, kind of waking me up to reality.
In the dream my prayers were answered and I was a talented singer and went to be on American Idol with JLO, Harry, and Keith Urban. They then took me and about 15 other singers into a room and on a big screen had 10 modern songs we then had 1 minute to choose from. I had only vaguely heard one of the songs before since I don't listen to radio. We had to cover the song and were only given a couple hours to do it.
I struggled inevitably, and barely made it past that round. Then they said, "Ok time for classic songs..." Then a list of only 3 country songs from the 1920s popped up that no one had ever heard of. We were given 8 minutes to memorize the songs and play them. I tried memorizing them, but was pretty lost.
These singing competitions aren't solely about talent and the way they are usually conducted is almost cruel. They say that's how the industry is, but complying to the negativity of the world to "play along" never did mankind much good in any form...
Dream 3/06/17: Got a job interview near Colorado Springs that was next to a lake. Then I had this dream.
In the dream I drove down to that location and saw the lake it was near -which was beautiful, in the woods, and had lots of wildlife around. The employees at the work were nice, the job itself kind of mundane, and I made a new friend/acquaintance with a red-headed girl who was also interviewing.
After the interview I was invited to lunch by this red-head and we went to an Italian restaurant. There someone in the restaurant proceeded to order a seal from the ocean as their main coarse, and as a vegetarian and animal lover I was strongly displeased and upset.
Then later, a friend told me not to be discouraged by the job hunt. I was also led to understand that it would be good to find jobs not easily influenced or negatively influenced by the changes occurring in the government.
Dream 3/0717: Had a dream I traveled between various spiritual realms. I found arctic lands with polar bears and deep seas with mermaids -but also sharks that attempted to attack. These lands were pretty fantastical, but also potentially dangerous.
Dream 3/08/17: Had a dream that I was wondering through a book store and came across a book about Native American Saints -particularly women. There stories were pretty horrific. One woman attempted to defend the land and argued that spiritual connection with nature struck at the core of her being. She was then but on trial and accused of being sacrilegious, raped and hung at a tree. Her last words were, "All I want is to go back to the still of nature..."
Dream 3/09/17: Had a dream my sister and I were visiting with family and sitting on a park bench. Then suddenly we were elevated from above by a giant UFO. As we were carried upward, I suddenly had this feeling of knowing that we would be ok. We then descended below and landed unharmed. We proceeded to tell the family, and my two aunts believed me. Then my dad was taken up and disappeared into the sky for about a minute before being returned back. When my dad had reached the craft, before being let go, he saw a door with his name on it that he could have entered through to get on the ship. Not sure what the dream represents entirely -other than which family members of mine are closest to having faith in the unknown -which is pretty spot-on.
Doreen Card and My Card 3/10/17: Had a meditation session and drew the same card on the same day as the one Doreen Virtue posted online.
It was basically about entrusting the present to God regardless of what's happening. That God is just a much a part of the unknown as your doubts and uncertainties would be.
Dream 3/11/17: Had a dream about God coming through during a flood/"Final Coming". The sky changed and everything kind of got frightening -especially since I was driving around in my car -but I also felt very clearly led to where I needed to go to be safe.
Me Drawing 3/13/17: Drew this that morning when I had this vision come to me. Took a while for me to figure out what it all represented, but basically mankind is reaching a state of grace, enlightenment, and peace and will Rise above the muck of lesser things. As the people rose out of this "lotus" representing greater Being and emanating a great light, they gained wings.
Experience 3/13/17: That same day went to the hair dresser to get my hair cut and the hair dresser told me this interesting dream she had had the night before. She was interesting because at the time this phrase had hit me on the drive over to the hair stylists after I passed a church: "I am more spiritual than religious." When I met this woman and she proceeded to cut my hair, she said to me the same phrase: "I'm more spiritual than religious..." So I kind of understood that she was in sync with things.
