Election Results

Well... I live in California and when it came to the Props I voted YES on all except for Prop 32.

So here are the results...

Prop 30 = Yes (It was actually tr4ending on Twitter earlier. Many happy young whippersnappers who won't have to worry about budget cuts to schools).

Prop 31 = No (I didn't really care. I was maybe 67% interested) 

Prop 32 = No by 60% (Good job Cali)

Prop 33 = No (What??? Really? Ok then...)

Prop 34 = No (That one was up to the people (because it's a personal decision) -not just me- so as a whole we decided as a state to say no to this Prop -so I'm ok with it)

Prop 35 = Yes by 80% (Faith in humanity assured. What kind of a person votes in favor of human sex trafficking?)

Prop 36 = Yes by 70% (Good job Cali)

Prop 37 = No by 53% (Wow. I thought this would pass. Awkward. Good news either way for GM foods) 

Prop 38 = No by 72% (Paranoia over where the money would go won out. I understand)

Prop 39 = Yes (I guess those CAPS LOCKS THEY USED IN THEIR BALLOT ARGUMENTS WORKED)

Prop 40 = Yes by 70% (Well I didn't really care but I voted yes -good call passive judgment) 

Obama being president = Yes (We all knew it would happen) 

On top of Proposition and Election results there were also some interesting social media results. Behold the actual conversations I copy/pasted from various social media sites:

Conversation 1 from Instagram: 

Username1: I got a flat tire yesterday, and it was bush's fault. Obama told me to put air in it so I can save gas. All you Obama loving communists will be squealing with terror after Romney wipes his ASS with him tomorrow! But don't worry- you can still live in your communes or pitch tents in public areas and whine about your "99%" crap. HA HA HA!!

Username 2 in response to a previous convo with Username 3: since I'm such a slut, I'm bound to get pregnant and I'll just hop on down to planned parenthood and abort it in your honor, sweetheart.

Username 2 in response to Username 3 again: lol you are literally too stupid to converse with

Username 3 in response to Username 2: First of all.. I'm a virgin and I plan on staying that way until I get married, but I guess stupid sluts like yourself wouldn't understand the sanctity of sex... Much less the sanctity of human life.. Did you know that after the first day of conception the "sack of cells" (known to most human beings as a BABY) possesses every chromosome it will ever have, classifying it as an innocent human life! If you think that's stupid, well then you might wanna go watch the vice presidential debate again, where Joe Biden admitted that he thinks that human life starts at conception.   

Conversation 2 from Facebook: 

RepublicanUsername1 (Status Update): Ok pinko fuckheads. You remain lazy.

DemocratUsername1: It may be that kind of rhetoric that the Right might want to work on so they seem more...palatable, to the public, yes?

RepublicanUsername1: No.

DemocratUsername1: Party of No :)

DemocratUsername2: first the Dodgers, now this .. sorry Bud ..I'll send you a copy of Dark Knight Rises when it comes out

RepublicanUsername1: The dodgers are for fun this is our lives. You can keep stupid liberal dark night-it already is a dark night in our country. I was a Dem at your age-- I woke up

DemocratUsername1: I'm sorry, Romney lied 900+ times, endorsed people who think rape is an act of their God, flip flopped on EVERY SINGLE issue, chose the most far right extreme running mate, all while sheltering his money in the Mormon Church away from legal tax collection. I hope i never "wake up" to that kind of hell.

RepublicanUsername2: Romneys words words twisted and every liberal took the bait and didn't even research to see if he was quoted right. You all just assumed. And don't say Obama didn't lie. Let's look at the big recent one!!! Ummmm the Embassey he STILL hasn't answered to. What an embarrassment!

DemocratUsername3: God forbid no blame goes to the Republican Party, a party that is totally dysfunctional right now, and can't even put together a winning ticket when a majority of this country can't stand Obama or the legislative branch. I would highly suggest spending more time and energy fixing the issues within the GOP so that there is a chance to gain momentum back in 2014 and moving forward to 2016, than the energy being spent blaming Democrats for voting Democrat....

RepublicanUsername2:  There is blaming on BOTH sides, and honestly, BOTH sides have dysfunction. The Dems keep pointing all fingers at Bush. Who is this guy going to blame this term? He has lied and covered... twisted words... and all the great stuff the Republicans are blamed for. Obama lost a LOT of support this time. The numbers show that. He did not run away with this election. But you are right .... we need to regroup, grow, and come back strong in 2016.

