Tear It Down?

 I debated deleting my blog entirely. 

Then I thought, "Maybe I'll just hit 'hide' on all of it and just select a few to make public." 

Then I reflected back to my original stance when I created it: 

I had another blog from age 18ish to my early twenties. That girl had not made peace with the past, was mostly lost, and hadn't discovered herself for herself -she didn't even know she was bi/ace. 

So I made a new blog -this one -and wanted it to help me navigate spiritual understandings. Unfortunately the mess of navigating "spirituality" is that you have to wade through misunderstanding in order to get there. But I wanted it to be honest and shown -that no one rolls out of bed just "knowing" everything. The way this world works you have to unbury it, seek it, listen to it, trust it, lose it, find it, question it, and be founded in it for decades and decades. 

So there are cringe-worthy posts I dislike because they're honest in an unflattering way -especially for a white person navigating spiritual understanding in a multi-cultural planet where white people have suppressed multi-cultural belief. 

For those still wondering, when I asked: "What are souls incarnated in this life as white -who maybe like me have only been white before once or twice and within this culture find it devoid of true spirituality -what do you do as a soul when you find truth in practices outside your culture you can't engage in?" 

And the answer was: Keep it ELEMENTAL. Don't focus on what we call "spirituality" which ultimately doesn't exist as we think it does and only just Exists at all. Breathe. Heal. Connect. BE. Don't "practice" or turn or become dependent on anything external that's physical.

There are physical items and practices that can aide you -particularly if they engage your senses: Frankincense for soul connection and smell, the Labradorite and Amethyst to ease a spiritual mind, Breathing in to the spaces in your body you are healing/clearing, and so on... 

But the more you try to micro-manage and control influence the less you regard the influences over your soul that you are more highly governed by. 

It was a relief to know I never had control -I was just trying to. I could let go and just trust. I could be in pain and know I'd be beyond it at the same time. I could let life unfold as it does anyway. I manifest nothing and controlled nothing. It was all brought about through me, but not by me alone. I worked in tandem like the front wheel of a bike "chooses" to roll as the bike is peddled. 

There was no free will being applied outside of God because we aren't outside at all. God is within and around and is ALL.