Recent Tweets by Me Continued

- Andrea in defense of all women: "When a talking snakes tells you to eat an apple... You eat it!"

- "Anything can be a weapon if you're holding it right". The same principle works for chopsticks as it turns out... Hello mechanical pencils.

- Reason # 435749 why Google+ fails: You can't copy/paste to your Google+ status update (let alone copy/paste anything else)...

- Apparently we're living in the age of the "Boomerang Generation". Kids move out then come back home. Clever way to put it.

-I tried to wake my sister up. You know what she said to me? Nothing because she refused to gain consciousness.

- 'Dairying is not a crime'. Bumperstickers in the country...

- Telemarketers don't make it easy to be polite. They interrupt you and they don't listen. Infommercials are more personable.

- "When am I ever going to use these math formulas?" -Student training/studying to be a high school math teacher learning beyond Algebra 2.

- People who are insecure "know everything". People who are secure admit they don't know everything.

- "If you want to fly, don't be afraid of the heights. If you want to shine like the sun, don't focus on your shadow."


-Putting a shirt on that you then realize is too small and tight and having to reverse-birth your way out of it.

-FYI: "My Week with Marilyn" is not about hanging out with Manson...




-The blessed live a life that is cursed when they fail to see the blessings they have in their life.

-They should have a disclaimer with some shoes. *Do not drive heavy machinery in these heels*

-Is it just me or is Instagram having issues this morning? I hope it's not just picking on me...

-Sometimes we need to set ourselves aside for greater things to happen through us.

-#GrandTheftAutoMemories Putting in the cheat codes and flying off in my car like Harry Potter...

-Internet speed is relative to location. 5 minutes to load in the city = slow. 5 minutes to load in the country = lightning speed!

-Jimmy Fallon, Justin Timberlake, and Joseph Gordon Levitt should create their own super band together.

-I came up with a new phrase today: "If you can't beat them, make them join you."

-What, there's a Jurrassic Park 4 on the way???!... Yesss!

-Email received started: "Dear Sir/Madam..." I believe you meant "or" not "/"...

-Liam Neeson and Robert Downey Jr. need to star in a movie together. Like yesterday...