Holy Sh*t

4 years ago a friend was dating this guy that everyone else knew was kind of a jerk. She finally ended up breaking up with him after a year. He became that crappy-first-boyfriend-that-I-dated-a-long-time-ago. 4 years later: He's married with a baby on the way and today I just found out that when he was together with my friend he got tired of waiting and ended up raping her. He raped her 3 times. She was only 17. She ended up having a miscarriage.

How did I not know about this for 4 years!!! The friend who told me today found out 2 weeks ago. WHY did it take 2 weeks to tell anyone???!!!

First thought: Stay calm. I know you're shaking and you can't breathe and you've been completely side-blinded, but just breathe.

Thought 2: Arrest that asshole now. Today. Behind bars. In prison.

Thought 3: Oh God, now I know why she says gloomy things and has been so depressed and has contemplated suicide so many times.

Thought 4: Why the hell didn't she tell me???! Why doesn't she feel she can trust me?

Thought 5: I need to inform her family of this. Her mom has a right to know.

Thought 6: Her mom will freak out so bad... who wouldn't -knowing that happened to your daughter 4 years ago and you didn't find out til today.

Thought 7: I need to tell someone I know. Someone older, wiser. Someone with kids. A friend who can be calm/impartial enough to give me advice on what to do.

Thought 8: Oh God.

Thought 9: Should I even be working right now? A friend of mine was raped. I know it was a couple years ago, but the news is still fresh to me. May as well have happened yesterday.

Thought 9: How could he have done that to her. She doesn't speak up and defend herself enough so it makes since how it could have happened -but how could he have done it?

Thought 10: Maybe my friend was over-reacting. Maybe she says she was raped but it was really just a consensual mistake.

Thought 11: I need to talk to my friend to confirm this story before I shout at the world about it.

Thought 12: Get advice. Confirm what happened. Can't breathe...