Sometimes in our adult lives we have to associate with people that make us contemplate engaging in illegal activities that could send us to prison. Much like bullies in teen’s lives, these individuals are hard to avoid and even harder to deal with. These could be co-workers, friends of friends, new relatives, or a random person you’re stuck in traffic with. I’d like to lend some advice that can help you deal with these difficult individuals.
Say you’re dealing with someone you don’t really get along with- for me it’s a relative that married into the family. I find this person to be very materialistic. She also “doesn’t really care for animals”. She has called me out before and blamed me for things I didn’t do. But in front of everyone she always acts like there’s nothing wrong between us and we are best friends. Everyone has someone like this they are forced to associate with. Obligations suck.
So how do you handle being around such a person? (1) Avoid them like the plague (which is actually a strange saying because people didn’t avoid the plague very well. The wealthy thought it came from peasants so they hid out in the country, away from the peasantry of the city, only to be bitten by the fleas that were actually responsible for the disease. So really the phrase should be “avoid better than the plague”).
When avoidance isn’t possible do to social situations (2) Let It Go. The tension between you will only prevent you from enjoying yourself. If you are going to be forced to be around that person, you might as well try to have a decent time. Accept the Given. If you cannot change the circumstances, Accept Them. Since that person is pretending nothing is wrong between you, give into their delusion and play along. You don’t have to hug that person or anything; but act and believe things are fine in the moment and then they will be.
Non-Relative Family
If you are not related to the difficult person, then (3) act like you are. It’s easier to forgive relatives – you’re stuck with them. You don’t have a choice in being around them. They are who they are and you just have to accept it. The next time some jerk cuts you off in traffic or steals a place ahead of you in line, shake your head and think, “Oh that cousin Jerry… always causing problems”. “Cousin Jerry” can be annoying, but what are you going to do? Family is family.
Insults
The under-handed remark. The, “Oh you’re still working at that place…”. It’s like a jab to the gut swept under the rug. If you encounter someone who slights you, remember (4) Insults display more of the flaws and short- comings of the person insulting, than the person receiving the insult. Insults aim at hurting people’s feelings. Those who seek o cause other people pain are doing wrong by themselves as people. It’s essentially like someone taking a sip of poison after every insult they give. It pollutes the soul. People who insult others should be pitied for the harm they do to themselves by trying to do harm others.
The Sponge Theorem
Lastly it is important to remember (5) Never compare yourself to others. Someone wise once said that, basically stating the point that those around you have (A) had different experiences than you, (B) are on a different life path than you, and (C) have different goals and desires than you. No one is better or worse than you. We are all just different. However, I would like to introduce something I call the Sponge Theorem. Sponges have selectively permeable surfaces that allow them to absorb certain things like water, and keep out other things like rocks. You should be the same. Every person has some lesson you can learn from. Instead of holding someone’s laws against them, Learn from them. Don’t make the mistakes and give into the flaws you see in yourself and others. If somebody has attributes you admire, absorb them into your own personality and add those good qualities to your life.
Sarah Palin seems to be mentioned often in the news. I’m not a big fan of hers, but I still respect her as an individual. I think she is short-sighted in some ways and seeks fame and attention too often. But I also acknowledge her poise and ability to address large groups of people. I admire her ability to speak her mind freely in front of others. I think most people keep their thoughts to themselves because they are afraid to be judged by them. Then we as a society suffer by that loss when those who have something to say remain silent. For this, I admire that quality Sarah Palin possesses and wish to work towards adding it into my own life.
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