Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Mom Update

Well a couple weeks have passed since life got crappy with my mom. Since that time my mom and I have texted back and forth a little. Neither of us mentioned things said and truths discovered. She has NO idea the extent to which I'm aware of her lies and issues. So things have been pretty pleasant conversation-wise because of that. She said she really wants me to come down because she misses me. I've decided the nature of our relationship will for the rest of her days consist of brief visits and occasional cell phone texts with light pleasantries and no discussion of deeper underlying issues. And in this way we will maintain peace and focus on the love that we have for one another as mother and daughter.

It's like the last episodes of LOST I saw where it became clear that for John Locke to trek forward on his spiritual path of fulfillment he had to sever ties with his father who was the only man capable of getting under his skin and making him feel worthless. Unlike John Locke I won't kill my mom or have Sawyer do it for me, I'll just develop some healthy boundaries and acknowledge that I am meant to walking on a path coming into my own and that path would be stifled if I kept relying on my parents to take care of me when God is ultimately meant to lead me to self-empowerment and fulfillment.

My step-dad on the other hand has NOT been handling things with my mom that well. We had a lonnngggggg cell phone conversation in which he argued that although my mom clearly has issues, we should support her and be there for her -especially if the day comes that she decides to seek help. I told him that at this point she would not listen to Jesus if He tried reasoning with her and because of that it's best to give her space, from a supportive compassionate place, and let her figure out her life from a distance so we don't get shot in any crossfire. He STILL wasn't quite grasping how deeeeeply vengeful, wrathful, and illogical my mom's state is towards him. Then he text me yesterday...

Basically Dean was complaining that he wanted OFF my mom's shared cell phone plan. It would cost her nothing to have him removed and since he was the one paying for it he was paying more than he would if it was just his cell plan alone. My mom REFUSED to let him off the plan since she currently pays nothing for it and he pays everything AND she then gets access to look at his cell phone records. Which is disturbing. I don't know very many women in domestic violence situations -like the one she's claiming he's capable of putting her in -that would CHOOSE to keep the man they FEAR on their cell phone plan. It seems highly illogical behavior for someone to do. You'd think the woman would want to separate as much from the man as humanly possible -especially since it implies HE would then have access to HER cell phone records as well. My mom's good at soap-opera star acting but not as great with the follow-up details of what an actual person in that situation might do.

So Dean was frustrated and kind of pissed and I kind of rolled my eyes and was like, "Well that sounds like something she would do at this point. I'm not all that surprised." Personally I think he shouldn't be either but Dean is still in denial about my mom's convoluted mentality right now. 

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