DemocratUsername3: I will agree in part with your statement, but my comment was directly related to the election, not what members of a party have done in the past. You cannot blame another party for winning when your own party is dysfunctional and can't put any winning tickets together. And to give you an idea of where I am coming from... there has been much talk in past day about the GOP candidates not being 'conservative enough'.... are they so blind as to not see that the 'ultra-conservative' candidates in the Senate races, for the most part....LOST. That is how dysfunctional they are. Another point of reference on where I come from... I could care less in this election who won the Presidency... my efforts were concentrated on getting legislative candidates elected that would work together for the better of this country, as our biggest problem is not executive branch (in which most of it's actions could be overturned by Congress or SCOTUS), but rather the legislative branch that is too busy worrying about wins for the party or preventing wins by the other party, than legislating common sense solutions for the better of this country that are sitting in bills that have been blocked or stuck in committees...

RepublicanUsername2: And I will agree with you somewhat. But, again, and what you are not agreeing with in your words is that BOTH parties are dysfunctional. There is no doubt about that. We are both trying to see a better future, so it's best to agree to disagree on some issues.

DemocratUsername3:  I will agree that both parties as a whole are dysfunctional. When the DNC bolstered the progressive faction, ousting the conservative Democrats and a large percentage of the centrist Democrats, they totally screwed up. It isn't the 'liberals' that are the problem, it is the progressive Democratic faction pushing the liberal agenda (the true liberal faction pretty much was 'leave us alone and let us live how we want'), with no concern over the fiscal or demographic consequences. Personally, I am working with a group that supports the core values of both the moderate Republicans and conservative/centrist Democrats and will be pushing candidates in 2014 as well as looking forward to 2016.

Conversation 3 from Facebook:

Username1(Status Update w/ Photo): Always interesting to see the popular vote vs. electoral vote...

Username2: It is.

Username3: Obama will win the popular vote too. But yes, it is interesting.

Username4: Our country is so divided- I hope we can all come together and move forward

Username2: Seriously!

Username5: When this president can actually work across the aisle then this country will come together but he hasn't done that in the last 4 yrs so it's not gonna happen over the next 4.

Username6: This nation is in serious trouble. With Obama, we are just in the eye of the storm. Sad day...

Username7: We will never come together because Obama is so polarized himself and he refuses to work with the rest of the people.

Username4: I was really torn this time around- usually very strong opinion about who I am voting for, but I am tired of the billions spent on campaigning when the country is suffering

Username7:  the difference is, Romney's campaign money came from donations by the Republican party and his own money. Obama's money came more from the taxpayers than the democratic party.

Weird Status Update on Facebook: 

Username1: Genesis 15: 13 - 14

Then the Lord said to him (him being Abram), “Know for certain that for four hundred years your descendants will be strangers in a country not their own and that they will be enslaved and mistreated there. 14 But I will punish the nation they serve as slaves, and afterward they will come out with great possessions..."

Conversation 4 from Facebook:

Username1 (Status Update): Wow. I am so sad to see all the bickering and ugliness on Facebook because of this election. Friends insulting friends...Grown ups picking fights with kids...this is all sad. Let's remember you don't have to attend every fight you're invited to. If you can't accept someone has a different opinion than yours then it says more about you than them. Relax people. It's done. Accept it and move on.

Username2: Sometimes sister, adults can shed some light on the younger generation because of our experience. I accept a difference of opinion and don't like to see bikering either but I think if Mr. Romney had won, we might see the same thing from Mr. Obama's fans. We are dissapointed and that is to be expected.

Username3: thems fighting words!!

Username4: I agree with you 100%. In an election where both sides win 49% of the popular vote how can folks on either side not understand that there are A LOT of reasonable people who disagree. I hope the folks in DC can take this as a message that we would like them to start meeting in the middle as we are squarely on both sides. A nice little table to talk in the middle would be better then the fences going up.

Username2:  Very much agree with you

Username1:  I don't believe you can shed light on any teenager if it comes across as bullying. I for one, remember when I was a teen if you're talking at me, I wasn't listening. It's funny you commented on it though my favorite lovely sister. I wasn't referring to you. lol Are you picking fights again??

