Bully

Life can suck sometimes. Those times usually involve people. Those people are usually jerks, douchebags, a-holes, f-holes, donut holes (sorry it’s lunch time –I got distracted)…

The issue of bullies has always been around, but seems to have escalated these days with situations like Columbine and even that instance that took place in 2010 where an entire school ditched 2 girls and their friends to have a prom at a different location because the 2 girls were lesbians and they didn’t want them to come to the party (It sounds like something out of an episode of Gossip Girls). Bullying exists in many forms from taunting and harassment to physical assaults. How is a kid or teen supposed to handle this kind of crap? I’m not an expert, but I would like to share some insights I feel are valid and helpful.

U So Ugly

What would it take for you to go up to someone you thought was physically unattractive and call them ugly? Just walk up to someone, tap them on the shoulder and say, “You’re ugly” like stating a plain fact, and then walk away like it was nothing. Most people are not physically capable of being that cruel to others; and even those who are don’t usually act that way because they don’t want others to think less of them. When a person can (1) go out of their way to be cruel (2) enjoy the act of cruelty or think nothing of it and (3) no be pained or feel guilty afterwards: There Is Something Wrong With That Person.

What would it take for you to harass, pick on, or hurt someone just because you had the opportunity? Most people are Not Physically Capable of hurting others. People who Are capable and Choose to hurt others are Defective. They lack something inside themselves that most people have. Most people have a built in wall called a conscience that prevents them from harming others. People who act cruelly towards others don’t have this or, if they do, don’t know what it’s good for.

When you act cruel towards humanity, you act against compassion. When you give no regard for humility, you can’t be said to be humane. If you lose site of your Humanity, you Cannot call yourself Human. You are therefore something else.

Some people would call these sorts of individuals beasts or animals – acting out of violent impulses. This comparison is an insult to wolves. Most animals act out of an instinct for survival, not hate. These “people” are beneath animals. I call them Monsters. Those who would inflict pain on children. Those who would beat someone for personal enjoyment. Those who would threaten to take another person’s life away because they hold no value for the lives of others. These Are Monsters.

A bully, depending on the severity of his actions, is a lighter version of a Monster that can become a full-fledged one if hate continues to grow within and becomes a common characteristic. When you see someone acting cruelly towards others – Know there is something wrong with the harasser. His actions reflect more on his own flaws and issues than anything he could ever possibly think to say about others.

Gross

My step-mom thinks lizards are gross. Whenever she sees one she freaks out and says, “Eww, eww.” I find this confusing. To me, lizards are awesome. I liked catching blue-bellies as a kid, turning them over to see the 2 blue streaks on their belly, then letting them go to watch them rush back into the bushes. Spiders are gross. Mildew and slime are gross. Turkey stuffing and celery are gross. Lizards are cool.

But do lizards care either way? No. Lizards just exist. They don’t care what other people think of them. They don’t care if someone thinks they’re gross. They only exist for themselves- not the benefit of others. People can view lizards as ugly or beautiful, meaningless or autonomous. It doesn’t change anything about the lizard. It is what it is. Animals are wise in this sense. They do what comes naturally to them and give little regard for how people interpret their appearance and their actions. Live freely. If someone insults you, writes you off, sees you as less than you are –Know it doesn’t change you. Only you can decide who you are. If you don’t like something about yourself, change for the better. Don’t let others shove you in a box. Live outside the box.

Light V. Dark

Now, there are extreme situations that can arise with bullies where they act physically violent towards others. It could be a threat of violence, an act of intimidation, or a physical act itself. What should you do if you or someone else is bullied? Adults would tell you to tell a teacher, a principal, a parent, a counselor, the police, the navy… The problem is people like to feel in control of situations that are beyond their control. When hope is distant, you cling to delusion.

They write it off and say they can handle the situation on their own. Admitting you need help is admitting you can’t handle it on your own. Most people are afraid to admit this. Then there’s the fear that the bullies will persist and intensify their actions. This Is A Valid Fear. But that risk is always present and more certain to happen if the bullies are not held accountable and keep getting away with their harassments.

Martin Luther King Jr. has a famous quote that sheds light on something simple, obvious, and profound. “Darkness cannot drive out Darkness, Only Light can do that. Hate cannot drive out Hate, Only Love can do that.” No, this does not mean you should give a bully a hug. The only reason bullies get away with what they do is because they do it in the darkness – away from the view of others. It’s the same as a man who takes his wife into the basement and beats her. If no one sees – if it’s kept in the dark – then it can’t be stopped. The only way to end it is to shed as much light as humanly possible on the situation. Bring a flood light if you’ve got one. Tell Everyone you know. If everyone knows about it, everyone can stop the abuse together.

 Imagine a school where the students defend and protect other students. Where kids stand up for others and stand united against haters. How much violence would there be then? If everyone knows about a person who is a bully, or a group of bullies, the bullies will never be out of site or hidden in the darkness.

If you cannot bring yourself to tell others and shine the light on hate, then at least have the common sense to tell your friends and make sure they’re around. Just as you would want the battered wife to tell her neighbors, family, and community she is being assaulted and needs help, so everyone should feel for themselves and for others when they are victimized by Monsters.