*Bangs Head Against Wall*

That awkward moment when you get sweet-talked into thinking someone wants to date you only to find out that's just a Libra thing.

Good morning beautiful :)

See between you and I, we sent and received a total of 1890 text messages

I'm watching Green Day videos. You know that you're pretty?

No I rarely drink. I'm just happy.

Pretty Nerd.

Yah you smiled! Score!

You still out of town?

:(  fine... I'll go hide in my room till then.

Cause your not here.

You always make me laugh in a good way.

I mean this girl is really pretty and naturally funny... it's a shame I have to make fun of her... now who can that be?

I like you in forest green. It brings out your eyes.

Do you believe in true love?

You can be sappy with me.

Hmmm... curious. Why haven't you dated that much?

So where are you now on dating?

:) Have any luck so far?

Who is he?

(I said Legolas -jokingly)

Bull, your shy and diverting the question...alright... I'll find out one of these days.

(I said, But it was a funny way to divert a question. And you were being all vague so don't "bull" me. I like you. There.

:O That was unexpected...

I didn't think I was your type.

I like you, I have an attraction to you and yes I do enjoy your company and yeah I can see us dating... Would it be ok if we continued being friends first, getting to know each other still. To be honest I'm not emotionally ready to be some ones someone. I just want to be fair to you and myself.

I'm not asking you to wait up. I'm just going through a lot right now emotionally and I don;t want to hurt you.

Ok good. Hey I didn't know, this is the reason I'm choosing to stay friends for the time being, still learning your style.

Apparently dating is a lot more complex than I originally anticipated. I just said "I like you" because it seemed that feeling was mutual. I wasn't asking for a hand in marriage, God knows taking it slow is the only pace I can move at. I'm in the slow lane riding a bike with the training wheels on.

When I was visiting my mom out in the country 3 days ago, there were a whole bunch of sunflowers growing randomly all along the road into town. On my way back to San Jose, I pulled over and picked 3 sunflowers. One of the first thoughts that came to me was, Maybe I should give these to him... But then I thought, No that would be too bold and too forward.

I think holding hands would be a little too fast at this point. I've never actually done that. Walked down the street holding my boyfriend's hand.

It just sucks because it took a lot to text those words "I like you" and I'm probably still not capable of saying it in person. It feels like I put myself out there and now I have to step back and sit in a corner. I hate Jane Austin's world where no one says how they really feel or what they're really thinking because of Protocol which is just a cover-up for the real reason which is always Fear. It was something I was trying to overcome. It was something I was willing to try to overcome. 2 big steps for me.

Whatever. It just feels like a loss in some way. Like I was misunderstood. Dangs...