She told me she had a dream the night before. She said she tried doing her best staying out of politics and mostly just hoped that this new president would be good and carry out good things. But in the dream she had walked into a church and seen "Trump", only his face was red and his eyes were black and she sensed a great darkness in him. She said, "It's weird because I'm more spiritual than religious and don't go to church or pay attention to politics..."
Experience 3/16/17: This was freaky. Went to see the movie Logan with my dad in the movie theater -which I really felt like I was meant to see because it involved an adult guiding and protecting the younger generation and seeing them to safety which I do feel is a kind of calling I'm meant to answer in some way.
Then after the movie went into the ladies bathroom and saw a blonde woman over to my right washing her hands in the sink, turned my head to see some bathroom stalls to my left -which I realized were handicapped and not meant for me to use, and turned back to my right and the woman was GONE. I swear 100% I SAW and Acknowledged a woman.
So I went into a stall and did my thing and then got out to wash my hands. I prayed for God to come through and lift ANY spirits in that room and the theater. But I wasn't all together "spiritual" because I'd just come out of watching a movie for 2 hours and wasn't really in a great spiritual state.
Then after I washed my hands and prayed, I turned to begin to leave and 10 feet away from me the automatic hand towel dispenser suddenly released a piece of paper towel out of nowhere. I hadn't even taken a step forward.
I wish I could do more for God and the "spiritual community" here on this earth but invisible to most. Some days you do the best that you can and try to put it all in God's hands, but your energy just isn't where you'd prefer it to be.
Dream 3/17/17: Had a dream I went shopping for spiritual gifts and came across a great dinosaur book and bought it. I felt that there WAS something spiritual to do with dinosaurs in terms of them carrying "beyond ancient" energy of great living beings.
Me Drawing 3/17/17: Had a vision that came to me when I was in the bathroom getting ready that morning. Basically it represented God (the eye) but also the Son (the sun) dawning and rising on Earth.
Great "biblical" things are going on right now. Famine, War, Slavery, Genocide, Political Turmoil and Corruption, the Murder of Journalists (aka the literal killing of Truth)... God is coming through and Darkness is clinging to whatever kind of pains it can inflict while it can.
Dream 3/20/17: Had a dream I attempted to go shopping in a grocery store but there were no veggies. I'm vegetarian. This basically represents a time on this Earth when there will be nothing left for me here to carry on living the way I have in good.
After the store, I went outside and it was winter and a great snow and blizzard had hit. Immediately a jet came down to pick me and those around me up to go to safety. We were all calm and no one panicked. Then after we boarded I looked out the window and a drunk, wealthy woman in a fur coat was weaving outside while talking on her cell phone -oblivious to everything.
I worried that she would not make it, that the plane would not have enough room, or that she would refuse to come on board. Luckily someone went out and helped her onto the plane.
Then I noticed my sister was on board with me and she had brought a back pack with my stuff and some toys to amuse ourselves with on the plane. She also had a back pack that had similar things.
This is the third dream I've had with my sister, in winter, having a back pack as we prepared to go somewhere together.
Dream 3/21/17: Dean (my step-dad) and my dad wanted to go to church with my sister, me, and my mom. As we went to church I knew mom getting a divorce from Dean was inevitable -just as it had been with my father. But I also knew that everything would be alright. I'm pretty sure they'll find peace together in Heaven eventually and all the arguing and division that passed between them here on Earth will be healed.
In another dream someone gifted me a chakra necklace and a geode necklace -both of which were comprised of colors from the rainbow when each chakra and each geode of a different color came together in the necklace.
Dream 3/23/17: I dreamt I was invited to have dinner with Trump in an elegant restaurant. The restaurant only served steak -which I can't eat, so the meal itself was kind of useless -but the conversation we had was pleasant with no arguing or anything. Then I entered into a helicopter and was live messaging a friend about what was happening. I was trying to stay positive about it all, but felt guilty about being close to him and not really being able to say or do anything.
