Success!!!

I had a breakthrough last night. 

Of course part of the break through was in the breaking of my emotions internally. Not sure if it was just hormones or deep feelings of wallowing that hadn't been contended with, but as I listened to music I just kind of opened up emotionally, alone in my bed. 

It seemed like at some point I became kind of empowered by it though. Like I was tapping into a part of myself that was normally walled-off and I felt my energy pick up. I started breathing in deeply and as I did I got this weird sense that things were expanding around me and giving me more space. At night, especially under my sheets, I normally feel kind of confined and constricted so this was a new experience for me. It sounds weird. It was weird.

Then  a little later I started to feel "the presence" come in and start infringing around me. I hate ghosts. But I felt so strong and secure internally in a spiritual way that I just started breathing in again and going back to that space where everything gave space around me and the "presence" felt like it was being pushed away. I think I actually managed to ward off the ghost with my own spiritual energy.

I'm a little uncertain about how I could make this happen again without tapping into my wallowing, but it seems like that portion of things just opened the door, not sustained it. At some point, feeling the emotional pain distracted me from the strength and empowerment of my own energy and brought it down. So I had to open up emotionally -which started with sadness- but then overcome it so my energy wouldn't be brought down once I tapped into it. It wasn't an exact science, but I am glad it worked. 

Update: I've finally got it down to a sort-of science. You lift your chest up. Breathe in deeply and push your chest upward -not too extreme, but just enough until you feel like a wave of your energy is going out. You can tell when it's working because you'll feel like you've got more space around you. You won't feel "weighed in on".