I went to a Landmark Forum this weekend and got 2 very important revelations.
First was a reminder: You are NOT your Self Doubts. You keep saying you want to be At Peace and Empowered and Sale Assured. What makes you think you're NOT all those things Right Now? DOUBT. You KNOW you are all those things. You are NOT your doubts. Sever them from yourself. Let them go. Do not act on them. This is how you follow the assurity in your soul.
I was then having trouble with: How do I make peace with PAIN. Not just that, but specifically Men who murder children. I'm supposed to have the capacity to Forgive anyone anything like God can, why can't I? And a revelation followed:
I've always been blaming my lack of PEACE on things. When I was younger it was my past and my mom issues. Then I realized it wasn't my mom's fault and my past is just my past. So then I blamed myself for my lack of peace, but realized that just deprived me of peace. Then I blamed the world for my problems by saying it was the world's fault for not understanding me. Then I realized you can't blame the world's problems for the world's problems and expect anything to change. So then I blamed HELL. I blamed Demons and Satan and said THEY were the reason humanity was suffering in the first place. Blame is ALL on them. Then I realized, Demons can't be blamed because they're just "tools" of Hell meant to carry out Satan's wishes. And SATAN can't be blamed because you don't know WHY he did what he did. You don't know what the underlying reason is. Hate for hates sake DOESN'T Exist. There's always a reason.
So then I blamed PAIN itself in all its forms. People belong to Grace, Peace, and Empowerment and PAIN takes these away regardless of how it comes about. Pain is to blame.
Then I came to this Revelation: BLAME is a form of HATE. You cannot have Hate and Peace at the same time. Saying, "It's his fault or it's his fault" is pushing Hatred onto people and things. God doesn't do that. God doesn't keep score and say, "Well he did this and he did that so he doesn't deserve peace or forgiveness..." He let's GO of Blame. He let's go of keeping score. He just embraces everything. He still FEELS pain, but He then Forgives it and Looks Past it and then OVERCOMES it the way Christ did.
When you perpetuate blame for pain, you perpetuate and carry around the pain itself. Blame detracts and distracts from Peace. Blame is a game for someone else to play -not you. It is LIBERATING not to have to keep score and figure who you hate and for how long you have the right to hate them. It's liberating not to have to place blame.