CCPY

Last weekend I was invited to check out an overview of California Community Partners for Youth (CCPY).
My friend who is trying to start a women's mentoring program in order to help newer women in business be coached by seasoned women in business championed CCPY and 2 other charities to help lead as an example that women shouldn't just support themselves, but the community as a whole. My friend has served for 2 years as a mentor in the CCPY organization, helping young, struggling teen girls gain self-confidence and find a path of guidance.

I went to the overview session mostly just to get a better understanding of the cause. I intend to host a fundraiser to gain donations for the 3 charities my friend supports.

I walked up to the high school on a bright Saturday afternoon. I thought it would be deserted but there were small groups of teens dappled here and there -one group was actually listening to some hip-hop music while gathered around a lunch table.

I felt awkward -like I did my first day of school -weaving with uncertainty looking for the right classroom. I finally found it. Then I met Pattie Cortese. I had corresponded with her via email but had no idea she was such a remarkable person. She was warm and inviting and was clearly passionate about the program.

There were about 5 other girls there initially who were there for the overview as well. We were led into a small room with a circle of chairs. We signed in and grabbed a brochure. 4 teens who had gone through the first year of the program were there to share their stories. We sat down and went around in a circle introducing ourselves. I don't remember anyone's name -only who they were.

One girl said she had gotten into drugs and partying and her relationships with her mom had deteriorated into yelling sessions and animosity. One of her goals when starting the program was to build as better relationship with her -which she doubted was even remotely possible. Then as she was going through the program -initially avoiding it - she started to see things differently and began to realize that what she did mattered. Who she chose to be and what she chose to say mattered. She began to discover the impact she was having on her own life and the lives of those around her. She discovered what really mattered to her. She said she quite the drugs and tried being more respectful towards her mom. She ended up getting close with her mom again and managed to bring her grades up. She said that she still goes out and parties every once in a while, but it doesn't effect her like it use to.

One boy said he was angry all the time. He wasn't sure why, but he would get overcome with anger and not really know what to do with it. He started getting involved in gang activity and was pretty stand-offish around most people. He was resistant to the program at first and brushed it off like it was nothing. Then when he started opening up to his mentor he found that the program became a valuable resource for him to figure things out and process what we was going through in a different way. He didn't change over-night, but he did evolve over time. He said he felt a lot calmer and more at ease. He stopped hanging out with the wrong people and gained some new friends through the program.

One girl said her relationship with her dad was her first main issue. The drinking was the second. Her negative attitude and her shyness were her others. And the poor grades. There was a part of her that wanted things to be better, but until she was shown a way -she didn't think it would happen. Her mentor was a singer and she was able to open up about the fact that she also liked singing. Now she's in a musical play, her relationship with her dad is great, she stopped drinking, and her grades are up.

It's not miracle work. It's time that's set aside by someone who then gives that time and attention towards improving another person's life. If you had someone in your life who set aside 8 hours for you a month (four 2 hour sessions) and sat down and talked with you about life and problems and struggles and confusion and frustration and helped you sort everything out and things became that much clearer -you'd change too.

My eyes were opened by the potential this program has and I wondered kind of dumb-foundedly why the hell this program isn't in EVERY school. With issues like bullying, rape, suicide, drugs, alcohol, and gangs becoming more and more of a frequent issue -why don't we initiate this kind of aid and guidance???

So I signed up for the mentoring program. It starts in the fall. The downside is now I need to get a TB (tuberculosis) test and fingerprinting so they can make sure I'm healthy and legit. You don't want diseased criminals guiding kids in vulnerable situations.

But the test and fingerprinting are just small inconveniences.  What you have to give back is so much greater. Since my friend is trying to create a mentoring program we surveyed a bunch of women to see what they look for in a mentor.

Here it is: Character, integrity, wisdom, attitude of concern, accepting, empathy, encouragement, supportiveness, guidance, expertise, and accountability.

When asked what they would look for in a mentee they said: Someone who wants to grow/progress/be successful, passionate, creative, excited, willing to learn, ambitious, authentic , committed, open to new things, and willing to learn.

Nobody's perfect. But we can all strive to be better; and if someone is willing to support us and encourage us we may just be able to achieve that.