Thursday, October 13, 2016

My Life is No Man's Property

All of this started because of Trump. And yet like many men –and many children –Trump is just a product of his circumstances because he hasn’t learned to evolve beyond them. Whatever trash comes out of his mouth was first placed in there by others.  

And so it is, he preaches of self-entitlement as a man with regard to the way he is “allowed” to treat women. On top of kissing women without their consent, being alleged to have attempted rape on one woman, alleged to have raped another, and alleged to have forced himself onto a 13 year old girl for which he will stand trial in December –Trump has made it clear he is a dog when it comes to his words and actions towards women. He said so himself with this quote, which he “apologized for” and then defended by saying “All guys think this way in locker rooms –they just don’t tell people”:

“I’ve gotta use some tic tacs, just in case I start kissing her,” Trump says.“You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful – I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait.”

“And when you’re a star they let you do it,” Trump says. “You can do anything. Grab them by the p—y. You can do anything.”

This is problematic. Because a lot of Trump supporters STILL want to back Trump. And it’s hard to back someone who says offensive, unintelligible, belligerent sh*t every 5 seconds. And people could make as many excuses for his behaviors before –especially when the topics had nothing to do with them like Hispanics, Muslims, gays, and just about everyone else under the sun. But this mess has to do with ALL women. In a culture where rape and sexual assault and becoming more frequent and less frequently held accountable for –like with Brock Turner –this is a hard one for any American to defend.

And yet people who don’t think seek to defend anyway. They’re actually NOT defending what Trump said. At this point Trump could say, “Poisoning neighbor’s turkeys for Thanksgiving is awesome” and people would attempt to “agree” or make excuses for it. Most people do not THINK about what Trump has actually implied or said and only seek to DEFEND Trump as a political candidate.

Unfortunately life doesn’t exist in a vacuum and the implications of people defending this notion that men can do with women’s bodies whatever they please –especially if they’re rich or famous –is pretty much the reason Bill Cosby got away with what he did for as long as he did. They are perpetuating men’s sense of entitlement towards sexual encounters with women without their consent.

Which is what led to me to unfriend Tony on Facebook. The only person I have ever unfriended because I tried to hold myself to this notion that I NEEDED to accept the vices of people with honesty. Every time I found out someone was a racist it was like finding out someone had a secret drug addiction. I felt sorry for them and wished them to be cured of their condition. But this one crossed the line when a guy friend of mine I’ve known for 2 years basically said, “Women complain about sexual assault but have no problem buying books like 50 Shades of Grey. If they like pain, why complain?”

Thank you Donald. I have 8 relatives that have been molested, sexually assaulted, and/or raped. I have numerous friends that have also been groped, sexually abused, and raped. But hey, it’s not like rapes an issue or anything. It’s not like you have to watch the people you love be buried under by pain, suicidal thoughts, and hidden away by silence as the years pass by. Because you’re Donald Trump. You seem to know about inflicting the pain, but not so much about how it’s taken in.

Then my mom got into it. Mom’s got issues like I’ve said before and has beliefs that aren’t in alignment with reasoning or deeper understanding. It’s pretty sad when your mom basically says there’s no issue with men thinking they can do whatever they want with women, especially sexually as long as they don’t act on it. “Let them think what they want, it’s no big deal. They’re just ‘dirty words’”.

This is the reason 2 women who mom and I both know who were raped never told her anything. They confided in other family members, but never her. If she knew 2 women who she loved and was close to were raped it would destroy her. And yet she stands up for this belief that men have the right to this mentality towards treating women like objects.

And so it was I got pissed, upset, disturbed, sickened, worried, frustrated, depressed, anxious, and overwhelmed and I wrote this post to Facebook:

First off let me say how SAD it is any of this NEEDS to be said. I don’t usually “rant” on social media, but these things need to be clarified. God did not put me on this Earth so men could say behind closed doors, “I can do to Jessica anything I like. I can walk right up to her and grab her by the crotch. I am Entitled.” God did not intended these words for me, my sisters, my aunts, my friends, or ANY woman. These words were also never intended to be DEFENDED by any person. Because “boys will be boys” and “men will do with women as they please” are notions no soul was ever intended to be demeaned by.

You can call these words “sexy” or “dirty”. I say I was not intended for Dirt. I was made from the Dust of STARS. I was intended for divinity, grace, love, and respect. As God intends for ALL people.

You can say a book called "50 Shades" about a fictional woman consenting to S&M by her lover means that because a woman was Sexual that implies ALL women are Sex Objects. But there is a difference between women being sexual and women being used as the sexual property of men. I say I am a Creation of God –not an object for men’s amusement.
You can say, “Because some women bought this book, ALL women…”. I say short skirts, tattoos, an active sex life, or a book does not mean women inherently consent to being passed from man to man against their will –whether it’s in the minds of men in Locker Rooms or in the encampments of ISIS.
You can say all of these things in defense of your “political position” or a particular politician: I say no man or political party has the right to sexually grope or attack American Citizens –in rhetoric or in act. Whether that person is Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby, or Donald Trump.
And for those who claim “Christianity” –as some have shamelessly done –I say, “Love each other as I have loved you”. Because I don’t recall Christ standing around with His disciples saying, “I’m famous –I can do whatever I want to ANY woman. I can walk right up to them and grab them by the pussy.” I remember Christ befriending women and treating them as He has ALL souls. He defended them when men sought to execute them. He respected them in a time when they were treated like cattle. Don’t tell me these words aren’t just as much against God’s intentions as they are against the lives of every woman. I say these are Lies and Degradation no human was ever intended for.
-Sincerely a girl who knows God gave her a brain and free will for a reason and that reason was not to chuck them out the window and concede to the lesser thoughts of shameless men

I still don’t know how they can call it “dirty words”. Like it’s risqué or sexy or erotic… It’s like Bill Cosby telling you, “Hey I’m going to drug you’re drink and rape you” and you reacting with, “Ohhhh I’m so horny and turned on by that.” How the hell are women aroused at the notion of Donald Trump going up to them and grabbing them by the crotch???

It’s because they’re NOT. They just aren’t thinking about what they’re saying. All they know is it sounds like a good defense of the man and they just run with it. 

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