Control + Selfishness v. Selfless v. Self-Less

Control + Selfishness

There seem to be, from what I’ve seen, 2 main underlying issues as to why people commit negative, harmful acts that ruin other people’s lives and their own. 

Issue#1 = Selfishness

Issue#2 = Control

Selfishness is pretty self-explanatory. You think of yourself and not others or the consequences of the things that you do –you’re going to cause pain. 

Control is a little more subtle. Desire for control (over other people or situations) comes out of insecurity and fear and leads to dominance, greed, manipulation, power-hungry drive, wars… 

Selfless v. Self-Less

But Selfishness and Control seem easy to fix. Just be selfless and try to “go with the flow”. But then with selflessness another issue can sometimes arise. There is a difference between being selfless and being “self-less”.  It’s a thin line and you have to find the balance between:

 -Contributing of your soul to fulfilling projects and empowering others and 

-Forgetting about yourself entirely and neglecting your own life 

Women especially have issues with this since they tend to “take care of everyone” and are very likely to have inherent supportive instincts rather than leadership instincts. 

 

Being Useful v. Being Used 

Another similar issue is knowing the difference between when you’re being useful, helpful, and supportive and when you’re being taken advantage of. 

You can feel the difference. If it isn’t mutually beneficial, then don’t do it. Mutually beneficial doesn’t mean you need to get paid or get something tangible out of the service you give. It means at the very least your soul should be aligned with what you’re doing and feel greater because of what you’re doing.