Username2:  Well.....I am having a "conversation" with one of my friends and I did think you were talking to me. P.S. Do you really think I am lovely? I had always hoped I was your favorite sister.

Username1:  Hahaha..I'm shocked! Well, you should remember when you are "conversing" with teens that if you're coming across as a bully, which most grown ups do when they are telling them their wrong, it doesn't translate. You are and will always be my lovely and my favorite sister. ;) And just because you expect bad behavior from others with an opposing view, doesn't mean you have to do it too. Its ok to rise above.

Username4: By the way, not trying to fight with you when I wrote "Boy"; I realize you are a classy lady.

Username5: I've seen just the opposite tonight, which has been heart warming, and to see so many teens actually interested in the overall election is really cool. I don't think I ever cared at that age. Awesomeness!! Anyway, I agree...gotta come together, no matter who wins, change has to happen!! :) ps - just really glad that Grover and Big Bird will be staying on TV, hahahaha!! cause Oscar be trash talkin'!!

Username1:  Hahaha! Whew. Thanks Username4. I was about to go put on more makeup. :) Oh and thanks for throwing in the classy part! You're the best!

Username1: My son was all over the election this year too. He knew the propositions. We have had the best dinner time conversations this past week. Now I guess we'll go back to talking about Assassins Creed..oh yay! lol

Username2: Rise above? Expecting bad behavior? Please explain.

Username1:  Oh ok. This is what I'm talking about. You mentioned you would see the same thing by Obama fans if things were reversed. I'm just saying it doesn't make it right to bicker and fight. By the look of things, you're probably right. There would be the same bickering and fighting. It doesn't make it right. We just need to rise above and not engage in the bickering.

Conversation 5 from Facebook:

Username1 (Status Update): I don't care who you voted for, but this proves yet again how much the electoral college doesn't represent the population.

Username2:  I knew it wouldn't be long until a republican would go after the electoral college. If the tables were turned, would you say the same?

Username1: Did you read the heading? This should disgust all voters!!!

Username2: :) 

Username3: The tables were turned when George W was elected. The electoral college is part of our system & it's there for a reason.

Username1:  It used to be there for a reason. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHEDXzOfENI What If the Electoral College is Tied? That should make most people rethink a couple hundred year old process. 

Username4: I heard a speech once that was a very interesting argument for the electoral college. The gist of it was using a pure percentage voting system would allow the candidates to focus on the popoulation centers and ignore the less populus areas. The electoral college system is designed to protect all the people that don't live in dense locations like L.A.

Username1: I think if we had a popular vote now, and someone offered to change the system to the electoral college system, we'd think it to be crazy! Besides, I believe people vote based on things other than where a president visits. They vote based on issues, parental opinions, and my favorite... 

what their professors tell them. Oh I almost forgot... people vote with no particular reason too.

Username5: The whole "people vote for no particular reason" is another reason why the electoral college still works, even though it's certainly not a perfect system. There are still people (more than a few, sadly) today that voted only based on race :/ It is what it is. I'm curious if you were upset when Bush won the election, but lost the popular vote. I don't remember the exact numbers on that (& I don't care enough to look it up) but I do remember it being a bigger gap than this. This was a really close race, popular vote wise.

Username1: I guess the thing I don't get... How does the electoral college make up for misinformed people or even people that have no idea what they're doing. The misinformed people still pick the electors that are pledged to each candidate... there's really no difference. The electoral college has become an unnecessary middle man that causes flaws... in times of ties, times when the popular vote doesn't mirror the electoral votes, and times when multiple parties are running and no one gets the majority vote. The video above really illustrates the unnecessary and complicated way in which we vote.

 Conversation 6 from Facebook:

16yearOldUsername1 (Status Update): You know maybe who u wanted to be president did not win but that does not mean you go around disrespecting the people who wanted Obama to win, respect what others believe even if u don't believe the same and maybe those people will respect you!!!!!!

Username2: Well said!

Username3: Way to speak up, proud of you!

Username1'sMom: Good for you baby, well said. Thats my girl

Username1'sMom: well at least us 47% people are happy. Just saying...

Conversation 7 from Facebook:

Username1 (Status Update): Sadly history repeats and the popular vote is disregarded... I'm worse off than I was four years ago and now another four years of empty promises?!?! SMH in Disgust!!

Username2:  It will be okay sis. God is in control. Love you!

