Monday, August 29, 2011

Archiveological Dig 4

People wonder why I'm so indecisive and can't make basic choices very easily. It's because I'm use to hearing 2 sides to every story and I want the Whole Truth before I make a decision.

Our Tragedy and Truth

by Jessica Power on Friday, May 15, 2009 at 6:08pm
This was a message I recieved from my mom today at 3:34 P.M.

"I am so mad,sad, and everything in between. I dont know what has happened to the emily i have raised but she is missing and been replaced with a mean, spiteful hurtful person who i dont know. She also dumped her best friend at disneyland and took off with Mark, hurting chelsie very much. She wrote a letter basically saying things out of context and saying i was a bad mother, and left it in my makeup case for me to find while she was gone. She also believes she needs not ask me to do things for her it is basically my job and she simply doesnt have the time to show me appreciation. I cant believe she could be on drugs but the girl in this house is acting like it and the other emily i raised would never be so hurtful. Do you girls know if she is doing any? I know about the mark thing but she continues to lie to me saying she was going to break up with him and he was "headed down the wrong path". Lying is something i cant take as well. Are other friends a part of this behavior? Dean read the letter and is furious with her. We plan a talk later but i have cried so much i dont know if i have any tears left and its just left me mad as hell. The rules have always been simple and geared for learning responsibility and manners, learning to respect everything and everyone. You two turned out wonderful. But something dark has gotten ahold of em and i'm at a loss to figure it out. If you know anything helpful please let me know, i love you"


****Mom****

Wow. Where to begin.

Firstly great caution must be taken to avoid overreacting to moms overreaction. She's always exaggerating things and blowing them out of proportion so don't read that far into her words. Proceed with caution.

Secondly I do have to acknowledge that it is true my sister has fallen into a dark place in her life. Teenage years are always hard to contend with. You look in her eyes and they are empty and distant. She acts like she doesn't care about anything. She's lost hope or faith or whatever it is that sparks the life in people. I think it's due to stress of school and being pushed between two parents, especially when one tries control every aspect of her life. It's easy to give up on the future when everyone has a say in it but you. Em's lost and detached. I'm pretty sure this phase of her life is just a phase and she will pass through it and reach a greater level of existence than the one she's confined to now.

Thirdly, if Mark was at Disneyland then yes she might have left Chelsie to be with him. She probably didn't diss or abandon Chelsie, that was a mom reaction. Em loves Chelsie as I do - like a sister. She would never intentionally hurt her. Em's going through some issues with Mark right now though. She loves him, but she should move on. He has some good qualities, but he also has a lot of issues. He hurts Em when he dumps her and doesn't appreciate her, but I think it's because he wants better for her and knows he can't giver her what she needs right now. Em needs to move on.

Fourthly the letter incident was shocking, but probably justified. My guess is mom did something to push Em to that extreme, something mom was not exactly willing to share in her email since she is almost always the victim- never the person responsible.

Hang on. Getting texts from Em. I hate texting. I suck so much at it.

Em says she wrote the note in response to mom's note that she randomly placed on her bed this morning saying that Em didn't appreciate her. Well there you go. Mom failed to mention that for some reason.

Em also says the note was an apology that also happened to express some things she had been hiding and building up inside her about mom. From my personal experience, the words were probably justified.

I asked Em if we could talk since texting sucks, but she said she thought I would just yell at her. Mom's walking around the house very angry and she thinks it would be dangerous for mom to overhear our conversation. Let me just clarify: I'm not mad at Em. At this point I can almost paint mom's message to be about 23% fact -based and 77% mom leaping to conclusions of a dillusionary nature -based.

You know it really gets frustrating though when mom sends me emails like this stirring up unneccessary reactions and concerns. She's clearly crying out for attention and trying to act like she's the victim so people will pitty her. If you knew the kind of crap, lies, and manipulations this woman has pulled . . . I mean, I love her, but she has hurt me and those around her in ways that can't be seen and can only be felt deeply and with pain.

I also find it funny that mom would think Em was on drugs, for several reasons. It just shows how out of touch she is with her own daughter which is probably one of the reasons Em wrote her the letter.

Em's crying right now. It sucks being two hours away and unable to comfort her. I've been there. Em got the worst of this. Sarah and I were there for each other. All 3 of us were. We couldn't do much in the way of defense, but the support and understanding was there. All i can do for Em now is hope my texts make her feel less alone.

If this post upsets or offends anyone, especially relatives, I'm sorry. It's just a truth I've been contending with for the last 21 years of my life. Truth is truth. It's not negative, it's not positive, it just IS. People are the ones who give it meaning. I give you this truth, and pray you see it as just that. I'm not attacking my mom or her character. I'm just sharing the pain of a sibling that I know has been felt by me personally and by others. I also apologize to Em if when she finds out about this post she is upset. I think it is important though. It's a turning point in her life and years from now she'll be able to look back on this and see how far she's come.


Text from Em 5:47 P.M. : "I feel so sh%&ty. I want to swallow a knife. I apologized for being a negligent daughter and she takes it as hate mail. She's so hostile towards me".
Emily -circa 2009

5 comments:

  1. Em seems to be the least Pisces-Pisces that I know based on what I'm reading. She is very decisive. A leader. Goes and gets what she wants. There is an adventurous/survivor/risk-taker about her. Like she'll take a huge hit if it means eventually she'll have an advantage.

    ...but again, these are just guessed based on what I read.

    She is very different from you.

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  2. Yah, Em has more fight in her. She's not afraid to stand up and push back or get yelled at. She's not submissive or patient. I think she has more Aries tendencies. I have more Aquarian tendencies. The Pisces-Aquarian and Pisces-Aries.

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  3. Is her birthday close to the date where Pisces turns to Aries?

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  4. It's the 28th, so technically no, but she does show more aries tendencies than aquarius.

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  5. She was always standing up to my mom when she would get in trouble. I never would. Em usually talked back.

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