Updating the Lord's Prayer

I saw the Lord's Prayer being quoted in a magazine the other day and I liked some parts of it, but then there were other parts that weren't "jelling" with me or coming off as genuine to me when I spoke it to God. And it's an important prayer because people often say it in times of dire NEED when they're up against odds they can't face alone.

The main problems I see with it are the quote becoming "rote" or being spoken out of conditioning rather than genuine meaning. Kind of like saying the Pledge of Allegiance everyday but not listening to the words and FEELING their meaning.

Original "Lord's Prayer":

1) "Our Father who art in Heaven,
2) Hallowed be Thy name,
3) Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done,
4) On Earth as it is in Heaven 
5) Give us this day our daily bread,
6) And forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,
7) And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil" 

A couple issues with this prayer:

#1 The word "Prayer" -I don't like the word because for me the connotation it carries means "an obligatory or ritualistic asking of God for something you want".

#2 The words "Thy" and "art". When I use this it's because I'm in a dark cave with a bear and I don't want to get eaten and the only thing I can think to do is ask God for help. Using language that died with the 1800s doesn't help me reach God HERE and NOW. 

#3 "Lead us not into temptation" -GOD doesn't lead people into temptation, that's the other guy. Hell invented temptation and pains people call "sins". Why would God "tempt" someone?

#4 "Evil" is a concept that fails to see Transformation. Some people could say the Disciple Paul was Evil for burning people alive. But then Jesus came to him and Paul became a great, devout, GOOD man afterwards. So "Evil" or that which we perceive as Dark/Evil can ultimately become GOOD when God gets involved. So there's no real point in calling something Evil, in fact it's kind of a judgement. And that bear in the cave with me isn't Evil, it's just a bear that might eat me.

With that said I decided to make a "Call" rather than a prayer that I would genuinely use in times of need and desperation of reaching out to God for comfort. It follows the original prayer, line by line, but is put in a language and wording I would use.

"Call to God": 

1) "God and ALL of the beings that carry your Light and Grace in Heaven,
2) You are sacred TO me and sacred IN me,
3) I let Your Grace and Your Peace pass over and through me, 
4) I ask to You reach out to ALL that surrounds me on this Earth, 
5) Please sustain my body and my soul so I can carry out Your will WITH You,
6) Give Grace and Peace to the Pains I carry or cause as I give Grace to the pains I find in this World, 
7) Guide my soul so it does not waver from this path"

It's still a little too long and regimented. I also included ALL of the beings of Heaven because if you're really in need don't just call upon God, call upon Jesus, The Blessed Mother Mary, The Angels, The Saints and even the people of Heaven. Any one of them can and would help you. Bring everyone in so you KNOW you're not alone.

In all honesty if I was in a cave with a bear, the main words I would speak to God would be this: 

"May You fill me with your Grace and surround me with Your Peace that this animal may know You through me. May the animal be filled with your light and your peace that it feels no pain and inflicts no pain. May we both experience You God. May this bear also be filled with the Love and the Grace of Jesus Christ, the Angel Ariel, and the Blessed Mother Mary."

When you give Grace to Fear and Pain you end the war between these forces and bring Peace to it all.