Username1: Love you too!

Username3: The first round of drinks, is on me, Cousin.

Username4: Sick feeling in the pitt of my stomach!

Username5: We are in trouble!!!!

Username3: We survived 8 years of Bush & Cheney, you'll be just fine.

Username6: Makes me want to vomit! 4 yrs is along time to screw us up even more:(

Username7: Well EFF it! As long as we have tequila and tacos, it will be ok...;)

Username8: Sooo for the next 4 years we will just stay drunk....sounds like a plan

Username9: I just saw on NBC that Obama has retaken the lead in the popular vote.

Username1: I'm with Username3 and Username8! lol

Username10: BOHICA!

Conversation 8 from Facebook:

Username1 (Status Update): Way to flush your future down the toliet America! Good job. At least he can't run again.

Username2: it doesnt matter, there wont be another election

Username1:  Hahaha that's so sad and probably true

Username3: Our country is safe for another 4 years... The Middle Class Americans will survive and our Social Security and Medicare coverages will continue.... NOW, lets get Congress to do their jobs!

Username1:  I'd shut my mouth if i was you for now

Username2: Our country isn't safe Username3, it wasn't going to be safe either way. All you have done is made our voices smaller and elected a socialist with an actual documented plan for turning our democracy into a socialist state. You're an asshole, and when everything gets worse, which it will, I reserve the right to kick you right where a real American would have balls.

Username3: When things get worse... We are so better off now then we were 4 years ago.... I look at growth everywhere, I know there are places that are worse off, but don't blame the President!

A Picture of Singleness –Sermon by Tim Lundy 6-10-12 Snapshots Series (Part 2)

Introduction… Seeking to Understand

o   Single adults are an increasingly important part of the population and the church.

o   Single Adults represent a diversity of life experience 

Key Principles:

-Scripture affirms and values singleness as a lifestyle. 

I Corinthians 7:7-8 “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.”

Notes on the Page:

We need relationships –can’t succeed without them

There was a man who worked on a farm who had an IQ of 195. Einstein’s IQ was 150. But the farmer never became anything more because there was no one around encouraging him or supporting him to do anything else.

He ended up living as a hired hand on a horse ranch.

We need community.

53% of adults today are married

21% are unmarried

13% are divorced

Most churches either don’t talk about singleness or they act like it’s a bad thing and everyone needs to be married.

John the Baptist, Jesus, and Paul were all single.

It is neither right nor wrong to be married or single.

But it is also written that “it is not good for man not be alone”

We need people.

The Spanish got it right. “Single isn’t a lifestyle, it’s a given. Your “ser” single –you are born single it is inherent. You “estar” married –you become married as a condition. 

-Single adults have unique opportunities as followers of Christ.

·         Freedom from the anxieties and concerns of married life. 

I Corinthians 7:32-35 “I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please a wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.”

·         Freedom to live more radically for the kingdom. 

I Corinthians 9:24-27 “Do you not know that in a race all runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive the perishable wreath. So we are imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.”

-Single adults have unique challenges as followers of Christ. 

·         Loneliness

John 11:3, 5 “So the sisters sent to Him, saying, “Lord he whom you love (phileo) is ill… Now Jesus loved (agape) Martha and her sister and Lazarus.” 

Notes on the Page:

Don’t waste time focusing on relationships you aren’t it. Focus on being in a relationship with God.

I Corinthians 7:32-35 –Don’t treat this like a rule. As if husbands and wives were only meant to be concerned with worldly things and their spouses. Everyone should be with God. But married people do have a duty to their spouse and do have to look after and care for their spouse. Single people have a greater opportunity to devote their time and energy towards Him.

I find it interesting that younger souls focus on family and spouses –while old souls, even if they’re married, devote most of their time and attention to God.

I Corinthians 9:24-27 –One race, one life, one goal

Live intentionally.

Everyone gets lonely –but especially those who are alone.

John 11:3, 5 –“Phileo” is a term for brotherly love or brotherhood. “Agape” is a term for deep, sacrificial love. An undying love. Martha, her sister, Lazarus, and Jesus were basically the first singles group. It shows the power of friendship –that you don’t have to have romantic love to have a deep kind of love. “Eros” is the term for romantic, sexual, and passionate love. With Christ it was always phileo and agape love –friendship and spiritual love.

