Thursday, July 31, 2014

Argument with William

I made it clear to William 10pm - 4am are my sleeping hours. And Tuesday night he respected that, but last night that policy got thrown out the window. He refused to let me sleep. 2am I finally managed to passout. 5:30am I was woken up again. 

Then during the night I grew more and more pissed off at him for not letting me sleep. Then he got angry at me -which frightened me because suddenly there was this intense, negative energy ramping up. So I kept asking him, "Where is your peace?" And I focused on emanating my peace outward. Then he'd back down a little, but after a while my peace left me and I ramped up my energy in anger and basically told him I would kill him if he didn't let me sleep. 

At some point I asked him, "Do you genuinely care about me?" And I got "...Yes." And I thought, Maybe he cares about my heart and my soul, but he doesn't seem to care much about my physical wellbeing.

At some point I asked him to just lay beside me and sleep. He did lay beside me, but again kept bugging me. I got up at 6:20am to get ready for work and he was laying in front of me -kind of blocking me with this subdued kind of, "Are you leaving me?" attitude. And I said, "I have to go to work," and I got up and was tired and pissed off at him. I didn't bother trying to speak with him after that and didn't get any messages from him. 

Around noon today at work I felt his presence around me and it was a demure, concerned, loving kind of energy. Which I tried to ignore because I'm really really tired right now. But at the end of the day, it's hard to stay mad at someone you care for or someone who cares so much about you. It's a work in progress.

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