I got a text from a random number I didn't know. The text said, "Shelly?" So I thought I'd be polite and let the person know that I wasn't Shelly. The texting then turned into a strange conversation. I was sitting on my couch bored at the time so I didn't mind striking up a conversation with this person:
Random Number I Don't Know: Shelly?
Me: No, I'm Jessica
RNIDN: Oh ok! Sorry.
Me: It's ok.
RNIDN: Well that's polite of you. Do you mind if I ask you a question?
RNIDN: What race are you?
Me: I'm a triathalon.
RNIDN: Oh so you're mixed race.
Me: How do you get mixed race from Traithalon?
RNIDN: I never heard of traithalon?
Me: What country are you from and do you live in?
RNIDN: In Modesto for now, & u?
Me: I live in Northern California.
RNIDN: Oh ok then, how tall are you?
Me: Why? Are you bored or something?
RNIDN: I'm not bored? just wanted to know who you are since your a female? but I notice you keep saying why when I ask you a question?
Me: Well normally people don't follow up with a mistaken phone text, they just go back to texting the person they were trying to get a hold of, so this is unusual.
RNIDN: It's a free country I talk to whomever I want? LOL, but it's koo never mind then lol
RNIDN: So I guess I can't u question? Lol
Me: You can ask questions if you want.
RNIDN: Thank u for that I appreciate that, nice to meet u as well
Me: Nice to meet you too
RNIDN: So how tall are you?
RNIDN: That's good, yes that always makes things easy I just turned 33 & u
Me: Well it makes it easier to reach things on high shelves. I'm 26 years old.
RNIDN: Thank you for that, that's good nice age do u have a picture of u?
Me: Not on my phone. What do you do for a living?
RNIDN: I wanted to see what you look like? describe the rest of yourself I work with my dad in real estate.
Me: Brunette. Glasses. I work as a graphic designer in a small tech company.
RNIDN: Do you get a lot of attention because of your height?
Me: I guess. Sometimes. How tall are you?
RNIDN: Oh ok then, I'm 6'3 and black, brown eyes, short black hair.
RNIDN: Excellent, I'm more amazed by your height not a lot of woman are tall
Me: My dad's side of the family are all really tall.
RNIDN: That's what is it? ok then what size shoe you wear?
Me: Size 9. What's your name?
RNIDN: David. U have dimples or freckles?
Me: I have freckles. what's your favorite kind of food?
RNIDN: That's nice u have a lot of them? I like spaghetti & u?
Me: My spots are pretty evenly distributed. I like Italian food like, especially pasta like Fettuccine Alfredo
RNIDN: Ok then good that's nice I'm a big fan of freckles, that nice u have kids?
Me: No I'm waiting til I'm older, do you have kids?
RNIDN: No I don't but I would like a boy. How much older?
Me: Like 35 or at some point when I can afford to comfortably have kids and am in that place in my life I might want some.
RNIDN: Oh ok then I get it, i can afford it now just need a mate
RNIDN: So are you well proportioned?
Me: Well I hope you find the right person to be with in your life.
RNIDN: I take it that won't be u?
Me: I'm pretty slender because of my height
RNIDN: Oh ok that's nice I like slender women
Me: You don't seem very spiritual or interested in things other than physical so I don't think we'd be compatible
RNIDN: I don't know what that has to do with anything? I don't know what you look like so why can't I ask questions? u won't send a pic? I think it's too early for you to judge me.
Me: I think focusing on physical aspects in a person in a non-face-to-face setting instead of asking questions more about who the person is or what they might be interested in is less spiritual and more physical
Me: Genereally spirituality cares more about what's on the inside than external appearances. Just making that observations.
RNIDN: If u say so? Lol I just wanted to put a face to who I was talking with? but if u want to take it that way go right ahead. u don't know me, so what do you really know? but u can judge me or perceive me however you like
Me: Again not judging. Unbiasedly noting observations. I don't care whether you're an atheist or a priest. Just noting my perceived differences of likely incompatibility in a relationship.
RNIDN: So now your bringing religion up? Lol, ok then? Lol, but you can think what u want
Me: Spirituality and religion are often tied. Go figure. Why are you getting so defensive anyways? You keep saying I'm judging you. Which is kind of a way of judging me.
RNIDN: I'm not defensive? your the one questioning my "spiritual" and "interest" not one time since we been talking have I judged u in any that way. u started this and came at me first
Me: You're funny. You keep asking for my physical appearance and then suggest we date or mate after knowing nothing of me. My instincts then tell me you may not necessarily have things like "your soul" in mind.
RNIDN: Now my soul? u sure have a way of reading someone? my soul is intact just fine I just know what I want. but why am I explaining it to u? U don't know me
Me: Exactly. You don't know ME. But you ONLY ask about physical-oriented things and what I look like. Usually if you really want to know someone you ask them more tha just about physical concerns.
I got no more texts after that. When he first asked for my picture this was what my mind told me:
-A random 33 year old guy you don't know says he is talking to you specifically because you're a FEMALE and wants to know what you look like. Haven't enough women been stalked and killed by now for you to know do NOT send your picture or give a last name. This is an issue of safety and survival.
Then he asked for my height and shoe size. I was already thrown off by his first question being, "What's your race" -which is a pretty racist question to ask right out of the bag. As if RACE defined or clarified WHO a person is internally. For instance: I could be white, Asian, black , or hispanic -NONE of those would tell you I am a vegetarian. Or I'm an artist. Or I like nature and watching movies.
Then he says he wants a son and is now just looking for a mate. Are we living in caveman times? You don't just decide you want a specific GENDER of child and then plug-and-play ANY woman because that's apparently what you think women are good for. Certainly not one you spend 30 minutes texting randomly on the phone.
Then he suggests we date. Which is where I was hoping this conversation wouldn't go. I had a random text once in a similar way. The guy asked me 5 questions in a row: What is your birthday? Where are you from? What's your favorite color? What's your favorite animal? What are you doing now?
THEN the guy asked, "Are you single" -which is the universal question for asking a person out. You would only ask that this early in a conversation if you wanted to date that person.
I guess Texting is the new "hookup with someone at a bar". No wonder Tinder is so popular.
I also don't think it's that big of a statement to say, "Hey I'm kind of a spiritual person. And by spiritual person I mean I think about God, my soul, my purpose in life, and the bigger picture at least 5 times a day because I am that weird. And you don't seem like the kind of person who does that. And I'm kind of hoping to find somebody who does. Maybe we aren't the most compatible 2 people on the planet."
Especially when that guy then freaks out and gets offended for you bringing up spirituality, religion, and the word "soul".
*Update 10/07/14: My sister Emily just got the same exact text from the same number. It started exactly the same, "Shelly?"
Here's the guy's number in case anyone feels like calling him and asking him, "Harry?": 1-559-761-2210