University of Chicago showed that “loneliness” can alter genes and have a physical impact on the chemical makeup of a person. 

·         Self-Focus

Philippians 2:4 “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” 

·         Sexual Purity and Frustration 

I Corinthians 7:8-9 “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

I Corinthians 7:36-38 “If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry –it is no sin. But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.”

Key Application

-We must all live with empathy and respect, but never pity.

-Seek God’s total for your life and learn contentment in it.

-Cultivate deep, caring relationships –be the friend you desire.

-As single adults look to Jesus as your example and your advocate.

Note on the Page:

Everyone needs to be understood on some level

Single people need to learn to share and sacrifice –which is what a married relationship demands. Single people need to learn in a different way than married people how to focus on others –not just themselves.

Reach out to God.

John Staut –theologian –single

I Corinthians 7:8-9 + 36-38 –If you can’t control your lust –than marry. You will have to live with whoever you marry though so it’s better to think long-term rather than focusing on concerns of the moment. Sex is beautiful in marriage, but becomes tarnished if passed around from person to person. If you had the Mona Lisa in your possession –would you stick it on the ground out of its frame and use it as a carpet? Most people realize that things that are precious, rare, and valuable need to be protected and raised up from the ordinary reach. We protect that which is sacred to us.

Lolo Jones is an Olympic athlete and a virgin. She says she wants to save herself for her husband. She says that staying a virgin is harder for her than training for the Olympics.

We shouldn’t “pity” single people we should support and encourage them.

“Just because it is hard to be single –doesn’t mean you get to change the boundaries.” God put them there for a reason.

Be happy single or be happy in a marriage –it’s your choice.

Jesus was tempted, beaten, and killed. “Man does not live by bread alone.” Your desires do not control you or define you –you don’t have to let them overcome you.

Don’t let pride or “trying to fit in” rule over you.

Don’t test God –just trust Him. He doesn’t arbitrarily make up rules to torment people. He does what He knows is best for us and guides us towards His path. 

Discussion Questions

 1. What part of the message stood out most to you? Why? 

I always get bugged by my mom for being single. "Are you dating anyone?" She and a few other relatives seem almost impatient about it. But I pretty much accepted long ago that I'm going to be single for a while -if not forever -and that's how I roll. It sucks when others want you to be the way that they are -but it's also hard for you to accept that they will never see things as you do. It's the negative side of being on your own path.

2. How as a church can we affirm single adults and seek to relate better to their unique opportunities and challenges? How can you personally do your part?

Well you guys can start by not referring to us "people to relate to". We're not aliens. We're not "an other". Stop treating single people like they have leprosy and just need to be "loved and accepted". Citing Biblical quotes on the topic in there original context is probably the best way to go. As a single, I will do my part to ensure the church does its best to relate to singles by telling the church in this answer section not to tip toe around singles like they're strange life forms you've never seen before. 

3. In what ways do you struggle with loneliness? Do you have the kind of deep friendships that Jesus modeled? What do you need to do to cultivate deeper friendships? 

The only times I struggle with loneliness is when I'm alone among a large group of people. Those times when I'm surrounded by people and I think there is no one on the planet who can understand my thoughts. I also feel lonely when people see I'm alone or single and they say, "But doesn't that get lonely?" Their lack of understanding or empathy makes me feel lonely. As for the friendships -it reminds of Harry, Hermione, and Ron. I've had friendships like that before. I guess I sort of do right now. I don't know. I'm good with what I've got -I don't spend a lot of time worrying about things I don't have. 

4. Are you content with where God has placed you in life? In what ways do you need to continue to learn contentment? 

I'm sort of content with life. I'm certainly at peace with it all. But I do wish I could fulfill God's mission more. Hopefully after I'm baptized it will be easier for me to "tune into" God's radio frequency and pick up on what He wants me to do. You don't "learn" contentment -you allow yourself to be satisfied and at peace with life. It's a state of being that comes from genuinely feeling you are loved and looked after. That you already have everything you need. 

5. Reflect on the life of Jesus. How did He show us what it means to trust the Father with every area of life? What do you need to do to release to God right now in order to embrace fully what He has for you? 

Jesus was always focused on God and the people around Him. He never really worried about Himself. He just trusted God's path and did what He needed to to fulfill God's goals. I think I need to just allow my path to blend into His. Put aside myself and remember why I'm here and what God wants. The only thing more inconvenient than being inconvenienced on your path by God's wishes is to walk away from them and experience the inconvenience of regret. 

