Being Alone

When you learn about Buddhism and specifically modern Buddhism the subject of “being alone” usually comes up more than once. It’s been a while since I’ve done the reading on this philosophy, but here’s what I remember/ currently believe about it:

Buddha basically said, Hey, if you want to reach a higher state of spiritual Enlightenment and come to know your ‘true self’ you need to find time to be alone to explore and listen to your thoughts/feelings/soul. Unfortunately a lot of people interpreted this as meaning, If you want to reach Enlightenment go off into the woods and lock yourself away from the world like a Buddhist monk would do. Through this isolation you will find yourself.

What Buddha was really saying had nothing to do with being physically alone or apart from people. He meant to be mentally cleared/ empty of all the distractions we carry along that prevent us from focusing on discovering our true selves. It’s true that it’s better to meditate or reflect when you’re physically alone is because there are less things and people around to distract you. But the main point is to find a place to clear your thoughts. This means you don’t have to go wandering off alone into the Ozarks to achieve Enlightenment.

As a Pisces, hearing this made sense. I’m use to being alone and I’ve found that some people struggle with being apart from people whereas it comes very naturally to me. It’s always confusing to me how someone can really struggle so deeply with being alone with themselves. (This may be off topic but the situation with Solitary Confinement comes to mind. They say that without a society to define oneself by you lose yourself in place and you get extremely depressed and may eventually go insane. People need people.) Still, for me there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. People think being alone will make them lonely, but that’s not true. Lonely is a sense of loss from things or people you are attached to. You can be lonely in a crowded room just as well as in a room by yourself (I actually tend to feel more lonely surrounded by a sea of people than I do on my own). This is because Being Alone is a physical state where as Being Lonely is a mental/emotional/spiritual state.

Spiritually remove yourself from attachment. Don’t worry as much about removing yourself from physically being around things, focus on getting rid of the things you carry around with you in your mind: Fears, doubts, hate, anger, objects you worry about, things on your to-do list, the past that was and cannot be changed, the future that is just as out of reach, money, the place you are currently at… Clear your mind and focus your thoughts. It’s a challenge. We’re distracted physically/ mentally/ emotionally/ and spiritually from achieving Enlightenment. That’s why “being alone” needed to be clarified so people wouldn’t just focus on being physically alone and still fail to free themselves from the weights they carry around within them that prevents them from being spiritually uplifted.

"Remember, all the answers you need are inside of you; you only have to become quiet enough to hear them." - Debbie Ford