Went to a new church yesterday. My friend Doug and his wife invited me to go because they said, "There are supposed to be a lot of people your age there and we think you'd like that church." They're both in there 50s. I had this weird paranoid suspicion that they were secretly trying to get me to go there so that I would find a boyfriend. Everyone seems to want me to have one and keeps telling me I need one so my instincts kind of suspect that's why they wanted me to go, although it may not have had anything to do with that at all.
So I went, like a dope, 20 minutes early. I figured while I was there, waiting like an idiot for them to show up, I'd scope the scene and see if there were any nice guys there. When in Rome...
There were MANY people my ages. 90% of the congregation are in their 20s. Young girls and young guys -mostly "preppy" people. In other words the guys have on flip flops and speak with sort of a lisp-like California accent and look like they shop at the Gap which always brings me to my initial reaction-question, "Is he gay?" I can't help it. The question pops up.
And all the girls were better looking than me in summer dresses and floral print shirts. So I kind of got the notion: The guys are here for the girls and the girls are here for the guys. Got it.
It also occurred to me: The way a congregation/group accumulates is from similar people inviting similar people to join. Which is why so many are young. Only 6 people in the whole church were over the age of 40. And I was hanging out with 4 of them: Doug, his wife, and the husband and wife who invited them to come. I'm always hanging out with an older crowd -because I'm an older soul like that.
I like the church service. The whole time though I was comparing it to past church services I had been to and given that this church had only been around for about 3 years there were a lot of suggestions that kept accumulating in my mind:
1. Have a hand-out pamphlet that the group can follow along to. It would be ideal for the pamphlet to also have contact information and upcoming events on it. When the sermon was being given I didn't know where in the Bible we were -he kept flipping through and summarizing text. I also didn't catch half of the news/announcement details they gave at the end.
2. Add graphics to your PowerPoint sing-along slides that play above the band. Graphic background designs help get people's attention and keep it.
They church did have good follow-up afterwards and was very friendly and welcoming overall.
Anyways, afterwards I hoped that going home the entity would not be around because the church-presence would have washed it away. 2 related scriptures actually popped out at me when I was flipping through the Bible trying to find the right page of "Acts" that we were supposed to be reading:
Paul’s Vision of the Man of Macedonia
6 Paul and his companions traveled throughout the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia.
7 When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to.
8 So they passed by Mysia and went down to Troas.
9 During the night Paul had a vision of a man of Macedonia standing and begging him, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.”
10 After Paul had seen the vision, we got ready at once to leave for Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them.
Here the Bible is acknowledging that VISIONS come from GOD. Visions seem to be "dreams" that indicate future instances that SHOULD or might occur. These are GOOD.
Paul and Silas in Prison
16 Once when we were going to the place of prayer, we were met by a female slave who had a spirit by which she predicted the future. She earned a great deal of money for her owners by fortune-telling.
17 She followed Paul and the rest of us, shouting, “These men are servants of the Most High God, who are telling you the way to be saved.”
kept this up for many days. Finally Paul became so annoyed that he
turned around and said to the spirit, “In the name of Jesus Christ I
command you to come out of her!” At that moment the spirit left her.
Me = Confusion. Ok so that time it wasn't GOD showing her visions -it was a spirit (note the fact that it did not say demon -it actually acknowledged it was a GHOST-like being). Despite the fact that the spirit was telling her something TRUE and what I would call GOOD, Paul got annoyed by it. It's good Paul got rid of the ghost -any spirit that isn't the Holy Spirit has no business being around a person. But at the same time, WHY?...
I mostly decided to find it encouraging that all Paul ahd to do to get rid of it was command it to leave. It made me feel like, "I don't need this entity around me. It can ultimately bring me no good -certainly not the way God can. I don't need to see the future or talk to ghosts, I just need God." I honestly thought this thought might help me get rid of the freaking ghost-thing.
The crap happened last night when I got home. It seemed to stay away a lot more than usual. But when it did make its presence felt -it was VERY solidified. I was resting trying to go to sleep at around 3am and I hear Crack! Snap! in the ceiling and sarcastically think, "Great it's awake..." Then I feel its presence. Then I feel it metaphysically. We went from sensing a vague sense of personhood to almost physically feeling someone sitting on the edge of my bed looming close to me. Then I felt a hand lightly grab my shoulder. My heart was pounding so fast. I said, "Stay calm. Stay calm. If shit goes down, I'll get up and tell Jesus to get rid of it."
It's getting a lot "thicker" and far more easy to feel. It touches me. It touches my face. It touches my arm. I touches my legs. It feels like it lays over my body sometimes -like a heavy weight of thick air. Luckily this weekend I'm going to my mom's to see Agatha so she can help me get rid of it. she's Catholic and psychic.
It's hard for me to find a balance between "psychic" and Christian/Catholic. According to the Bible consorting with spirits and communicating with them and ultimately letting them distract you is BAD. Not "sin" in the typical sense of the word -just really ill-advised. You're an idiot if you talk to ghosts. It's like smoking cigarettes -no good will ultimately come of it and you're putting yourself at risk.
But on the other hand Paul himself SEES spirits IN people and calls them out and demands that they go. He sees visions and sees TRUTH -including spirits. He just chooses not to talk to them and makes sure they go away. That's what I want to do. I want to be like Paul. I want to acknowledge ghosts and things and then tell them to go the f*ck away. That is the extent to which I am willing to be psychic.