A Picture of Marriage –Sermon by Tim Lundy June 3, 2012 (Part 1 of “Snapshots” Series)

Introduction… Just Show Me

Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

1 Peter 3:1-7 “Wives in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way of the holy women of the past who put their hope in God to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” 

Notes from Tim: 

Firstly Tim prefaced these quotes by asking the audience to just listen to the words so he could explain them afterwards. He didn’t want any women getting offended –which he did say has happened in the past. He assured that everything would be discussed and explained afterwards.

Tim said, “We live in a culture that focuses on weddings, but not marriages”. Everything has to do with the day of and then how long the marriage lasts –but not the things that go on in it.

The ideal of marriage is slipping further and further away and like a ship drifting out to sea. We need to weigh anchor and reaffirm what marriage is really about. Some people argue that the danger to marriage is in laws and legislation that support “unfit or immoral types of marriages”. But the real danger to marriage is in the very homes of Christians and others who let these sacred relationships become frayed. 

What is being said in these passages is not that women are inferior and the “slaves of men”. Many men have abused these scriptures and used them as an excuse to dominate and control their wives. So let’s be clear on what is really being said. Peter is saying that women need to open themselves up to and pass the reins over to God above all others and also their husbands. Marriages function best when women are in more of a supportive role to their husbands since men have instinctual tendencies to want to lead and be leaders. When both parties are fighting to drive the direction of the relationship there is disharmony. 

The passages also touch on the fact that women have a tendency to go out of their way to physically appear beautiful. Women are the “peacocks” of our species and are the ones who catch men’s eye. Because of this women have a tendency to become overly fixated on external beauty and being noticed above others. Real beauty comes from the “inner self” and women should not put so much pressure on themselves to just be physically beautiful. 

“The Weaker Partner” does not mean that women are mentally, spiritually, or emotionally inferior to men. In fact the passage argues that women are often more steadfast in their faith then men are and husbands should look to their wives as examples of consistent faith and loyalty to God. But it should be acknowledged that unless the wife is a pro wrestler body builder –most women tend to have less physical strength than men. Which is why men should be conscious of the way they treat their wives and be gentle with and respectful to them. 

Key Issues for Wives (vv.1-6)

Authority –“Are you willing to follow his leadership?”

Genesis 3:16b “You desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.”

Attitude –“Are you willing to respect him?” 

Worth –“Are you finding your worth and security in Christ?”

Notes on Page:

Equality or Responsibility

Not a slave to men –in fact women can be leaders

You don’t have to agree with your husband. But you do have to support him.

Be an example for men to turn to.

God doesn’t think man is greater than woman.

You don’t have to believe the same things as your husband or be defined by his views.

God asks women to recognize leadership in the home.

Submit = admit sovereignty of God and delegated authority (society).

Men have instincts to lead and when they are dominated over or disrespected they get insecure and fail to lead. Men need support from their spouses to be men and follow their instinctual paths of leadership.

Women want appreciation, attention, and affection -but men want respect.

“Can’t love me if you don’t respect me”.

Respect does not equal appreciation.

Men struggle most with feeling inadequate.

Women give hope and assurance.

Too many “adult little boys” running around because moms took care of everything and did everything for them.

Women’s worth is not defined by beauty –age and gravity win every time. 

Key Issues for Husbands (v.7) 

Intimacy –“Are you willing to open your life to her completely?” 

Genesis 3:16b “Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.” 

Attitude –“Are you willing to grow in understanding and loving her?”

Worth –Are you willing to honor her for who she uniquely is?” 

Notes on Page:

Never say, “Well my dad says…”

Live with you wife openly.

Women will try to control their husbands and husbands who try to control their wives will also run into issues. It leads to tension and an ongoing power struggle.

Don’t treat men like they’re animals.

It’s about conformity with Christ, not equality with men.

It’s about sharing v. griping.

Women have to sacrifice control.

Men have to sacrifice their feelings and make her a companion for life.

Husbands need to let down the walls and let their spouse in.

In Christ’s Kingdom the leader serves.

Men are stubborn and want to seem completely in control.

Include your wife in your life –don’t leave her out.

Find where you need to be supportive.

Be considerate, don’t assume you know her completely, and Express love. 

