I'm getting better at "feeling" and sensing the energy of dreams and visualizing which parts have greater clarity and which parts are kind of muddled and vague. You can definitely feel and see the difference between a "guided dream of insight" and more of a random dream of nonsense. It's the difference between walking through the woods not knowing where you're going and standing in a clearing overlooking a vast landscape.
The other night I had a dream and it initially seemed vague because it took place in a somewhat dark room. I was in an elementery school sitting a table with a bunch of other kids in a classroom. The lights were off (hence the somewhat darkness) and the teacher -an old man -was talking and giving some kind of presentation. I don't know if I was the same age as the kids or I was the age I am now -but it actually kind of felt like I was 28 years old -not 10.
We were all coloring and I had actually brought my own pens and art supplies. At one point a kid behind me passes me a bag of markers are reminds me, "don't get them mixed up with the ones you brought." I'm perfectly contented and happy just coloring away when the 2 girls in sitting across from me start to have issues.
A little 8 year old blonde girl clearly starts to get sick. She's mentioning throwing up and looks pretty pale. The other girl is trying to comfort her and is asking her if she wants to go to the nurses office. The blonde girl is trying her best to keep her sickness at bay and then... barf. She vomits on the table -not very much -but it gets everyone's attention.
Meanwhile I'm in this mixed state of, "Do I help her? I want to help her. Do I take her to the nurses office? Will the teacher get angry? What do I do?" Then the teacher comes over and orders the other girl to take her to the nurses office.
I woke up from that dream knowing that it represented something -especially since it had artwork and coloring stuff - but not really getting what the deeper message was.
Then I thought about it and what immediately hit me was the "correction" instinct of, "Well I wanted to help the girl, why didn't I just get up and do that?" I regretted not being more physically assistive to her. I've always sucked at that. I get self conscious and I think, "I'm going to mess this up. I'm going to try to help this person, I'm not going to know what to do, and I'm going to make this worse." In my mind people are like fragile bubbles you would only want help physically if it was absolutely necessary otherwise you'll pop them and end up hurting someone.
I have "intimacy" issues to the say the least. There have been times when I wanted to hug friends and decided not to because I thought they'd be confused by it or uncomfortable with it. And I want to break through that barrier at some point. To not be afraid to reach out and help someone or embrace someone. Just as positive, encouraging thoughts can help people and add to their lives -so can positive physical contact.
The other thing that I got from the dream was the possibility of me contributing to or participating in an environment for kids that helps them out with artwork in some way. Creativity is a deep necessity for all people -especially children. This dream might be speaking to future contributions I can make.