Monday, August 25, 2014


I think the main thing I've struggled with over the past 3 weeks are the "doubts" that keep coming up. 

Initially it was: This is TOO BIG. Demons can't be bothering me, Jesus can't be reaching out to me, this can't be real. 

Then it was I'm too small. I'm not that special, why would I be the one to do this, I can't handle this on my own, why would God choose to make me special, it can't be me, this must be Satan/demons messing with me. 

You start to feel like your life is one big conspiracy theory. The biggest doubt: "What if this is a possession and I'm just seeing/hearing a LONGGGGGG series of manipulations meant to torment me and make me think that I'm in control and then sweep the rug from under my feet." 

But then there are things that have happened that prove to me it isn't. Like my empowerment. And the Symmetry of "behind the scenes" symbols and hidden meanings to the spiritual reality of life. And then the ultimate thought, "How is it so easy to believe Satan is concurring here and God is so little?" I pray to God, Jesus, and Blessed Mother Mary. And St. Michael the Angel. Why would Satan lead me to reach out to them and feel like they're protecting me? Wouldn't he want to accomplish the opposite. And yet every time I've been in danger from dark entities either they stepped in or showed me how to defend myself. 

As long as my faith in God is consistent, how can things go in the opposite direction?

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