Dream 3/24/17: Had a dream I went to go work for Kayla -one of the women who worked at the non-profit I worked at last year. The job mostly consisted of filing, admin work, and some marketing.
Dream 3/25/17: Dreamed I worked somewhere doing graphic design works and it paid $700 a week -which is interesting because that's $17 an hour which is the pay I'm shooting for. I dreamed I got this job just before all my money had run out and I was then able to go shopping for new clothes.
Dream 3/26/17: Dreamed that there was a woman sitting by a window and she was telling me of her daughter and that her name was Marina. For a couple years now I've been trying to remember a name I was once spiritual told that started with an "M", had something to do with the ocean (el mar) and was meant for a daughter I'm possibly meant to have in the future.
The rest of the dream consisted of me being relieved that it was the End of World Fears. I was told Earth would align with Heaven fully and everything would be right the world.
Vision 3/26/17: Didn't draw this on paper because it was too much of a "gif" image -like 5 seconds of a movie playing. I saw a book and as the pages turned towards the end of it they started to rip off of the page and rise towards a great light and when they reached the light the pages transformed into birds. "When the book is written and the last page is closed, the book will arise into Heaven and transform into grace."
My Aunt Vicky passed away this last week and I think it was in part meant to represent her, especially since I prayed for her to be risen above in peace.
My mom has been struggling with the loss, but came across this note that Vicky has given her many years ago when my mom was mourning the loss of someone else:
Dream 3/27/17: Dreamt I had a sea otter for a pet -which was a challenge because it was still primarily wild and wouldn't hold still. Hard to tame and turn into a pet.
Had another dream that I worked for Kayla -again. Was pretty busy and everything was very fast-paced and revolved around making customers happy.
Had a different dream that I was in an ancient castle and walked into the bedroom of an egotistical man who was gossiping with his mistress. There were photos of this man in all the rooms and he liked hanging pictures of himself everywhere. I mostly just focused on being humble and minding my own business.
Then I went outside this castle and felt the presence of God. I kneeled and was not frightened even though the presence and the light were overwhelming because I knew I could trust God.
Experience 3/27/17: Got up in the morning to start my day and the side of my leg started burning. How many freaking times is this going to happen -and always on the same spot (top of my right leg)...
I had also been scratched a couple weeks before, but didn't feel like recording it because the cut wasn't as deep and I mostly just feel compelled to ignore these things at this point.
I was also led to understand the reason there are TWO marks instead of 3 or just one is because there are 2 main entities I'm contending with. Technically 1 is nice, the other struggles, but both can be easily influenced by the negative energies of "lesser things" and places below.
Dream 3/30/17: This dream seemed pretty important. In the dream it was essentially like Jurassic Park with people fleeing from being eaten by dinosaurs. But then some tribesmen -including children -found a way to tame the dinosaurs spiritually and the dinosaurs wouldn't harm them.
Basically it represented people living in fear and being at the mercy of a merciless world (especially while being distracted by commercialism and influenced by conglomerates and things without peace) and those that found themselves in soul.
In another dream, I ran head first into a real-life issue that recently kind of came up. There's an actor that I like who's 40 and I found out he's "secretly" -which is impossible when you're famous -dating a girl who is only 21.
In my dream a 40 year old singer I admire was caught on camera making out with this 19 year old girl and the celebrity news sites were excited about it and thought it was wonderful. Then I remembered this guy is MARRIED. I then ran into him and asked him, "What the heck are you doing???" And he said, "My wife's at home so what she doesn't know won't hurt her." He said it in such a non-nonchalant way.
I found what really got to me was my concern for the young girl. She was still like a child in a lot of ways and seemed oblivious to greater things -including who she was as a person.
In another dream, I read a newspaper article printed in the Middle East about a new climate change initiative they were taking to improve their environmental responsibility and stewardship. They genuinely cared about the environment. This kind of blew my mind because it is POSSIBLE that in the future such a time could happen.
Had another dream about a transgender saint who was "matryrd" after being murdered.