Friday, September 12, 2014

Acknowledgement of Pain

My Holy Spirit has purposely been "muted" for the past 2 weeks. I'm supposed to be learning about negative spiritual influences: When something outside of yourself is manipulating you and How to "defend" yourself spiritually on your own without any external help (just your mind and your soul).

2 Days ago my Holy Spirit finally started coming back on. You can tell because suddenly your thoughts go from: 

"Today sucks for reasons XY and Z!" 


"You know if people just took 5 minutes out of their day to pray for 1 person -whether it's someone on the news they saw in pain or someone they passed by on the street in need -the "Positive Spiritual System" on God's end would start turning like a wheel and more fluidity would come to those who are suffering and in need of grace, help, support, and love."

Today I had a similar revelation. It went thusly:

1. Debate in my head of the reasons my sister is passionate against and upset by Hooters (cheated on by her boyfriend with girls that were used their good looks to get attention and she was also "used" by her boyfriend to put it lightly) and why she gets so defensive/passionate about it.

2. The reasons Andrea my co-worker got passionate/upset about the joking around of male colleagues on the topic of domestic abuse (she has a daughter and imagined her in that situation).

3. The reasons I get passionate/upset over the topic of women's rights and "feminism" (a relative has been a victim of domestic abuse and rape, another sexual abuse as a child, another being treated poorly for being gay, another raped as a child, another raped and miscarried...).

4. Reasons I'm passionate/upset about the topic of God, ghosts, and souls by "smart people" who say these things don't exist and people who believe in them are idiots.(Because I've had negative spiritual encounters and have always been close to God)

At last a revelation was hit as I mulled over these things by way of the Holy Spirit. They're ALL connected! Whenever a person's pain is NOT acknowledged it cuts deeply into that wound.

In my case it hurts me to see women demeaned and abused and people treating "feminists" or women who care about the topic as "bias" and the issue as "not that big of a deal".

Or in the case of ghosts/entities: Having a NEGATIVE experience of a spiritual nature makes you negatively react when people say that those things don't exist. It INVALIDATES your emotions/mind/soul. 

If you had a POSITIVE spiritual experience then you wouldn't care what anyone said. Which is more or less where I am now to a better extent. If you connected genuinely to God and were filled with His grace -you wouldn't give a damn what someone else said about whether or not He exists. 

And what's worse is when NEGATIVE pains are not acknowledged by the person themselves. 

In my sister's case for example:

Andrea made fun of Dan's jacket yesterday. Dan said to her, "Oh now you've hurt my feelings I'm going to go off and commit suicide". 

In spite of contemplating suicide as a teenager and knowing my sisters have done the same I wasn't offended because I realized MOST people contemplate suicide at some point in their lives.

My sister on the other hand overheard the conversation, went into another room, and cried. She has contemplated suicide going as far back as elementary school. Frequently in high school. In recent years. And she's depressed and under a lot of stress right now. 

But does anybody know about this pain? NO. She tells no one and keeps it to herself. She doesn't "own it". Instead she's still plagued by it and suffering from it. If she were more open about it and let it go, then she wouldn't continuously be as wounded by it. Self -acknowledgement of pain is required.

In my case it isn't out loud it's in writing on the internet and occasionally with like-minded people.But either way -It Needs to Come Out -Otherwise it Will Destroy You Within.

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