Application for Both (vv.8-9) 

Focus on Christ as your Savior, your leader, and your example.

Focus on your issues not your spouses.

Commit together to apply the practical commands of God’s words in your marriage. 

Notes on Page:

Marriage is about Submission and Sacrifice

Giving up the things you hold back or are attached to so you two can come together

Don’t compare yourself to other wives or other husbands –and don’t compare your spouse either.

If you do compare –let it be to Christ and the way He lived.

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

It is not my job to change my spouse –it is my job to support my spouse and God’s job to change him/her.

A spouse is something sacred –a unique gift for only you and no other. Don’t treat your spouse like a name brand item you can get in any store –treat them like a precious item handed down in your family for generations that is virtually priceless and cannot be replaced.

Don’t repay insult with insult.

Be a blessing to your spouse and let them be grateful everyday to have you in their life –and vice versa. 

Discussion Questions

1.      What stood out the most in this message? Why are these issues sometimes hard for us to talk about, much less live out in our world today? 

Since I’m a girl, the “women’s role” was definitely something I was paying the most attention to. I wasn’t offended by anything said. A real conversation is one in which both parties speak AND both parties listen. It’s about what’s right –not who’s right. I just come to learn. 

As for why these issues never get discussed –it’s easy for people to avoid heart-to-heart conversations. They choose practicality and current physical obligations like washing the dishes to brush off those kinds of talks. Those conversations always require people to open their hearts and their minds more –which can be frightening for those not use to doing that. Superficiality will always be easier than going deep –and in our society superficiality is the dollar that is passed from store to store to store.

2.      Look at the 3 key issues for women in marriage. Which of these is most difficult for you? What are some practical ways a wife could personally live out the commands of these verses? 

Submission for me is fairly easy. I’m a submissive person –not a dominant one. The Yang in me though would have more issues along the lines of men struggles where opening up emotionally would be a challenge. Take the reins and the control –but not my heart. 

I also know women –especially fire signs- who have infinite amounts of issues letting someone else lead or take over. Their brains would explode if they didn’t have a partner who catered to them or let them make the calls. That’s why those sorts of men are or seem so “weak” in comparison. The wife makes all the decisions. Women like that make ugly spouses from what I’ve seen. I often feel sorry for their husbands who are yo-yo’d around far more than they could ever deserve to be. It seems like they are constantly trying to calm and assure their wife and appease her needs. It leads to disharmony and an unbalanced relationship. For some women –asking them to hand over the reins would be like asking them to sacrifice their lives. 

3.      Look at the 3 key issues for men in marriage. Which of these is most difficult for you? What are some practical ways a husband could personally live out the commands of these verses? 

Constant intimacy and opening up would be a challenge. I used to being the one who listens and gives advice. I’ve never really had anyone I felt safe confiding in –save for some close family members on rare occasions. It would be a weird marriage given this fact since men tend to have these same issues. I suppose in some ways it’d be good though for us to try and overcome the isssues together given the fact that we share the same struggle. 

4.      Reflect the fact that Jesus serves as an example and leader for husbands and wives. How can we follow His example in our roles? 

Not calling them “roles” would be a good place to start. It’s not a play or a movie –it’s a relationship. You have to look at your relationship with God and see how it can be safe to submit, sacrifice, open up to, and trust in another being outside yourself AND be taken care of and loved back. 

It comes down to faith. Put faith in the people you are close to. Look to God for guidance and assurance and carry Him within you wherever you are and whoever you are with. 

5.      Read 1 Peter 3:8-9 and list some ways that each one of us could apply these practical commands in our homes. 

First off I don’t think these “commands” are as practical as you seem to think they are. If they were easy to implement it’d be the same as telling someone to just switch the laundry detergent they’re using. These commands are ideals for people to live up to –which is never easy for people. It involves growth and being willing to be uncomfortable. Both people have to be willing to commit to it and agree it is a vision worth achieving. 

Having said that, with anything along these lines it just involves being “mindful” or aware more often of your actions and the way they affect your relationship. It also involves accountability –apologizing or acknowledging when you’ve fallen short and mentioning or acknowledging when your spouse has fallen short. 

Finding balance is walking a tight rope. It will take some time and practice gaining the confidence and guidance to walk that path without faltering –but as long as both people keep at it eventually they will find their footing.