Last weekend I went to visit my mom in Oakdale, CA -2 hours away from where I live -for an early Mother's Day since I knew I was going to be busy the weekend of the 12th.
During the visit mom told me that her recent illness had gotten worse. Her body seems to be producing excess amounts of liquid that then fill her blood vessels/veins and make her feet and hands swell. She had to have her wedding ring cut off and can't move around very easily now.
The doctors don't know what's wrong with her so she decided to go to Stanford Hospital in Palo Alto to see if they could figure it out. They're in the process of gathering blood samples and reviewing her medical records. Anyways, she scheduled her next appointment for this Monday, May 13th, at 8:30am. She lives 4 hours away from Palo Alto so she asked me last weekend if she and her friend Fawn could stay the night in my apartment that Sunday so she wouldn't have to get up early on Monday and drive directly to the hospital.
My initial reaction: Holy crap my apartment is a mess. She's totally going to nag and complain about it. But it is Mother's Day and it wouldn't be that hard to accommodate... It's a good thing I'm low-maintenance.
Fast Forward to May 12th. I wake up at 11am and start my day. Bathroom cleaned. Kitchen Cleaned. Bedroom cleaned and vacuumed. Living room cleaner than it was. 3pm... Done!
I then proceeded to watch House: Season 3 on DVD because I'm awesome like that.
7pm mom shows up and I text my sister to head over so we can go to dinner because I'm starving. 3 minutes into coming into the apartment, I meet Fawn for the first time and mom wanders from room to room re-arranging everything the way she likes it.
My bedroom windows were flung open and the shades drawn up for all the stalkers of the world outside to see into my bedroom.
The bathroom is loaded up with hair brushes and the bathroom window is also flung open for all the stalkers of the world passing by in the streets to see into my bathroom.
Why was my mom opening all the windows? According to her the question was more like, "Why is it so hot in here? Don't you have air conditioning?"
Being on the 2nd floor in the summer time has its disadvantages since heat rises and everything.
She then proceeded to check the kitchen. "Why do you have all of those grocery bags stocked up against the wall? Why don't you have them neatly folded and put away?"
I use the grocery bags -both paper and plastic -to take out the trash and the recycling. Normally no one is around to complain about where they are located so I don't tend to give a damn about them being stacked in a corner for use as desired.
"Why don't you have any food in your cabinets or in your fridge???"
I eat breakfast at work and I go out to eat for my lunches -which means I get leftovers and eat a big lunch. No dinner required. No food needed stock-piled. I usually have a thing of Rice-a-Roni in the cabinet for emergency hunger situations, but I had one the other day and do need to restock on one or two of those...
Then we went out to dinner. Mom ordered a custom meal -ordered from a basic dinner template but then readjusted by my mom the master chef who knows how meals should be put together regardless of what the restaurant seems to think. During this time mom and Fawn proceeded to drink a bottle of wine between the two of them. Ecco Domani.
Afterwards mom decided we needed to stop by Target to get some breakfast supplies. She liked the bottle of wine so much she bought another exact bottle of Ecco Domani. She also bought some 7Up for her to drink in the morning along with some Lipton Tea. I guess she was thirsty...
Came home, filled the fridge, and at this point (10pm) I was ready to call it a noche since I had to get up at 6am to get ready for work in the morning. Mom and Fawn decided to stay up and drink a little more wine.
Fast Forward to 6am. I awake upon my rather comfortable futton/couch to the sound of my mother leaving my bedroom (where she and Fawn had spent the night) to use the bathroom. I get up and take my shower, get dressed, and brush my tee... *Knock on the door* "Are you almost done in there?"
I grabbed my hair pick and said screw you to the blow dryer. I proceeded to pick my hair as I sat on my futton/couch. Meanwhile mom and Fawn were bouncing from room to room making tea, borrowing my toothbrush, complaining that my shower was clogged because it took longer than 2 seconds for the tub to drain...
The down side to being a responsible young adult is having an older parent that's stuck in more of the 15 year-old age-range.
"Well we still have some wine left but I don't want to take it with me so I'll leave it here. You drink wine, right?"
Do you not know me? EVERYONE knows I don't drink alcohol. Period. Oh well, I'll donate it to someone else who does...
They left the microwave door open. How do you do that??? And they kept turning all the lights on and not turning them off when they left the room. How???!!!
What I found amazing about all this was the moments in between the complaining about my apartment when my mom would talk to Fawn about all my great accomplishments as an artist that never actually happened. "She sold $800 worth of artwork and had her art featured in multiple galleries..."
Yes. Welcome to Rembrandt's abode.
First off I made $800 from working a receptionist job at the dealership my mom was a secretary at.
I did sell a couple paintings to relatives for about $200 total though.
I did have my art in a gallery... competition among about 100 other young artists at the Young Master's Mistlin Gallery in Modesto when I was 18. I got 1st place in the Watercolor category though...
I never really pay much attention to my parent's when they brag about things like that. They're over-exaggerating and personally I don't care what my parent's opinion is of me -or what their friend's opinion of me is. If all that I am and all that I have done is not enough for them, exaggerate away to make it seem more impressive. I am who I am Sam I am.
Finally mom and Fawn were ready to leave. I helped carry one of their bags to their car parked down the street. "You don't have to, we don't want you to be late for work."
Work does not equal School. It's ok to be a little late. You don't have to fill out a tardy slip or anything.
I kissed her goodbye and felt happy that it was done and I could restore my Manner to its proper place.
I thought about it and concluded: This is what Family means. Because anybody can fill out a stupid card they buy for $2 at the store and throw in some cutesy Mother's Day gift that means nothing, but how many kids would go out of their way to open their meager home to be openly scrutinized and altered for someone else?
Family is shown in the moments when it's an inconvenient pain to be there for someone you love, but you do it anyway because you love them. It means opening yourself up to the exaggerations and the criticisms because you love that person regardless of how they see you or present you to others. It means Being There for someone when they Need You. family is shown in the moments when you need Family.
Be there for people. Be there for Friends. Be there for Family. Be there for Strangers. Be there to love the people around you because they need you -even if they're sometimes a pain to put up with.
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